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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Death...

Why do people worry about funeral expenses? Isn't that a retarded concept? Hello??? Bah duh...you are dead. Why worry: be happy! Okay, it could be said that close relations would then have to foot the bill if you did not make "arrangements." Only if they are stupid would they foot the bill. Why spend money on the dead when the living need it more. So what if it is "nice" to send flowers. Is it really nice? Why kill all those flowers just to dump them on a dead body later. There seems to be a lack of logic here.

Do people really pay their last respects and is the body in the coffin the person they really knew? Didn't the person that they knew not look so plastic or filled with cotton? Did the person feel like stone and were they cold and bloodless? NAH! The ancient Greeks and Vikings were doing something right by burning the bodies and sending them skybound in billows of smoke.

The funeral ghouls just want your money. Bury the body in your yard and be quiet about it. Hey, if it is your land, why not. Live long and prosper my friends. Do I sound cold? Nah. It is just a figment of your imagination which you will get over in due course. ~ Maggie 3/28/07 @ 7:12 p.m.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Dinner in the Sewer

Disheveled and grimy
His blackened hands lift the manhole cover
And he emerges from the bowels of the sewer
In search of food
He seeks out the weak and vulnerable
As he does not like a struggle
With a dull knife in hand,
He makes his way to a darkened doorway and waits

Many walk past him yet never even see him
Seemingly part of the scenery, he melds in like a chameleon
However, even if exposed, he would escape the eyes of passers by
As that is the usual way of the streets
In solitude, he has time to ponder dinner
Shall it be flank, leg, rump roast, or blade?
Breast has not been had in some time, then again, the meat is not that fair
These thoughts make him salivate and grow anxious
Running his finger along his dull blade, he smiles

Anticipation is building and his stomach starts to growl
There is lone movement on the sidewalk and his attention is drawn
Drawn and fixed on that which wobbles from side to side
And is approaching slowly
He rises from his recess and readies himself for attack
Just as the body passes him, he applies a left arm choke hold
While repeatedly stabbing the kidneys of his victim
As the body goes limp, he allows for the natural drop
Lifting his dinner by the collar, he drags him off the nearest manhole
And disappears back into the sewer ~ Maggie 3/17/07 @ 6:56 p.m.

HIM (Acronym: He In Me)

Your head lies in my lap and I listen to the words you speak. I watch your face through amazed eyes and see thoughts expressed through facial expressions and hand movement. The feeling is cozy and warm as comfort is abound and freedom reigns. We can be who we are.

I stroke your head while I listen to you and I begin to stir. Maybe it is my breathing or my movement that gets you stirring and you pull me forward to kiss you. Our mouths are open and our tongues start off slow and become more wild with each lash. This intensity is followed to the floor as we tear each others clothes off like animals.

You know that I want to be tied so you grab me and...
A struggle is given as that is more fun as I want you to work for it. I try to bite you...maybe I succeed, but I want you and you sense it. Your force is stronger than mine and that arouses me like a cat in heat.
O, mind of fantasy lift me and take me away
Art there no end to my longing?
Bring me to the arms that I want draped around me
Bring me to the lips that I want to kiss
Allow me the warmth of thy body under cold sheets
Allow me the gentle caresses and rough play that thou art capable of
Art thou there in reality?
Aye, as I have heard thee stir!

Lest we tear ourselves from this dreamlike state, reality will not occur. Dost the pain of longing bear more weight? Nay to pain and aye to joy! The joy of caring and sharing as we have been doing...one more step beyond. Art thou at the edge? My fingers grip the cliff's cuff and yet I want to free fall for the rush of it all. Let's splatter the walls with blood and litter the floor with paper or mags. Let's paint the walls, ceilings, and floors black and enter the constellations in every room. Lit only by candles held by skeletal hands that have long ago lost feeling. We cast enough to feel for all the bones that have yet to turn to dust. ~ Maggie ~ Dec 15, 2006
---------------
Dreams of a soft spring night bring me to his arms
We hug and stare into each other's starry eyes which have told many stories
Only now the glimmer seems...
I feel your lips kissing my neck and shivers run down my spine
Kisses in other regions bring deeper shivers and yet I want more
I have felt these kisses in my mind as you spoke of them
However, reality is longed for
Will you pin me down and make me struggle?
Struggle for that which I want in the first place?
Maybe you will tie and tease me and grant yourself the right of full exploration
Then again, perhaps passion will not allow time for such a game
At least not at first
The world is our playground and nothing is predefined or limited
Perhaps ritual sex in a tomb could be had
Making love in the grass on a warm night
Rough sex in a bed
Wild sex in a car
Sharing thoughts about life which end on the floor in nakedness' delight
Toys and play...play and toys
Roles to be had and scenes to be done
Who is who?
What has been won?
Prizes that we both want and will share accordingly
In that which we have only grazed the surface with subtlety
The beautiful subtlety that leaves questions unanswered
The subtlety that makes my mind wonder
Simple words that bring me to climax
The complexity has yet to be felt by two...
Doused with butterscotch
You can be my lollipop
Gently I enjoy the concoction
While bringing you pleasure
A pleasure that is actually my greed
I want you to cum first
As I will have you longer each time afterward
Although fairly gentle in that area
The desire to bite you is there
To bite you while in the heat of the moment
While you are inside me
My nails rake your back and dig in
Not because I want to hurt you
No...more so because of the intensity which I cannot hide
I want you to bite me in various places and drive me wild
Pain and pleasure are one
Open your mind and allow me to enter
See the possibilities of what has not been totally discussed
The wonderful delights of torture on a subject most willing
I am most willing
However, I can take you in my own ways although not dom
Fear would not be had in throwing you down to go down on you
Nor to ride you while you slumber or are awake
How deep will you sleep if sleep is had?
Will you wake to a candle lit room?
Will I be in a costume geared for a game?
Perhaps you will be too tired...however, if my hunger is great
I will attempt to arouse you nonetheless
In sleep you will feel my mouth take you in
And I will feel it grow within my mouth
You can pretend to sleep, but I will watch for other signs
Is his breathing different?
Do his toes curl?
Is there a gentle moan?
Sleep can be played off, but your member will tell me otherwise
As such, full advantage will be taken of my prize and satisfaction will be had
Aye, I am a greedy woman ~ Maggie ~ 3/17/07

Thursday, March 15, 2007

New York...

The booger wants me to travel and so do I. Actually, the parade is this Saturday, but I am working so that is a no go. However, if a certain party comes through tonight (running 1:26 min late thus far), then it is a possibility within the next two weeks. The party came through (cash in hand). Now if the rest of the moolah comes through next week....I'll see ya babes. I could do a night an then pull a U and return...been there and done that without the benefit of a night. Man, I do dislike driving during sun up...must be the vamp in me.

The way I am thinking, I could leave right after work and make it there by 10:30 or 11:00 p.m. ( boo hiss spit coppers are out). As my peddle won't be to the metal, it will take longer. Besides, I can't shoot by Saratoga without stopping to see Stevie boy. Right Stevie?

Looking forward to FREEDOM of the road and speed...wind through my hair. The music is soooo loud the deaf could hear it. Actually, I love to scare the penguins with it. Especially, during a school crossing with Cradle of Filth. "Arch angel dark angel lend me thy light..." Bah on the penguins (nuns). ~ Maggie - 3/15/07 @ 8:57 p.m.

Monday, March 12, 2007

FUCKED UP

Bad news is like a brick to the head. If only I could reach out and help I would, but I can't. No magick exists in my fingertips to help the person I wish to help: the person I wish to hear laugh and see smile. Okay, so I have stumbled upon an obstacle that I can't change, help, or dismiss. That is fucked. Where is/are the supposed god(s) when he/she/it is needed? Bah!!!!

BOO~ HISS~SPIT!!!! ~ Maggie ~ 3/12/07 @ 10:48 p.m.

DON'T ASK AND DON'T COMMENT. Thank you.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

He called me "MAX"

"MAX" was called upon and a new breeze of life occurred
Spoken and heard in dreamlike manner
Conjuring images of past, present, and possible future
Stirring from a bottomless pit resurrected and uninspected
Hark and check...
What venom has been released and into whose veins?
What darkness has loomed out of the envelope...
Only lying slightly below eyes mildly grazed?
The well is deeper then the chain allows
Thus the bucket ne'er quite touches the bottom
Effectual when seeking obscurity ~ Maggie (a/k/a MAX) 3/10/07 @ 1:29 a.m.
A wee bit earlier...

Everything is stored in memory flatly until retrieval is necessary. Upon retrieval via reiterated information or instances of glitched information, the original data appears like a three dimensional object when restored to the foreground of the program. Aye, I do think like a computer. ~ MAX ~ 3.10.07

Nathan has given new life to Max and I thank him with all my heart. Only close old friends and Drew called me Max and now he does. What a guy...gotta love him!

Monday, March 5, 2007

Call this a hunch...

*This is based on a discussion with someone on March 4, 2007.

Call this a hunch, but I don't think I will be going to Edmonton. This is being posted 4 days after the fact as gave the benefit of the doubt to the individual to see if they would come through.

As I am going to be in the person's neighborhood or pretty close, I was going to go visit them. Mind you that I would have had to have purchased a bus ticket and changed my flight back to Montreal from Edmonton rather than Calgary. Hell, I don't mind running around to do shit, but when the person I am going to go visit can't even let me know certain information, then gee I don't know. Perhaps it or I am a goof. Ah bah! If it is a joke, I'm laughing as there are no hard feelings. Nathan did say that I was wasting my time and he was right. Nathan is such a doll. He knew that I liked this guy and he trusted me and was okay with my decision. Gotta love him as he is such a sweetie.

NOTE: Trust first instincts as they are usually correct. This was written to verify my hunch. Kudos to me!!! ~ Maggie ~ Written 3/5/07 ~ Posted on 3/8/07

Discussion From Hell: The Opening of an Old Wound

Last night I let loose and discussed Sadie with Nathan. He asked me to tell him about her and not too many ask as not too many know the situation. I admire the man for wanting to really get to know me for me and to explore how I came to be what I am. Reliving the time frame hurt and I did cry. I don't hate Sadie for abusing me nor do I hate my mother for her refusal to acknowledge the fact. All I want from mom is for her to accept me for who I am. She dislikes me because I am not who she wanted me to be. Her actions used to get to me and I had attempted suicide a few times starting at 13 until not all that long ago. However, I will not go down that road with her again. I am me and I will always be me until I die. When she is dead and gone, I will still be me as I can never be HER. Although, I had sought her love and approval when I was younger, much younger, that stopped when I was around nine (9) years old as I realized that approval would never come. So far, I am right. ~ Arachne 3/3/07 ~ Penned at 11:00 a.m.

* No wonder I never used to smile. Actually, smiling and laughter are something new and delightful to me.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Was listening to 99.9 THE BUZZ ~ Burlington, VT

Sadie, Rats, and Motels

Despite all the crap that I have lived through, I am thankful for every moment of it as it made me who and what I am. Had life been easy and viewed through rose colored glasses, I may have turned out different. Gee, I could have been a pansy posy...blind to reality and unaware of back doors, side entrances, and the sneak approach.

Being a lowlife had its benefits and downfalls, yet if I had to do it all over gain, I wouldn't change a thing. Hell was okay and thought me well.

To be honest, it felt good to go live with Sadie as an adult and to face her head on as I could protect myself. However, that old bat carried a loaded Saturday Night Special in her purse. She showed me on a few occasions and I would assume that was her way of intimidating me. Guess what? It didn't work. Actually, while I was in South Carolina, her friend shot and killed a man. Sure I chose to live with my abuser rather than stay with my mom as that was the more logical choice.

Much of what I could deal with most people would skeeve. How many women could kill rats without a real weapon? I used to smother them in the glue rat traps. Hence the name Rat Girl is appropriate.

The last critter that I killed was about as big as my cat. A loud screech came from my bedroom which I thought was the cat clawing the window. When I got up to go check out my room, out ran this big black sewer rat with the cat not far behind it.

As rats like to run against the walls rather than out in the open, I had strategically placed the traps all over the place as I was infested. Unfortunately, Kat Kat did not kill the critter and she left the kitchen to go chill in the livingroom. Lazy cat. When I went to check the traps, there was nothing there the first few times. However, another check revealed that big bastard stuck in the trap trying to pull himself out of the glue. Kat Kat had poked out one of its beady black eyes and it did not look too happy. I took my broom and was trying to push it's head into the glue when the shit bit the broom handle and wouldn't let go. Holding the broom handle with the rat at the end, I grabbed the mop handle and tried to push its head under again...just the snout. You know? That little prick was not going down easy. I had to get another trap and drop it on top of this moving biting critter to make a rat trap sandwich out of him. I smothered and disposed of the bastard. RAT - 0...ME - 1. Got big sewer rats? Call Arachne. LOL

Of all the rats that I had to tangle with, only one got away and he left much of his fur behind.

WARNING: Do not try this at home unless you have big gonads as rats will attack you when cornered.

Bed bugs, roaches, water bugs, spiders, worms, and snakes don't bother me. Centipedes on the other hand do. I kill those suckers.

Today I was talking to my cousin and was telling her about the funny comments left about fleabag motels in Edmonton. I find it funny as I could deal with it. Hell the shitholes in Jersey that went for $25 per night were real dives and gross, but who cares. If the sheets are dirty you make them change them. Who cares about the paint on the walls, broken wall lights, dirty shower curtains, and holes in the mattress. Shit! What do you expect for $25 per night? Certainly not the amenities that the Waldorf Astoria, Hilton, or Plaza offer. Nope. You get what you pay for. Besides, the people there are probably more colorful. No matter what dive I choose, I am sure that it will be an adventure. Oh yeah... ~ Arachne ~ 3/5/07 ~ Penned prior to 3:00 p.m.

Was listening to 99.9 The Buzz ~ Burlington, VT

A Good Man

What do you do when you find a good man, you hang onto him by the nuts if you have to. If you have to use your teeth, then by all means do so. Most men are flakey to begin with and more so than a pastry chef's delight. Therefore, when a decent unflakey guy is found and he has heart, mind, soul, and keeps to his word, KEEP HIM. ~ Maggie ~ March 5, 2007 - Penned prior to 3:00 p.m.

P.S.: HE IS AMAZINGLY FANTASTIC and WOW in his thought processes!!! What a wonderful sharing and caring person! I can't wait for April 21 to arrive.

Was listening to 99.9 THE BUZZ - Burlington, VT

Friday, March 2, 2007

FEAR???

There is a poem at the end of this spew.

Everyone experiences fear in one form or another, however, many won't face their fear head on and challenge it.

Fear provides a thrill and makes life exciting. To say that "I FEAR" to the point of inaction would leave one stagnant and limited. Therefore, can it be said that those who stare fear in the face actually fear what it is that they face? Perhaps avoidant behavior is more apt when approaching a fear. You know what I say? "FUCK FEAR!" Grab the bull by the horns and slam him the fuck down.

Don't walk on eggshells. Don't hold back. Free fall and enjoy the show. What is the worst case scenario? You'll die? Shit. You are going to die anyway so you might as well go out in a blaze of glory living life on your terms.

To hear voiced concerns from another that occupied head space was amazing. The exact same level of concerns were addressed. Talk about being in TUNE. Hum. I like it.

Hallowed by an uprising globe of red in blue skies
Cloudless and beautiful
The wind exhales and
Reeds, willows, and grass breathe
Breathing life into still art
Captured in pixels
Sitting glorified upon a throne
A god without a mass
Save for one who pays homage
One who see the beauty with in the shell
Shells of temporary capture
Temporal and aligned signatures
Hold tight electrical energy
That delightfully dance in the cosmos upon release
Release form the confines of one's structure

* Love has many levels, but me thinks the Eros type is the most false of the loves as it is LUST and not true LOVE. Tis quite shallow. Depth can be dived into. ~ Maggie ~ Penned 3/2/07 prior to 3:00 p.m.

WAS LISTENING TO 99.9 THE BUZZ...Vermont, USA

Thursday, March 1, 2007

The Apartment Story: * a startling discovery

One day when bored, my daughter read my blog and this little story led her to discover her half brother. I am glad I hold details of certain types in my head. Only one close would know what I know and the facts cannot be refuted. We have pictures to boot. LOL *wink* Too bad I can't remember her younger sister's mother's last name. However, I do know where she lives. Hum...I forgot to mention that fact as the house she lived in was OWNED and not rented. She lived in Gravesend off Ave. X and her name was Joanne. Little sis is Andrea, however, she is older than my daughter's brother. He is the baby of the lot.

Okay, Drew beat the crap out of Erin and Joanne and used them. He punched me a few times and blackened my eye, however, I sliced him and beat the crap out of him. When I broke a bottle over his head publically, he didn't file charges. Maybe he liked it. Hell, he got his face punched and head banged into the wall in front of his friends and his ass kicked from the West Village to Rivington Street and he did SFA (sweet fuck all). Mind you, he was 6' 3" and had a record for armed robbery and attempted murder and served prison time at Fishkill Correctional Facility. NO FEAR here. Uh uh. Considering that I sold all his clothes, guitars, amps, cords, wha wha peddles, actually everything he owned, he still wanted me. Weird huh? Nah...MAXIMUM. Take no prisoners: take no shit. ~ Arachne ~ 3/12/07 11:21 p.m.

He was a Long Island guy who lived in a dive on the lower east side and I was a burnout from south Brooklyn who met while enjoying the entertainment that only Wendy O could provide. The Brooklyn Zoo was jam packed that night and you could loose yourself if you were not hanging on tight enough.

Pam (Horse Head) and I had gone to the show together, but somehow, and as usual, we lost each other in the crowd. Just hanging there with everyone else with my blue, pink, and black hair with green metallic high-top sneaks and some wild vest that had sooo many buttons bah!!! Anyway, there I am minding my own damn business when someone, who I could not see (too many people) grabbed my hand and led me through the crowd only to release me deeper within??? Again, minding my own business, someone in the crowd thinks I am a chicken and grabs my breast. I turned, but could not figure out who did it. This happened a few times and then I grabbed his hand and than slapped him. When that was done and peace was made, we moved out of the crowd to the sides and started talking. He was real drunk and threw up on me and himself. As I did not give a fuck back then as I don't give a fuck now, I dragged him into the ladies room to clean him up.  The guy who dragged me through the crowd was Drew's friend. He was getting me for Drew. Weird huh? (HORSE HEAD was a name that Drew gave to Pam as he thought she was ugly.)

After the show, Pam, Drew, Drew's friend, and I all headed back to my apartment to hang and to sobber Drew up. I told him to shower and made some coffee. After taking off his clothes, he wrapped himself in a towel and came out of the bathroom and invited me to shower with him. Saying "no thanks" to the prospect, he finally showered and came to chill out with us. By this time it was the wee hours of the morning and he was starting to nod despite the coffee. Pam was going home with his friend and he did not want to go back to Manhattan, however, I did not want him at my place as I didn't know him. So I made him leave when they left.  He slept in the train that night.

A couple of weeks later, Pam called to say that Drew's friend wanted my number to give to Drew and would I let her give it. I said "sure." When Drew called, he was real sweet and read me poetry and played his guitar and I wanted to see him again. We dated for a bit staying mostly in Manhattan, but his apartment was real bad. Real real bad. It used to kick when I would end up on the lower east side alone at 3:00 a.m. on my way home (his house) and these messed asses would say "hey meda (sp?) mommy!" from dark doorways. Right in spirit or nuts, I would tell them off saying something like "what do you all have the same mother?" Yeah, I have a mouth on me.

Realizing that keeping two apartments was crazy as we were both paying around $300 per month, he dumped his place and moved in with me. As a compromise was struck, he got rid of some of his stuff and I got rid of some of mine...duplicate things were discarded. Yet when that van dumped the final load (3 loads), wow what a mess we were in. There was no place to move around in. It felt like his stuff invaded my space and I was frustrated...he was frustrated. Believe it or not, it look a few weeks for us to settle. Things come and go, but memories of a loved one live on in eternity regardless of the relationship's ending. RIP Drew! My lucky 13 Scorpion!  We both had studios apartments which means most of your living was done in one room...his bathing and bathroom were just about in his kitchen. Wait...his kitchen was in his living room which was his bedroom which was all in one room. HA HA HA Good old Manhattan 6 story walk-up. Why would they put glass shards sticking out of the cement on the exterior windowsill on the TWO windows in his place when it was six floor up? Ok, it would cut off or badly cut the fingers of someone trying to hang on from outside. Maybe that will explain the neighborhood. Hum.

The first song my daughter ever heard was by the Scorpions called In Trance. She was newborn (1 day old) with headphones on plugged into a Sony Walkman! Nix is Drew's kid.

Gee, I even had the ballz to call Erin to tell her: It's a girl. Ah, the bitch bought Nix something before her birth and we buddied up years before. Besides, I can relate to ex-gal pals real good. Oh yeah, Erin's son is my daughter's younger brother.

Side note: Erin was Drew's social worker when he was in UNDER 21. Her daddy was a hot shot NYC lawyer with a penthouse on Park Avenue, yet she lived in the slum. Gotta give her credit for that one.

She (Erin) is a story unto herself. *smirk* ~ Arachne ~ March 1, 2007 @ 9:36 p.m.
WE BE ROCKIN~

Thoughts...

Wow, it feels good to just say what I think to someone and not have them bite my head off or think that I am nuts. Then again, I say what I think to everyone regardless of the outcome. When a certain someone is real cool it makes the saying all that much better. Knowing that they feel the same kind of insecurities is fine as that is what makes us human. We differ at many levels, yet we are so much the same.

If you haven't walked a mile in a person's shoes, put yourself there and contemplate your next move.


Life is ducky! OH YEAH... I HAVE HIGH SPEED FINALLY SO I CAN SEE AND HEAR CLIPS IN LESS THAN THREE DAYS. WEE HA!!! ~ Maggie 3/1/07 @ 8:43 p.m.

Listening to song "AGENDA."

Friday, February 23, 2007

Come out and play:

Looking ever so sweet in his jeans and converse sneaks, he jumps off the cannon and heads towards me. I take his hand and we hand out into the setting sun to go on an adventure that will lead us to strange and new places that only our imagination can take us. With the innocence of children, we laugh and joke and enjoy the moment for what the moment brings is magickal and thus never ending.

The world is our playground and like two children we take full advantage of it. He is the king and I am the queen. Although not of royal blood, we have ascended the monkey bars and thus we run the grounds as far as our eyes can see. The hobby horses are not only our court, but also our steeds which on which we gallop the grounds. Granted the coil that holds them in place keep us in place as well, however, only those who would lay eyes on us would see that. Actually, we are like the children who jump through the chalk drawing in Mary Poppins. We may not have carousel horses, but ours are just as grand if not more so.

He has a surprise for me at a special park. There in the middle lies a giant spider web made of cable and oh so craftily suspended. Not even the great weaver Arachne herself could weave such a design to withstand our weighted passions. As this is my surprise from him, I too must give him a surprise. Being the good little spider that I am, I head to the center of the web and beckon him to join me. The playful child quickly begins to lose her childlike innocence and turns to woman and then from woman to "the black widow." Her invite to be joined does not go unnoticed by the boy who turns to man who then turns to mate and who heads toward me.

Although he enters the web with anticipation, I too have my own towards him. Under the full moon we are many shades of gray and yet our true colors show through. I entwine myself within the web rather than entwine him and wait for him to prey upon me. This widow shall not kill her mate, however, she will allow him to devour her.

Written to and inspired a whole hell of a lot by "Nathan" who feeds my imagination loving spoonfuls!!! ~ Arachne ~ 2/23/07 @ ?
Mutual Words & Feelings

He once assumed love and last night it was confirmed. Actually, it felt good to say it and hear it back. However, the better part of that equation is that it is FELT by two and NEVER had to be SAID: he felt it and I felt it. Yeah, it does "[feel] warm inside." The theory that actions speak louder than words is very accurate, special, and rare.

Last night we confirmed "boyfriend" & "girlfriend" status. Don't anyone laugh or I'll kill you. It is what it is and hell if it feels good between two people, it does not matter what others think. We are very alike in that area as we like being different. Man, last night was WONDERFUL for both of us.

Note: While you guys celebrated VD, we celebrated "our" day. The difference is that "our" day occurs EVERYDAY which is very unlike Valentine's Day.

Does anyone know what it is like to share everything from the serious (life, world events, love, and politics) to the insane (cow tipping and boogers) with total acceptance?

One hundred percent honest and wonderful is what he is and I can be me and he can be him. Sure not everything is perfect, yet this so seems close. Again, regardless of the outcome, love can exist between us as that is how we are.

He brought up a good question the other day: "What happens if you miss your flight home?" Yikes, but that is cool and something I can live with. ~ 2/23/07 @ 5:51 a.m.

I have to repost this about him as this is what he is.

Someone Sweet

Sweet gentle prince of men
Grant a touch of thy finger to my tea
That thine essence pure may be transferred
Stir about it gingerly
Nay, thou shares nothing bittersweet or pseudo
As the taste plays happily and lingers on my buds and in my mind
Ne'er changing its nature
Proof in the pudding is proof in the pie
Cake or crust dost crumble
Yet thou hold solid and true
Undeniably, thou art pure to form
Thou art akin to the sweetness of cane and comb ~ Maggie 1/13/07 @ 8:35 p.m.

A Poem

Fair angel who hast not been touched by religion
O cherub winged and glorious
Thy beauty hosts from within and without
To concur forming one
One radiant beam of light that casts out
Darkness in the most inaccessible recesses
Making brilliant that which was dull
Exploring that which had yet to be explored
Accepting that which most would put asunder
Being god angel and man child in one
O mighty splendor let me cast an eye to thee
Caricature mine eye to that of a globe
My pupil dilates and is regulated by what is shown
Maximizing in the dark for greater range and
Minimizing in the light
Expand upon me what you will
However, grant me audience so to capture as did Raphael ~ Maggie 1/13/07 @ 10:45 p.m.

Nathan:

His voice is like willows is in the wind
His spirit is childlike and wonderfully imaginative
His kindness and thoughtfulness brings a tear of joy
His respect is something that I value as it is priceless
His sharing and caring ways are unlimited
His body is artfully crafted and there is room for imagination
His rage and frustration is humorous yet a turn on
His eyes see what others do not as
His mind is open and endless
He is sweeter than the sweetest candy
The beauty of this is that I can see him in the park with me! He is Apollo and he is a god in his own right!

Hail! The sun is shining! ~ Maggie 12/15/06

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Missed

A smile dances across my face
Thinking thoughts of someone special
The feeling is warm and comfortable
Although not a bard per se
What writes are written
Strike chords and there is
Harmony!
Eager ears wait upon vocalization of events
Questions arise and questions will be answered
A vocal and auditory dance of emitting and receiving
Sharing and sparing nothing
Sweet innocence missed
Brought upon by departure
Only to return again
Yes! Return again
The allowance of true self
Escapes judgment thus far...
This beauty leaves many doors ajar
Rather than closed and impenetrable
The light is shining and someone is home ~ Arachne ~ penned on 2/22/07 @ 1:30 p.m.
Written to and for Nathan!

** Sweet, beautiful, and wonderful words were exchanged this eve and it makes my heart glow.

Friday, February 16, 2007

A Present For Me by Bob P. - A Sexual Response...

This was written by my friend Bob who I met while at work. After reading my "Fantasy Piercing" blog, he wrote this complimentary piece which is posted with his approval. Bob is a wonderful writer and it is hoped that he writes a novel in the not too distant future. Let me know what you think of his work as I would like to pass it onto him. Thank you.

NOTE: He also has a script in progress that is really kick ass. Maybe he will let me share it. I have to ask.  ~ Arachne

A present for Arachne:

The glow of the one candle lit caught her breath in the cool room, she knelt there on the hard wood floor, the weight of her body resting painfully on her knees as he had instructed and she promised.

She knelt there waiting, her mind racing, heart pounding, the sweet scented vapors emanated from her wet flesh as the winter air rushed in softly from the partially opened window.

I can hardly remember what his face looks like, risks, yes risk, this is exciting, I want this, she whispered to herself. I unlock the door… the night air circled her in the dark , raising the texture of her skin ,aching nipples and the warm stream between her thighs.

Will he know what to do, will he feel what I want…half hour pasted quickly as she knelt there aware of her need to be touched tasted, obedient.

A deep primordial ball rushed from her stomach exploding in her head as she heard the door open.

Vulnerable aching and hunger cried out as she could here his foot steps approaching the center of the room. The cool stillness intensified as they could hear each other breathing.

Re assured by the gentle brush of his warm face against hers without a kiss and over other exposed parts of her cool and aching body made her realize that she could relax and focus on being obedient.

Firmly but as an accomplice to this love making he slipped the belt around her throat, turned the buckle to the back of her soft neck, down around the separated ankles, noticing the juices beneath her, he watched the spiders dancing with her every breath.

He lifted himself as he now stood over her swollen open lips and leaned forward. Brushing his hot , hard cock beneath his jeans against her lips she responded by biting him anticipating the taste of this hard warm member parting her lips and down her throat temporarily cutting off the opening to the air.

Turning away he just watched her for a short while pulling down his zipper exposing his cock to her. He picked up the candle and walked behind her as he slipped a blind fold over her eyes to intensify the awareness and total beauty of it all.

He traveled the heat of the candle teasing her ass, back, nipples thighs, she painfully arched backwards as she wanted for him to stroke her trunk also with the warm heat, slowly without warning grab her hair tightly as he moved his cock between her lips and down her throat pulling out only to rub it around her face, eyes and…

She could only feel the now of the incredible beauty of it all, he moved as though he could read her mind he loved the pain from her teeth running down his cock nipping the end.

Moving her on her face and from behind he licked the juices from her, he moved his hands under her pinching her nipples as she responded with approval. His tongue traveled from her clitoris to her anus sweet and also swollen with need, she whimpered as she surrendered to his every need and hers.

They both new that the challenge to each other was inevitable, the risk, the putting each other out there was to be for each their own self. Strong each other on there own the surrender to the crossing of paths was meant to be in a moment and in the now.

The smell of each others juices excited him as he woke in the early morning, he slid down under her body to suck the juices that tasted so sweet, she struggled and they wrestled between each other until he overtook her and rammed his hard cock penetrating her for the gift of fighting for what you want and the way her eyes lit up. ~ Written by Bob P.  2/16/07

Turn Me On:

The wall plate is the only thing that mounts me and it is brass and reflective. I am lit so that I can be seen in the darkness of an unlit room. Some of my type are dimmers and adjustments can be made based on mood. However, my positions are only on/off. Off is where I sit now. Casting my glow in hope of recognition, my wires are receiving current from within and I am ALIVE. A flip of the switch will illuminate YOU!!! TURN ME ON ALREADY!!! ~ Maggie ~ 2/16/07 penned prior to 3:00 p.m.

Brian Deserves a Write Up...

*I met Brian today.

This awesome dude of about 6' 3" or more is a rig rider who knows how to avoid the scales. Brian is a real cool person who is not sitting around in the darkness. He is a toughie with scars and bullet holes, but no tatts. A writer and anti-authority figure, he makes for interesting and lively conversation. While his rig waited along side the road, he risked being ticketed for hanging out (almost an hour). I guess that is the rebel in him.

He has a nice background as he knows how to get out of a federal pickle thereby avoiding prison. When brutalized by cops, he fought back. Who the hell needs police brutality. In telling the story, he did state that he did want to kill that cop...those words slipped out unintentionally and he put his head down. The cop was out of work for 2 years due to the severity of his beating.

Wild things grow in his place in Toronto, but he can't have the lights necessary for the orange tree to fruit. The water he drinks is not bought as he goes and gets it himself at a spring. Cool huh? So what that he colors out of the lines. That is the best way to live!

What initially struck me about this guy is that he looked like my cousin Mikey, but taller. Although Canadian, his ancestors were confederates in Louisiana. Rebellion goes way back with this dude. Ancestors refused allegiance to Brittan and Canada. Acadia/Rebel - NO ALLEGIANCE! Yeah good!!!

Whoops, I forgot to mention, he is not allowed into the United States.

It is hoped that he pops into the store again with more tales. I think he will be back. ~ Maggie ~ 2/16/07 ~ penned prior to 3:00 p.m.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Thoughts on sex...

Yeah I have my sexual proclivities. I can say that I bend for the most part, but I won't break...no can do. Sex is not everything, BUT...once fed, I am like Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors screaming "FEED ME!" Hell yeah I will DEMAND, EXPECT and TAKE if need be. It is best that bridge suspension cables be handy to hold me back. Then again, I like that!!! Spank me already!

Buttons...

Aren't buttons made to be pushed? Hell yeah! Sit anyone down in a room with a big red button that has a sign "don't push" on it. In solitude, that person can be whom they are and as no one is watching, or so they think, they will push that button just to see what happens. A person is like a big red button full of what would happen if... Each push triggers a response that is either negative or positive. The only way to find out the result is to push their buttons and see what happens. When a negative response is had, the experimenter has to figure out how to develop a positive response. A person is not like a real button that can only be pushed in. Thus new twists can be developed to get the desired result. Call it conditioning if you would like.

Playing the game...

It is best to mirror your opponent until you and your opponent become a team. What I have learned is that if you show too many of your cards while still at the table, you could lose the hand. If the person across from you dons a poker face, do the same. Then again, if a hand is offered, offer out your own to show equality. It is okay to make the first move and to watch for reciprocation. That in itself is a button. Give what you get and get what you give...but don't expect it. It is best to keep all internal mechanisms well oiled and in neutral. At some point you will know to either throw the shift in drive or to reverse and nail it.

More about the buttons...

Stress tests determine how much **pressure needs to be applied before a snap occurs. First you have to figure out what type of pressure is needed and when to apply it. The rules are that there are no rules. A snap does not have to be a bad thing unless that is the result that you want.

** Pressure does not mean putting someone under the gun with ultimatums. That is boring (sing that word). Pressure is a creative gesture used to elicit a response. As people are not dogs, you cannot use food to create the type of salivation that I look to elicit. Also, once a dog is fed and full, you will not get the result you want. Therefore, using various and creative stimulus, you set up to produce the variable response which also has a solid end result. At least that is what you shoot for. The intent is not to OFFICIALLY condition the subject as the response will not be spontaneous, but more at expected. Thus maintaining creativity using various applications, a "snap" should be produced.

Multi-dimensional peculiar individuals like myself make for wonderful test subjects as "out of the box" is far more interesting to work with. Trying to work with "in the box" FEAR or DENIAL subjects is like asking the blind to see. Without sight, much is closed and thus limited.

Granted, I have my own quirks and "NO Nos" within myself, however, under the right circumstances, NO can be YES or at least MAYBE thereby leaving the possibility open.

I keep trying to recall the term used when two people come together and do something that neither would do alone. When done is groups there is diminished guilt due to diminished self-awareness. Two people make a conscious decision to act in unison with equal responsibility. Both as individuals may think a thought yet not act on it. It is like the idea needs confirmation and acceptance from another individual who helps to catapult the idea into reality. I want to catapult and be catapulted. Just think of the adventure of it all!

I noticed that I am outwardly in denial of certain aspects of my own being, but inside I realize what is going on. It would seem that (again under the right circumstances) what lies within can be pulled out or catapulted by a conductor/semiconductor into reality with a sociopathic attitude. I like that idea. ~ Arachne ~ 2/15/07 @ 6:29 PM

Thoughts for the day...

I am looking forward to my trip to Calgary on April 21 as it will be an eyeopener regardless of the outcome. Granted there are no expectations on either of our parts, however, "I" have hopes. The great thing about hope is that it is not absolute, but rather wonderfully abstract. There are no thoughts of "it is going to be this way" or "it is going to be that way." It is just going to be what it is without pretense.

It is not like I have to hide the fact that I am seeking a partner/mate and he knows that. The Widow is hungry and wants din din in the worst way yet this should not be confused with desperate as not just anyone will fit the bill. There has to be something there to cause an attraction. BTW, looks are NOT the main attraction. The mind has to be captured first. If looks are there and the prey is sexy, then that is a bonus. More important is the ability to share time, ideas, humor, wit, consciousness, care, honesty, et al.
NOTE: He is very sexy! Hubba hubba and yikes! ~ Arachne ~ 2/15/07 @ 6:25 PM

OUR DAY

Most people celebrated Valentine's Day yesterday. However, I and someone special celebrated "our day." It was us just being us. The great thing about "our day" which is unlike Valentine's day is that it can be celebrated 365 days a year and does NOT require an exchange of traditional gifts or any type of monetary outlay. Actually, it is a very simple concept that can make you feel good. It is the art of making someone feel special by thinking about them, calling them, or writing them. It is about letting someone know you care!

Hell, we exchanged "our's:" Will you be my our? Yeah! Will you be my our? Yeah! Okay, that may sound stupid to you guys, but so what.

Was anyone out here under pressure to BUY a gift for VD? Don't you notice that with all these commercialized/capitalistic/religious holidays you have to spend $$$ to fit in? Where is the fun of giving in that situation? Where is the spontaneity? Pish!!!

To give of self or to give a gift because you feel like it is better than some retarded holiday that builds expectations and letdowns. Mind you, a gift does NOT have to be store bought. Value is twisted in today's society. A gift can be a call, song, letter, poem, kiss, hug, or romp in the park on the spur of the moment just so you could be with that person. It could also be a picture, drawing, or painting that the individual created for you. Then again it could be something as wonderfully personal as a lock of hair.

"Our Day" is a day(s) filled with thoughts of an individual. Now that is something to celebrate. Oh, guess what? "Our Day" is not limited to the opposite sex and NO you don't have to be gay to care about a same sex individual so get over it. ~ Arachne ~ 2/15/07 @ 6:23 PM

Now ask me if I fucking care:

I am who I am and have no qualms about it. As far as I am concerned, if you don't like me, tough shit and fuck off.

Granted, I am not everyone's cup of tea, however, if everyone were drinking the same thing as that was all that was available, then we would be content in that fact. Life is complex as are the individuals who live it. As a result, people are different and the same all in one ball. Maybe what crazy thought you think in your head that goes against the norm or status quo is the same as what others think. The difference occurs and divisions are drawn when certain individuals ACT out their thoughts.

This can be viewed as odd or maladjusted behavior based on the observer. If the observer lacks the capacity of an open mind, then moral and/or societal norms are applied and turned against the person who is *acting out that which he/she thinks. * Murder, incest, molestation, and rape, are excluded unless ACTED out as a fantasy with a consenting individual. If you are stupid enough to be robbed, then you deserve it.

Is there a problem in being something that is not predefined and approved by the system? What about a person who lives on the fringe of society or one that rebels at society's structure by not conforming? A person who is free spirited, care free, and conscious...conscious of who and what they really are. ~ Arachne ~ 2/15/07 @ 6:20 PM

The Clinic:

Normally I am assertive in demeanor and go after what I want using whatever tools necessary. On February 12 the need to be aggressive came into play. When I arrived at the clinic there were exactly 20 people ahead of me. Not feeling too well, I asked the receptionist approximately how long she expected the wait to be. When she advised me that it would be 1 ½ to 2 hours (3:40 p.m.), I went home to chill in the comfort of my home as what was ailing me was making me anxious. After waiting the approximate time, I made my way back to the clinic and again asked "how long" and "how many people ahead of me" (5:50 p.m.). This time the count was 8 and I was told to come back in 1 ½ hours. Again, I went home to chill. Upon returning to the clinic at 7:20 p.m., I was told by the receptionist that my name had been called and because I wasn't there, I was now at the end of the list. This did not sit too well with my anxiety. I explained the anxiety situation and told her that I returned within the given time frame. Also, I explained that I could not stay in "waiting" under my current circumstances and that is why I chilled at home. In the same breath, I said that I wanted to be seen right here and right now for which she replied that it was impossible. She was patronizing me with a shitface grin and slimy attitude so I told her that I did not want to deal with her and to get a superior. I demanded to speak to someone above her. At first she said there was no one above her, but maybe she looked into my eyes...maybe. She got the nurse. When the nurse came out, I explained the situation by saying that I was dealing with anxiety and that is why I had to leave the clinic twice. I explained that I should not have to go to the end of the list as I was there now and should be seen next. This is where the language barrier was hit. She stated that she did not understand English too good, however, she understood malade a la tete, postal, and crazy. The nurse said: Room #1. I was outta there in 10 minutes.

Had the bitch pushed further I cannot say how I would have handled it. If she would have called the cops, I surely would have been busted as I had my weapons on me. C'est la vie! ~ Maggie 2/15/07 penned prior to 2:00 p.m.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Happiness Defined:

Happiness defined...
I usually state that happiness occurs upon death, however, I have rehashed the thought and perhaps it could be...
My definition: The feelings shared between two in all areas equally and universally...happiness includes woe, poverty, and strife.
Sharing my life would make me glad to a degree...If [a relationship] were incorporated into my life in general, which it should be, then I guess that a relationship could bring happiness.
Note: Nothing is set in stone.
If, should, guess, and could...are possibilities.
DEATH is where true happiness lies as we cease to be UNHAPPY.
Can happy be a constant?
Where does true and constant happiness lie? Does it lie in the head of a fool or madman?
A fool or jester can wear a smile indicative of happiness, yet he cries within.
This eve brings a gloomy atmosphere of scented candles and chamber music.
It unmasks what lurks beneath the skin.
My phantom.
I have placed myself in this contemplative state and I must bring myself out. It is not all that bad as it generates creativity.
Everything has a positive side.
Giggles...
The jester's painted mouth speaks laughing words.
They shoot horses don't they? ~ Maggie @ 2/6/2007 11:47:25 PM

LISTENING TO: Salvonic Dance No. 1 for orchestra in C major , B83/1 (Op 46/1) by Antonin Dvorak

Classic...Maestro?

Time finds my head reeling in my own thoughts and I endlessly sit in the "hum" of it all. Perhaps I have struck a chord after all. However, I am not quite sure yet. Where will this lead me? Call me spoiled if you will, but I want things the way I want them and at this point in my life, I am not going to settle because something is "comfortable." Comfort is not enough. Now discomfort is something that I can relate to. Discomfort and uneasy acquisitions are worth having. Last night gave me something to think about...something to seek out and explore.

I gave a good buddy on myspace a call because I KNOW that he is not a bullshitter and will call it as he sees it. Because of his advice, I will think of things on a different level as he had a great point. A point that had not occurred to me. Although the advice goes against my natural being, the point was so well taken that I will have to adjust my way of thinking and being in a drastic manner. The adjustment will require a whole new thought process which I will have to talk myself into as it is VALID. Why should I argue with logic? That would be outright foolish.

Previously my mind was set to "no try before you buy." However, there are flaws in that statement. What happens if I don't take an individual for a test drive? I could be committing to something...to someone who does not fill my sexual needs and that could lead to disaster. Luckily, I have not had a problem in this area before so I have never had to think otherwise.
Give me a dangerous man
A man who will go after what he wants
A man who takes what he wants
A man who does not take "NO" for an answer
A man who will put my funky ass in place
A man who can read my desires and fulfill them
A man who can tell me of his desires and expect fulfillment
A man whose words can cause my mind to stir and my nether regions to saturate
A man who can locate all my buttons
A man who can get past the tough exterior
A man who can hone in on my soft core
Maestro, your orchestra awaits your gesture. Move but a hand and hear the flute, yet another and the strings flow...perhaps the ivory. Great gesture brings about string, woodwind, brass, and percussion in perfect harmony.

The sinuous silhouette of the prima ballerina graces the stage awaiting her cue to flow with the grace of spring water down a mountain side.

Trickling en pointe, the sound of her toe shoes echo silently in her head as the plaster withstands her weight. Poised in pillowed toes seemingly without effort, the satin clad foot rises with the right angle of knee coming to a degree. A pirouette...arm outstretched..the beauty of pearl glazed swan...

Behind the curtain movement occurs, yet she dances unknowingly as she does not see his masked beauty. A figure whose tights show his masculinity is pirate clad in black velvet casement and shoed in leather slippers. The ruffle of his white shirt escapes at his cuffs and collar.

Out of the curtain, he makes a gesture of want, yet she sees him not. Only the maestro can conduct the grace of her step. A mellow cascade of violins allow her to see him. Gallantly, he leaps forward before her...his arms extended. Curiously, she goes before him and extends her leg to his open arm. He lifts and spins her then draws her tight. With one hand, he takes her arm and extends it over her head, while her body follows the arch bending like a willow in the wind. As smooth as fine chocolate, he leans into her and draws her up again. Ah, beautifully conducted!
 ~ Arachne 2/6/07 this was penned before 3:00 p.m.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Sharing Info...US GOVT BEHIND FUTURE WORLD COLLAPSE

 As this stuff is old, some of the links may be broken.  Also, I would go insane LINKING those that do work.  If you are curious, look it up your own damn self.

Sharing some stuff I have been looking into:

MDAR http://www.loc.gov/catdir/mdar.htm ) Centian Robots - Armed autonomous robot (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=UTF-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=armed+autonomous+mobile+robot) (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=UTF-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=armed+autonomous+robot+weapons). Robot is Czech for forced labor. See Karel Capek (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=karel%20Capek). You can be replaced!

VX Nerve Agent (http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=vx+nerve+agent+liquid&rs=1&fr2=rs-top&ei=UTF-8&fr=slv8-msgr) (http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=vx+nerve+agent+hydrolysate&rs=2&fr2=rs-top&ei=UTF-8&fr=slv8-msgr) - Sarin - GB Agents. Brittan gave to US. 1961 - 1968 produced 4400 tons of VX 1969 - Nixon banned VX - chemical storage. Iraq may have produced ???? NAH!!!!!

CO2 in atmosphere - http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=atmospheric+co2&rs=1&fr2=rs-top&ei=UTF-8&fr=slv8-msgr
Bible code - http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=atmospheric+co2&rs=1&fr2=rs-top&ei=UTF-8&fr=slv8-msgr

Codes by aliens - http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=alien%20code.

Strip mining and the environmental impact. Allowed by government and little is done in way of fixing damage to earth...look at Vir http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=strip%20mining%20in%20virginia and Ken. http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=strip%20mining%20in%20kentucky

Lincoln County Wars...Regulators...Corruption in politics. http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=Lincoln%20county%20wars

Boulder City: Owe my soul to the company story??? http://www.november.org/razorwire/rzold/03/0302.html Worker pay is earned credits to be spent within the company. Sounds like serfdom. http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=serfdom%20in%20boulder%20city Check out serfdom in boulder. http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=unicor

Check out Jerry Miculek  the sharpshooter. - I could not find him on the internet. Good luck folks.

Vitamin Shoppe vitamins are contaminated by lead. (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=Vitamin%20Shoppe%20vitamins%20are%20contaminated%20by%20lead) Yummy Bear vitamins have too much vitamin A. (http://fitsugar.com/tags/vitamin+A) AARP had problem with vitamins and had a recall. At least they supposedly fessed up. (http://www.consumerlab.com/results/multivit.asp) This link is funny: (http://money.cnn.com/magazines/moneymag/moneymag_archive/1988/10/01/84702/index.htm)

Pot and the machine gun tax stamp. (http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=Pot+and+the+machine+gun+tax+stamp&fr=yie7c) ***Can't get stamp without having product, however, having the product is a violation of law. Stomped on constitution? Yeah and the was sucker was revoked. Why was pot really made illegal? Well, ummm it was growing wild! See the propaganda behind why it was made illegal. (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=Marijuana%20Tax%20Act%20of%201937) (http://www.onlinepot.org/ReeferMadness/mmjtaxactsession1.hm) Ah, look up Timothy Leary! (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=Timothy%20Leary)

Cigarettes and addiction - additives that cause cancer and addiction (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=Chemical%20additives%20to%20tobacco (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=surgeon%20general%20versus%20the%20tobacco%20industry)
Food - additives that cause cancer yet are approved by the FDA (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=food%20additives%20that%20cause%20cancer%20allowed%20by%20FDA) (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=food%20additives%20that%20cause%20cancer) ( - Aspertame, Splenda, flouride? (http://www.rense.com/general73/plug.htm) (http://www.rense.com/general73/plug.htm (http://z13.invisionfree.com/THE_UNHIVED_MIND/index.php?showtopic=10160) (http://www.consumerhealth.org/articles/display.cfm?ID=19990817225011) (http://www.newswithviews.com/Devvy/kidd102.htm) (http://www.newmediaexplorer.org/sepp/2006/12/30/fluoride_accumulates_in_pineal_gland.htm)

What about genetic engineering of animals, crops, and humans? How will or how has this affected us? (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=genetic%20engineering)
Does the government really look out for the average Joe or CORPORATION?

Germ Warfare (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=germ%20warfare) -

Synthetic disease - engineering of pandemic. (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=genetically%20alterted%20pandemic%20disease) Infectious diseases - long term incubation before symptoms occur - altered strains of hemoragic ebola (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=altered%20strains%20hermoagic%20ebola) - avian flu (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=genetically%20altered%20avian%20flu)- good old plague that cannot be helped with antibiotic? (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=genetically%20altered%20plague) Who is packing?

Gas mask and filters - UNCLESAMS.COM sells Israeli and Canadian gas masks without a filter in case  anyone is interested. At least that is what is for sale in the NEW YORK store.

http://www.unclesams.com/Computers - so reliant on computers to run our society that entire systems are run using them...i.e., water, electric, your MONEY...However, what if a hacker were to infiltrate the system of let's say the DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE using a wireless system and routing though another IP? (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=infiltration%20of%20national%20security%20via%20wireless%20router) (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=hacking%20via%20alternate%20IP%20address) (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=hacking%20via%20wireless%20remote%20server%20rerouted%20IP) (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=how%20to%20hack%20via%20rerouting)

(http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=Making%20your%20IP%20invisible%20or%20untrackable)TV - opto micro bionics (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=UTF-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=opto+micro+bionics+japan) (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=UTF-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=opto+micro+bionics+germany) - retinal microchip. http://www.mdsupport.org/library/chip.html Nano technology can even occur with paint.

Cerebral implants? (http://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=A0geuse4p8VFezMAgBJXNyoA?p=nano+technology+cerebral+implants&ei=UTF-8&fr=slv8-msgr&x=wrt)

How much of yesterday's fiction is today's fact? What can be imagined can be made real. If you can think it, it can be done.

The calcium bomb (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=Calcium%20bomb) - marriage between brain and technology. Biotechnology (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=biotechnology%20and%20adverse%20effects) - brain/machine interface a/k/a BMI (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=bRAIN%20machine%20interface) ...see Andrew Junker and brain fingers - reads alpha and beta waves to perform action. (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=andrew%20junker)Use of psychic ability by the GOVERNMENT using millions of taxpayer $$$. Thought projection. It does work by the way, however, the government disbanded the effort. (http://www.biomindsuperpowers.com/Pages/CIA-InitiatedRV.html)

These are just thrown in for good measure and a dose of WTF: (http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv8-msgr&p=governmental%20experimentation%20in%20thought%20projection (http://www.fas.org/irp/doddir/army/wht-ppr.htm) (http://www.fas.org/irp/doddir/army/wht-ppr.htm It is easy to point a finger at a man or government with the right propaganda. It is used by the major machine every day and yet not too many people put up a yip about it. Perhaps people have not looked deeply enough or long enough into the machine to see the defects. Do you see the writing on the wall yet? Huh? ~ Arachne 2/3/07 @ before 9:00 p.m.

Fantasy Piercing With Alternate Ending

Although she had wanted her hood pierced by her lover, her mention of it to him was only slight and in passing. However, he, being who he was, held that thought and sought to play with the idea.

It was a Wednesday evening and after some pleasurable lovemaking, he tells her to get dressed while he is picking out what she is to wear for the evening: a black velvet mini skirt, black velvet button down top, and black velvet stockings. His choice of shoes were her highest most uncomfortable shoes which would fit a bit more snugly on her foot because of the velvet stockings thus causing a bit more than the usual discomfort. As if picking out another item of clothing, he turns to her and tells her that she best hurry as she has an appointment with the piercer. Upon hearing the news, a twisted look plays upon her face as she had wanted him to do the deed. At once, she fills with excitement and fear upon thinking of the undertaking. In her mind she thought at least he would be there by her side to protect her and watch over her.

As they wait for a taxi, he tells her not to question anything that is to happen tonight and that she is to do whatever he tells her to do without question. She has always trusted him and has no reason to question his request even though his request seems almost foreign to her. Many questions are running though her head and the compulsion to ask is great, yet she holds her tongue out of great respect for his judgement. Apparently he knows something that she doesn't. Upon getting in the cab, he pulls out a black hood and places it over her head as he silently hands the directions to the cabdriver. Quietly, she sits and tries vainly to listen to her surroundings, however, the streets are relatively quieted by her exaggerated breathing, pounding heartbeat, and racing thoughts. She is lost in her own imagination as to what is going on and is not taking into account which way the cab is heading. After about 15 minutes, the cab pulls to a halt and he helps her out to the street. She hears the cab head out of range before he removes the hood.

The streets are quiet on this night as they walk through what would be considered an industrial neighborhood. The rain soaked streets add shine as the moon's fullness reflects its glow onto the lonely couple. Only the sound of her shoes can be heard in echos from the street and surrounding buildings as he walks the pavement like a cat in stealth while he holds her hand in silence.

As they approach the center of the block, he points to an unlit stairway whose bottom is hidden in the darkness below the ground. Still clinging to his hand she makes her way to the top step when he suddenly releases her hand and orders her to go in alone. A mild protest almost makes it out of her mouth when she suddenly remembers her agreement not to question him. However, he really can't expect her to reveal her private parts to a stranger without him present. He would not do that to her or would he?

Deciding to play it out, she moves carefully down the stairs hanging onto the small and seemingly fragile railing. Although the door was not seen from the street above, her eyes adjust to the darkness and she sees the black steel door in front of her which is void of bell or knob. She can make out that a lock is present although it is just a small silver slot where a skeleton key would be put. Not knowing what to do, she looks up the stairs and does not see him there looking down approvingly at her nor did she hear him walk away. At this point, she is unsure as to what to do. Should she try to gain entry into the parlor or should she go above ground and search him out? Once again, she remembers her agreement and knocks lightly on the door as it is almost immediately opened.

Standing before her in a dimly lit hall is a tall muscular man whose torso and upper limbs are covered in what seems to be an ink shirt. Her eyes have only seconds to drink up the initial view of his presence before he escorts her in to the inner sanctum. Allowing her to go first, he tells her to open the first door on her right and to wait there until she is called upon.

The room is a waiting room of sorts whose walls are adorned with pictures of custom tatt jobs as well as various forms of piercing. Normally she would have been curious to inspect the various forms present in detail, however, the discomfort of her shoes leads her to the sole chair in the room. Although she had been to various parlors for tatts and other piercings, this place was a bit different as she was the only one there and there was no piped in music or anything to distract her from her thoughts and at this point she had many. Although she had only seen the man for but a brief moment before she made her way in front of him in the hall, she saw that his face was stern and that he possessed various piercings himself: brow, lip, nose, ears, and nipples.

Making her way to the chair she was wondering where her lover had gone? Where was she? Who was going to pierce her and how would she feel about it? How was her lover going to know when she was finished? The questions were bouncing his her head while the dampness between her legs spread to complete wetness. As it was tradition for her not to wear panties, she had none on his night either, however, she felt more exposed here than anywhere else. She lowers her bottom to the chair and although the skirt keeps some of her bottom off the cold metal of the folding chair, she experiences a chill that quickly warms against her skin as the temperature rises to her face filling her cheeks with blush at her situation.

Her thoughts kept her from noticing that there is a closed door within the room as it is almost flush with the wall, but she could hear some activity come from within. That is the first thing to break the silence of her loud racing thoughts since she entered this domain. Now she thought upon the direct matter at hand as she would have to open herself up to a stranger exposing herself to him something that had been reserved only for her lover and she was not sure how this would actually play out as the idea was almost fantastic. Granted, a piercing only takes but a minute, however, the idea of displaying herself in such a private way to a stranger scared and excited her at the same time. She was not quite sure how she was going to handle the situation. On one hand she did not want to disappoint or fail to do as her lover requested then again she had so many reservations about keeping her body only for him and just him. He was acutely aware of her feelings of shyness so why would he place her in such a manner as to make her feel so awkward. Just as she was trying to come up with answers to her own questions, she heard a voice from behind the door telling her to "enter."

Slowly and teetering within her shoes, she walked over to the door and pushed it open as it too had no knob. The room was completely mirrored from ceiling to floor and within the center was a black leather chair typical of a piercing chair which faced the back wall, a stainless steel tray of instruments, and a small black leather stool with wheels which looked similar to those found in a doctor's examination room. For someone who did not want to be aware of herself, this room made it almost impossible for her not to see herself. Even looking down she could see up her own skirt which meant he could as well. Still in silence, he pointed to the main chair and coached her to sit. Upon sitting, she felt the coolness of the leather against her skin and the pounding of her heart in her head and throat. The silence was driving her mad, yet she did not have the courage to say a word. As if upon cue, the piercer said: "Your Sir has instructed me as to what he wants done. You are to do as I say and not question me." These words brought her heart into her mouth and she was almost choking on his advice. Nervously, she started to shake and at this point her thoughts were so great she could not think to form a full single thought accurately. ~ Arachne 1/19/07 @ 10:24 p.m.

Gearing up for his task, the piercer almost seems to ignore the fact that she is in the same room with him. He goes about organizing his tray, as she studiously watches him. She makes note that he has not even made eye contact with her since she first saw him. It is almost like he does not see her. Like she does not exist.

While these thoughts play in her mind, his doings play like a background program while her eyes watch him vacantly. Her realization that she is acknowledged comes very quick and much to her surprise as he walks along the side of the chair and touches something that makes the chair reel backward forcing her to stare at herself in the mirror above. She sees herself as what appears to be a display whose arms are stretched out over the arms of the chair looking like one with it except for the fact that her hands are gripping the chair to the point of bearing white knuckles. Her legs almost seem invisible as they dangle over the edge of the chair exposing her tightly closed upper thighs which are highly contrasted against the end of her black velvet stockings and the beginning of her black velvet skirt. Widely and wildly, her eyes stare at what seems like the target zone amply magnified via a compartmentalized section. Had her lover planned it out this way? Did he want her not to have anything else to see or think about? Did he want her specifically aware of a specific area of her body that now seemed to be growing larger by the minute?

Suddenly her thoughts were once again grounded to the event as she felt the piercer's gloved hands pull her down lower on the seat which in turn caused her skirt to rise making visible that which she hoped to conceal. The baldness of her mound was peaking out of the bottom of the skirt exposing her present piercings which now seemed larger than life and made her squirm uncomfortably in her chair. The thought of him knowing how wet she was would soon become very apparent as she could feel her juices leaking backward toward the crevice of her ass. ~ Arachne 1/20/07 @ 3:47 a.m.

Since her lover told her of her piercing appointment and gave his instructions, she had only heard the voice of the piercer twice and that was to tell her to "enter" and to obey the instructions that he would give her as they come from her "Sir." For the most part, she had been left in silence and her own thoughts for much of the night wondering about herself, her actions, reactions, and her feelings about the whole situation that she incited simply by stating what she wanted in passing.

Amazingly, she was still captured by her own thoughts and her reflection in the mirror above to notice that the piercer was now standing above her face and looking down at her. Although her heart felt like it was going to burst within her chest, she was quiet and looked up at him like a frightened animal weak and unknowing. His presence was now in her face and although his face appeared upside down, she was getting a real good look at him for the first time. To her, his expression seemed blank, yet something about his eyes gave a knowing glance that make her visibly shake. The eye contact continued for what seemed like an eternity and as much as she wanted to look away and break the stare, she could not. However, the stare was broken by a blindfold that he quickly applied and fastened tightly. Even though her hands released the chair for a brief moment as if to ward off the blinder, her will succumbed and she placed her hands back down on the arms of the chair and doubled her grip.

Now the power of sight was gone and all that was left were minute sounds and her excited and racing thoughts. At this point her heart was not only beating within her chest, throat, and temples, she could feel the throbbing between her legs as well. She was now soaked and could feel the wetness not only on her bottom, but on her legs as well. Her embarrassment was mounting becoming paramount along with her excitement.

As if not being able to see what she was exposing to him and what he was going to do to her was not enough, she felt a strap being placed around her forehead, however, it was not fastened on her. Rather it was fastened to the chair making her unable to lift her head. Once her head was made stationary, she felt a similar strap being applied to one of her writs and then to the other. Now, the only moveable parts of her were her supported hips and unsupported legs which still dangled over the edge of the chair.

Intense fear and equally intense sexual fantasy were working their magick within her mind playing out all kinds of scenarios as that is all she had left save for what she could hear over the thumping of her heart. Although she was still listening for his movements, the room suddenly became very quiet and sound was replaced with feeling: the feeling of his bare hands that were firmly gripping her legs.

Still tightly holding her thighs together, she could feel the muscles becoming sore from her efforts to keep them closed. Abandon was wanted, but she felt that she could not let go. Who was this man and what was he doing to her? Why did her lover leave her this way? Slowly, his hands slid along her inner thighs gently pushing her legs outward while making their way upward to push what little remained of the skirt out of the way. Now he would see the result of her excitement that she had been hiding between closed thighs and there was nothing she could really do about it. Even if she were to scream out, who would hear her in this area of town? It was not like she was in a populated area nor was she above ground. There was nothing she could do except let happen what was going to happen. She now felt the piercer's legs between hers, however, the velvet stockings kept her from knowing what he felt like. Slowly, his hands made their way upward feeling her body through her clothes until he reached her buttons.

By this time, she could not hold back what she had been suppressing. She could hear her breathing become quick and could feel her hips gyrating as if looking for him. By this time his hands were holding her bare breasts and tweaking her pierced nipples. Maybe it was her reaction to his advances that caused him to stop touching her, but it suddenly stopped as quickly as it had begun. She was still laying there legs spread on a wet seat breasts exposed and as horny as hell. If she could have reached to touch herself at this point, she would have brought herself to orgasm as she was on the verge anyway. One little touch is all she needed.

She heard what sounded like the tray being moved and could hear his activity around her. As to what would happen next, she knew not. However, it would not take long for her to find out. As if she were a rag doll, he simultaneously lifted her legs and placed them over her writs leaving her wide open to do as he wished. If she had to envision what she could not see, her mind's eye showed her that her pussy was swollen, wet, and open to him. Again he was between her legs only this time she could feel his bare skin against hers and the first pierce was about to begin. Before she had much time to think, his cock pierced her pussy and he was inside her, but not all the way. Regardless, she could feel the walls of her pussy contracting around his cock as she had her first climax.

His fingers were now readying her hood for piercing and just as the needle went through the skin so did he sink deeper within her and stayed deep within until he had fastened the ring. Once fastened, he starting fucking her as hard as he could. Her orgasms were coming one after the other and her wetness was now causing her bottom to slide around in the chair. His grip on her shoulders were digging deep within her flesh and his sweat was dropping onto her already sweaty bare flesh. She could hear him breathing heavier and feel him pumping faster as the tension was mounting in both their bodies and explosion was happening. She could feel his cock jerk inside her to mark that he had cum, however, her contractions were still trying to milk him dry. In addition, her hips were still gyrating as she so enjoyed the moment of it all.

Beneath the blindfold her eyes were closed and she was lost in an array of sexually deviant thoughts that this night had produced. The biggest question that was at the forefront of her mind was the question of her lover. Where was he and why did he do this? Just as the question had been posed within the framework of her mind, she felt the release of the blind, but did not open her eyes. The piercer was still inside her and she did not want to face him for reasons of her own. Upon hearing the words "thank you for trusting me," she opened her eyes and saw her lover. ~ Arachne 1/20/07 @ 7:10 p.m.

NOTE: It is truly amazing what suggestion can do and how the mind operates in conjuring images from the most simplistic thought. ~ Arachne

Listening to: Bogart! ~ Rock N' Roll Cabaret

Fantasy Piercing ALTERNATE ENDING Part 1

Usually, I can't live without Chapstick moisturizing my lips, but on this day the thought of the glossy wetness of my lips reminded me of the wetness of self. It would seem that I have gone into heat in the worst of ways. Normally, I am very sexual in nature, however, I am paying special attention to a repeating cycle. It would seem that this time of year places me in sexually higher gear. Now that I have established this fact, I would like to know why this occurs.

Lips: A rose opening in time lapse photography glistening with the moistness of a morning's dew. A woman's painted mouth glistening with crimson color of the unnatural kind made predominant by Revlon or Maybelline. The biting of one's own lips in the heat of passion made wet with saliva. Where does the beauty lie?

Thoughts behind the writing:

Imagine if you will the silence of my work environment as I block out the sound of the TV with my mind and focus on my fantasy. My pen moves across the page as images spill forth in my mind causing me to moan quietly as I close my eyes to feel the moment. Can anyone tell what is going on in my mind by the blush on my face or the tone in my voice? Does my pulse show in my neck or temples to give away the speed of my heart? No one can see me squirm in my seat as I write nor hear me vocalize my passion. However, it is being done. The gentle "hum" that I produce adds to my excitement and I can feel the wetness build as I take my journey.

Although this fantasy started sometime last week, pieces are being added to the original scenario that I painted in my mind while enjoying a nice warm shower. Actually, this morning's shower brought something to my attention that I had never noticed before. There is a redness about my body that goes from my head to my feet. The afterglow of the experience is visible in my cheeks, neck, and chest caused by the heat of the moment. However, the water burns going the length of my legs also bears witness to the experience. Each is formed differently, yet the color is the same.
The fuel is burning and the fire of imagination is endless and wonderful.

Fantasy Piercing: ALTERNATE ENDING Part 1:

Beneath the blindfold her eyes were closed and she was lost in an array of sexually deviant thoughts that this night had produced. The biggest question that was at the forefront of her mind was the question of her lover. Where was he and why did he do this? Just as the question had been posed within the framework of her mind, she felt the release of the blind, but did not open her eyes. The piercer was still inside her and she did not want to face him for reasons of her own. Upon hearing the words of her lover coming from behind the chair and feeling his hands upon her face, she looked up and saw him grinning down at her while the piercer was still inside her. His grin was a knowing grin one that could read the guilt all over her face. One that knew she enjoyed what she had been experiencing thus far and even if her words were to deny the fact, her physical aspects would have given her away. Surrender was her only real option and at this point as she was so well into it there was no turning back. With the piercer still inside her, he thrust his cock deep within her a few more times in a mocking fashion before pulling out of her well played pussy.

Her lover glanced at him as if to say job well done while at the same time he seemed to look around the room as though seeking approval for his own efforts. As her head and arms were not yet mobile, she could only see his reflection as it played out in the ceiling above her. Although she wanted to speak, to say something about the events that just occurred, silence fell upon her and she decided to submit to his will: whatever his will might be.

This night was not over as there was much more in store for his little lovely

So many fantasies had been uttered in bed as she visualized wilder possibilities. She had been feeding him her ideas for as long as she could remember, but she never imagined...

A seam had not been seen in the mirrored environment. The seam that suddenly opened and left a spot of blackness in the reflective wall. She could suddenly hear voices coming from the opening and looked up as if to ask her lover why. With a smirk, he glanced down at her while he released her restraints. Although she was in the process of being released, she did not move a muscle to either put her legs nor skirt down. It was as though she was still bound by him. When he had completed his task, he put her legs down off her arms and placed the chair in an upright position.

His silence was killing her, yet she still could not bring herself to say a word. In all reality, what could she say: what could she do. He had taken over her very being and she was now like clay in h is hands to be mold into a from he saw fit.

He walked over to the piercing tray and took a thick leather collar and placed it around her neck fastening it securely. Then he reached over and grabbed the leash which he would use to lead her into the darkness within the wall. During the course of their relationship, she had disclosed many fantasies to her lover yet, at the same token, she had expressed her fear of acting them out. It was like he was taking the responsibility of the action(s) upon himself leaving her without the guilt of actively participating. Her body was there, but her will was gone as she belonged to him.

After attaching the leash to the collar, he gave her a nod as if to say "come with me." She lifted herself off of the sex soaked chair with her stockings now half way down her calves and her top wide open, she followed him through the opening in the wall toward the voices. Surrounding the piercing room was antechamber whose walls were painted black and adorned with candle filled sconces that gave the hall a very erotic and gothic feel. The smell of incense and sex played heavily within her nostrils causing her to almost foam at the mouth. Upon entering this domain, she noticed that from this hall the entire piercing room could be seen via the two way mirror that engulfed it. Her heart was racing ahead of her noisy heels as they hit the tiled floor, yet above the sound of her steps she could hear the voices booming in her ears. Upon going a few feet into this realm, another sub-chamber was come upon within this subterranean parlor. As if upon cue, the voices ceased as she entered the mouth of the room.

From what her eyes could drink in, there were four five foot tall candelabra each with their own corner of the room. A blank zone existed where instruments of pain and pleasure hung on the wall. The audience left that area void of presence as if to say "look at what we have," however, the details could not be distinguished due to the camouflaged blend of black on black. The only hint of their existence was the little metal hooks that held them up. Those in attendance stood quietly along the wall and watched as her lover lead her into the center of the room. Gently he gave her leash a tug and pointed downward. Obediently, she got onto her knees and awaited his next command. The hardness of the floor caused great discomfort in her knees, yet she held her ground without complaint. Her lover suggestively pointed to his belt for her to undo it which she gladly did with nervous anticipation. Cautiously, she opened his belt and undid his zipper while she focused her attention on the bulge that waited beneath his clothes. She so wanted to taste him and she could feel the hunger grow within herself. The thought of an audience would have previously frightened her was now adding fuel to her burning desires. Stepping out of his pants, he pulled her head over to his hard cock. Although she longed take the length of his shaft with one mighty swoop, she awaited his advice as she adjusted her stance on the floor to make herself as effective as possible. She had to remember she had an audience now. One that not only saw her, but one that she could see. Several times she sought to bring her hands up to his body for both support and touch, but each time he made her place her arms back down at her sides. This awkward stance caused her great discomfort as she so tried to please him. As her body seemed in an almost unnatural state, all the work her mouth was doing on his cock was made possible by the agility of her body and head rocking. Skillfully, she was able to take the full length of his shaft as he so liked to be within her throat knowing that his cock cuts off her air supply for moments at a time. Her hard work was pleasing him which in turn pleased her.

The wetness that had soaked the piercing chair now ran down her legs and her excitement was growing. She longed to taste his cum in her mouth as she wanted the reward of her services as well his strong hands on her body.

Movement was starting to occur within the room as the faceless individuals started coming closer. While still giving him head she felt something stiff and leather rubbing her inner thigh and gently pushing her to open her legs. Whatever shame she had was left in the mirrored room. A room that allowed her to focus on her most private area: an area that she had only given to her lover. An area that was open for all to see as her lover gave her to the piercer and was now going to give her to others.

While still sucking on his cock, the leather object glided up and down her thighs occasionally stopping and touching upon her wet spot. Two individuals were coming toward her, and as they did, they dropped their robes. The two women stood along side of her lover and looked down upon her as she worked her mouth over his hot thick cock. She witnessed their hands going through the hair on his chest while they ground their naked flesh onto his. The idea of these women touching he lover was driving her wild and not in a bad way either. The view from her level sought even greater fantasies, but the evening was not over. Who could say what would happen. Her reward was about to be delivered to her she could feel his cock stiffen and swell even more than before just prior to his explosive orgasm in the back of her throat. Hungrily, she swallowed it and sought to be filled again. Like the Cheshire Cat, she sat back and grinned at him. ~ Arachne 2/3/07 @ before 9:00 p.m.

If this sucks, please let me know as I am talking out of my ass here. The ideas that bounced and played around in my head like a film were much better than I could write.

Friday, February 2, 2007

Hum...

It is interesting how people twist things so that they feel better about what they have done. Yet in the long run, they may realize what they have done and how they have wronged someone. In the end, everything comes out. Sure you can twist and hide things from others, but you can't hide them from yourself. Eventually, if you are honest with yourself, the face staring back in your mirror will say "what have I done?" The realization and words may come, but no one will hear it. ~ Arachne 2/2/07 @ 4:27 p.m.

Ah hem. Let me note this for the record: I am a scumbag, lowlife, con artist, and thief, but at least I know it and I can look at myself in the mirror. I don't worry about my reflection screaming back at me.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

A note to my daughter:

I do love you, however, I will not tolerate what is going on. Specifics need not be gone into, as you know the REAL deal. It has come to what it has come to, yet, still being true to form, I will not rub your nose in anything as it is not my style and you know that. Let sleeping dogs lie and the fleas will get to them. Silence is louder than words. Do you hear me? ~ Mom 2/1/07 @ 7:58 p.m.

*This was not mailed to my daughter. She is reading my blog, but she is blocked from contacting me.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The Future of Favors:

Perhaps I am too nice in some respects when it comes to friends and family. However, in the future, I will limit/cease from doing for others because it seems that the simple act of reciprocation and/or acknowledgment is not had. I don't mind going out of my way for someone, if the act can be acknowledged and/or reciprocated. Utilizing past track records of others, I will place restrictions on whom I will do for and on whom I will not do for. Perhaps I could bend a bit, however, participation and cooperation will be prerequisites to any undertaking. I will use the famous and familiar words that we all can relate to: "DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU." I will use my past experience(s) to base my future judgement(s). Enough said on that matter. ~ Maggie 1/28/07 @ 1:34 a.m.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

The Cut of Family Ties

As I so hate to deal with shit, I have disassociated myself from two closest family members (close in blood that is). My mother and daughter have gotten on my last nerve and now they can both go to hell and enjoy the ride. Today, when I told my daughter to lose my number, she remarked in a mocking manner: "You will be all alone." Shit! That is a laugh. I don't NEED anyone. It will be life as usual WITHOUT the added bullshit. To me that is seen as a benefit. My daughter has been deleted and blocked on every area of the internet and none of her calls will be answered. As for mommy dearest, she too, although not on the internet, is not having any calls returned, however, that has been an ongoing thing.

Don't get me wrong as I do love them, however, I don't need their judgmental shit in my face. Therefore, it is best that ties be severed. My daughter knows what an ICE PRINCESS I can be and how I can shut it all down. Well shut down is finished and so is the relationship. I will not buckle, however, I bet they do at some point. If not, oh well shit happens. C'est la vie! I truly don't give a rat's ass. ~ Maggie 1/25/07 @ 11:11 p.m.

Indifference

Realization starts in the pit of your stomach and works its way up to your brain. It is only upon thought and rational judgement that decisions can be made with justification. As such, this little spider has decided to chill in her web and wait for the cleansing of rain at dawn.

Detachment of attachment does serve a purpose from a psychological point of view especially when dealing with individuals not yet met. A bond of sorts can be had on various levels of interest, but the heart is another matter. Interest in a potential mate (a spark or ignition can be had, yet something can be missing from the equation) does not call for nor necessitate a buildup nor a release of emotions. This could be viewed as me being indifferent and I would say "quite right!" However, logic plays into this equation as the thought of attaching to someone/something that may not be or will not be could be harmful to the psyche if it is allowed to be. With the right mind set, one can be aloof and not allow for emotional involvement. This could be viewed as "safe mode" or it could be viewed as smart.

The road of falling for someone in cyberspace was had before and my heart was extended and handed back to me. That is fine in itself as it was a stepping stone of knowledge that lead me to where I am now. Thus, I am ever grateful for the lesson well learned. As stated on more than one occasion, all negative situations have positive attributes that can and will contribute to the fiber/fabric of the individual who has experienced the situation. ~ Maggie 1/25/07 @ 3:33 p.m.

Hopefully this weekend will find me with my bud(s) hanging and having a good time. Maybe next week I will contact my cousin Mikey and get the address of the guy who does custom tatts and treat myself to a work of art.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Arachnids: The Spider and The Scorpion

The black widow may weave webs in due course
And trap prey to feed upon, yet...
The scorpion had the ability to trap her
Although many battles were had
She was able to withstand him
Perhaps understand him
Can it be that the toxins that were shared between these two
Caused immunity from death on both parts?
Neither bearing poison to the other
But rather causing glorious intoxication?
If the battles could occur again,
venenum e venenum delectare
The Black Widow lurks in netherworlds, yet the trap is above board
The deceit of scorpion's tail, while behind him, also lies below
Put these two together and there will be a show ~ Maggie 1/23/07 @ 11:13 p.m.

*THIS WRITE IS ABOUT MAX (The Widow) AND DREW (The Scorpion).

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Murder in Progress - Behind the Scenes Thinking.

I have ideas for this story, but this is just what I have in my brain so far. What I am looking to figure out is how to commit a vicious murder that will be deemed an accident. Hum. What to do. It may come to me and then again it may not. I have an interesting poison technique, however, I don't know that it has been done before, so I will keep that to myself. Snicker.

Gliding silently down the 13 steps to avoid detection, she effortlessly opened the door and stepped out into the cool night air. Finally, she could breath deeply, as the monster who had for so long rendered her helpless was dead. She was dying inside and although she coped for many a long years, her preoccupation with his demise always played out in her mind. Often she wondered how she could get away with his murder. Plans were hatched and thought upon, but never played out as upon further inspection, a flaw in her device was found. How could she make it look like an accident when she so wanted to butcher him? To have him die without pain before her eyes would surely serve her no benefit as she sought revenge.

He was a tall burley man with a gristled look. His collection of swords, knives, and guns were beautifully mounted for all to see, however, rare occasion saw him utilize his intimidation methods on welcomed, but disliked guests. His sadistic nature was not limited to her. He sought out fear in all those that knew him, yet a refusal to attend a "bash" as he termed it, was never had. ~ Maggie 1/15/07
1/18/07 ~

Ok Rob this is the gist of it. A woman who has lived the life of a psychologically and physically battered woman decides that she wants to retaliate against her sadistic and overpowering husband. She decides to poison him with oleander via a cookout and will put the dried twigs, leaves, and petals in amongst the rest of the wood for the fire. The carbonized poison will attach itself onto the meat that he will eat and thus the meat will carry the poison.

Background on the man is above. He is an evil bastard who enjoys being sadistic towards everyone in his path. As everyone fears him even his supposed friends (employees) who he often enjoys tormenting with rounds of Russian roulette using live ammo, he holds their livelyhood over their heads as well as what he knows about them. He is a blackmailer amongst other things. He is their meal ticket thus they obey, but hate him.

His business: He is a contractor who has underworld connections. As he usually has others do his dirty work, his hands are clean (at least it is so believed) as there are no paper trails. Murder, blackmail, drugs, robbery, intimidation, and fraud are some of his sideline jobs. Call him a mastermind or puppet master.

She is a smart cookie who has done research based on his weaknesses. He is a meat lover and he has had a few heart attacks.

What better scenario could be cooked up than to have a cookout with all of his enemies present and accounted for. As she has seen over the course of time to make sure that he eats first, so it shall be that the king will be watched upon his throne as he gobbles the fowl or steak hungrily filling his gut while the poison attacks his system.

As she has had time to plot this scenario, she has laid the foundation of her cutting back on her intake of foods and the type of foods she eats. This would ward off suspicion, however, she would have a bit of the poison food as would everyone else. As she is the hostess with the mostest, she serves others with salad and soups first. With so many present who hate him, the web of who done it would widen. She does not tell anyone of her plot as loose lips sink ships.

The acquirement and keeping of the plants: Store bought years back cash payment and no cameras in the store. The plants were planted around their summer home and looked absolutely beautiful when in full foliage. All plants are hidden in plain sight. There is nothing like playing stupid and she is real good at looking like the fool. Her research was originally done years back when she was curious about different types of poisons and she did her research within library books and not on the net. She did not look up poisons per se as that is too obvious. However, a sweet view into encyclopedias did her a world of wonders. This little bit will ensure that there is no trace of her searching for poisons on the net. Even if you delete files on your computer, the ghosts of what has been deleted remains for the authorities.

Caution is used when breaking off and leaving the twigs around the grounds as all must appear natural. Her foots steps as well as his and the guests are all around the encampment. Prior prunings have been left on the ground to act as mulch as she had done for years. Whether it was good mulch or bad is not an issue as that is where dumb comes in handy. You may ask why not have a gardener for the grounds? Alas, this poor woman did not have a life and took to loving her blooming garden of device as she was a KEPT woman. Therefore, her actions would not seem out of the ordinary. Alas, patience is a virtue by which all women should live.

More to come as I feel inclined.

I need to work on how to get the twigs and other matter in without detection. Perhaps I can pull a Iago and have someone else gather it without their knowing. I'll work on that.

Additives for the character mixture:

Something in her character was twisted into being during her formative years wherein she felt that she was different from others. This was not just a matter of mental state as it was also a physical state. For the greater part of her life, she lived in a shroud and had to keep all that happened in her life to herself as though it was some deep dark secret that would destroy her. In essence she was right. What was showing on the outside was a docile, sweet, kind, and considerate woman. However, what was lurking beneath the surface was a cauldron that was boiling over with rage. The only thing that held the rage back was the purpose and the purpose was the big get even. This was a sure fire element to her plan as no one had seen her inner nature. It was not so much that she was deceptive as she was just being herself as she had always been seen. What lurked inside, she held close to her little black heart that drew upon all her past experiences to bring her to the point she was at.

When she met ? (I need a name), she saw an opposite reflection of herself within him and hoped that some of him would rub off on her. She saw strength and confidence in him that she could not find within herself. At least not yet. He was her protector, while at the same time he was her tormentor. This was not too far off from what she was used to in childhood so it felt safe. Perhaps that is what attracted her to ? (I still need a name).

If you have questions on this, it means I did not cover some ground. Hit me with them if you have them. No stone should be unturned. We are talking about murder here. A PERFECT MURDER which is well founded and thought upon. ~ Maggie