A Comment~

Message from the heart...yes. Tolerance indeed for what human does not have the capacity to anger or become violent. It is only within us that we may correct what we see as negatives. It is not for us to correct others. It is a choice that we make to be who we are. When positive energies reside next to the negative energies, the negative energies are overridden. Love is an interesting word, but how does one define it? What are its features and how do they come to be? Moreover, what is its base? ~ Maggie ~ June 25, 2009 during the daylight hours in EST

Ten reasons why men (or, if I were a guy: women) suck...

1 - What they say they don’t mean
2 - What they mean they don’t say
3 - Half the time they don’t know what they are talking about
4 - Half the time they are not talking
5 - When getting close, they run
6 - When running away, they try to get close
7 - Trying to have a conversation is like pulling teeth
8 - They just don’t understand women/men
9 - Hello hello hello is there anybody in there?  Just nod if you can hear me.  Is there anyone at home?
10 - They are so simplistic that they are complex

GIVE ME A FUCKING GUN!!!!

The name's Mags.  Like in wide tires peeling out on hot asphalt.  Get it? ~ Maggie 6/7/09 @ 9:57 p.m. EST

The Men in the Masks

Who is he who hides behind the mask?
Be he the angel of music?  The Phantom?
Ah, the Broadway play was spectacular!
He who so sought the love of Christine, but his face...
She could not see past his deformity
Whatever beauty he held while hidden
And what beauty he had given her
Was discarded for another
The Man in the Iron Mask
A twist of truth with fiction,
Was hidden by a black velvet mask
And was not hidden by choice
Were his looks offensive?
No one knows for sure
Yet hidden away was he
One rumor being such the twin of Louis XIV
Within the movie
Supposedly Philippe was the twin to Louis
And Louis being first born, was heir
Yet who bore more worth?  More beauty of manners?
Why Philippe did!
The two dramas regard the hiding of a face
Yet in a world where all bear their faces
The mask lies in the display of the persona ~ Maggie ~ June 7, 2009 @ 7:58 p.m.

Novem

Speakth thee of thy sense
Yet fear it not be vulgar to mine ear
For what is not heard speakth just as well
I ask thee for nothing save truth
Behold!
I shall not shatter like fine crystal
Yet the not knowing tears at fiber and thus leaves it bedraggled
All is good on the mend
O to darn again!
Speakth thee the words which thou know’st to be true
Me can’st force what well regarded words I would likest to hear
But I may beg of thee the words thou may think’st should cause me harm
Nay.  No harm shall come from truth
Tis far worse to be in vile defense of heart
Save for what purpose?
Love?
Ah, but no votive cast forth light leaving even shadows to dance
My words dent thee not
Regard!
Clock winds back
Forward to start
When November reigns
Alas we shall part
I know not when November comes
But see it upon the horizon
Pray thee well for the season anew
I bid thee glad tidings and the joys of life
As that is my love for thee
It shall not die with age ~ Maggie ~ June 3, 2009 @ 3:50 p.m. EST

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." -  Kahlil Gibran

Four Simple Words~ Never Posted

“I love you not” are just four simple words.  How hard is it to say these words?  Me thinks it would be fairly easy as they come easily to me.  Then again, to say I love you, has also come easily as well once over the spell of terming it the “L” word.  Why can’t the truth be told rather than letting it unfold via what is not read or what is read in various forms which lead to confusion and unsurety?  Then again comes a ponder.  What if nothing can be said?  Alas, what am I reading, not reading, or do not see?  What do I see?  I know not.  Complications.  How long shall I dither?                                           

Of splendid time in sharing nature was and will be well spent until spent of time.  I know not when it comes, but I see it forthcoming and I accept it fully.  Must I display the words in such form that head nods or verbal agreement is had?  Horses could be lead to water, but one cannot force them to drink.  In addition, one cannot beat a dead horse as it will not rise to take one hither.  It is not so much that I wish to hear these words, however, I prefer truth and accept it wholeheartedly with no ill will.  Isn’t that the essence of true love?  The season of change approaches. I will love you always even when we say goodbye.  "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." -  Kahlil Gibran ~ Maggie ~ June 3, 2009 @ 1:35 a.m. EST

Sweet November~NEVER POSTED

All things come full cycle and many cycles run at once.  However, one particular cycle has just about run its course and I do not see it changing in one direction or another.  A seasoned individual knows that seasons change.  Perhaps my gears need a nudge, but the time is not yet up.

November (novem) = 9.  You may see the eleventh month, but I don’t.  Actually, for me, all things come to change in September as that is my month for change.  It has always been so in the course of mine own history and thus shall be thus again. ~ Maggie ~ May 31, 2009

“How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.” - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

*Love.  A most interesting topic of discussion isn’t it?  What if one counted all the ways yet saw the season changing?  Seasons change don’t they?  Am I in season?  Yes.  And I am seasoned as well.  I won’t read things that are not there. ~ Maggie ~ May 24, 2009

* Although this is part of another piece of my literature, I have chosen not to post the full content.

Knocking...(NEVER POSTED)

A gentle tap upon you door is sometimes heard sometimes ignored
I understand
Time...
A thing that is fleeting when restricted
Communication...
Allows me to know you
But there is a wall
Why?
I want so bad to say what I wish, but I hold my tongue for your benefit.  The keys are now my instrument.  Sense is that of frustration.

Lost for words, but not.  How shall I put this?  With tongue held for benefit, my keys are free to evoke that which was shut.  My sense picked up hostility and frustration.  However, I question why?  The why is not for what I sense, but for what keeps you as thus.  I see you keeping yourself as thus.  Perhaps I am not for you and that is fine with me.


November... ~ Maggie ~ May 24, 2009 @ ??? distracted again

Where can I start? (NEVER POSTED)

Where can I start?  Perhaps it is best to note the first pondering of “who am I?”  Yes.  Regardless of my past, there was always a side of me that questioned “what is” and “what if.”  Thinking back, I recall writing my thoughts on paper in regard to “who am I?”  If memory serves me any merit, I was about 16 years old when the thought occurred to me.  Despite time, the concept stayed with me long after the paper disappeared.  Then again, it may be amongst my tons of papers.  Who knows.

The gist of my words were:  Who am I?  Am I who I am or am I who I appear to be to others?  I addressed masks and facets of self.  In the address I had also noted that it was my belief  that we are truly ourselves when alone as all the fragments come together, the masks are dropped, and thus in our solitude we are whole.  Who really knows who and what we are?  Based on observations, one could say so and so got to point B by coming from point A, however, is it really that linear?  No.  Only one person can know the full internal process(es) and that is the individual who experiences themself.  Acknowledgment.  Ah yes.  That wonderful word brought forward via introspection.  Can one really lie to themselves?  It is possible through rote to convince yourself that such and such happened or did not happen, but in all seriousness, who is really being fooled?

I chose to write about this today after discussing life with Stan.  The above was mentioned and then I questioned the matter of our universe and where it lies.  Based on thoughts of self, but not in a selfish way, I stated that the universe lies within us in various ways.  It is not just our minds which holds our data, but also within our very atomic structure.  We spoke of living in the dark, looking for the light, and blindness.  He too is aware of our energy and, for lack of a better word, metamorphosis.

For those of you who have read me, you may remember that I posted a blog relating to the meaning of life.  Although I cannot say I have an answer for you, I can say that I have an answer for me. ~ Maggie ~ May 24, 2009 @ ??? I got distracted.

The Cold~

I recognize the cold and its deliverance and its deliverance is not just to me.  Perhaps the person is just that way, yet I wonder how they got that way.  I have seen and felt such before, but the circumstances are different: the people are different.  In past case, it came from a history of such which was broken a generation ago.  It is not that the person did not feel, but the person, no matter what, could not speak it to anyone.   Past case was able to do, but not to say.  In present case, I am not sure of the capability of doing, however, I am aware of the not saying.

Perhaps the one who issues the cold does not see the delivery nor may they be aware of their own actions/inactions.  Invariably, there is a reason for the cold.  The icy stillness has to affect them inside in order to show on the surface.  The inside that is dark, cold, and alone or so it seems.  From my perspective, it seems that it is something that they don’t want to talk about or can’t.

An attentive person can read such patterns whereas an inattentive person will dismiss them or become angered by them.  Everyone has their closet and some, through time and experience, allow the contents to air so that they may be refreshed.  Then again, one would require recognition of such closet contents to be able to air them.  What happens if one recognizes it not and the monster continues its snore unabated?  Unrecognized?

Could it be that it is not so much that a void has to be filled?  I really don't know.  However, if I had to guess, I think it would be more at ridding oneself of baggage that has yet to be claimed. Yes.  Perhaps that is it.  ~ Maggie ~ May 9, 2009 @ 7:05 p.m. EST

ME~

Me look unto I as I do not recognize I.  Gaze.  Ah there!  Yes.  Beneath the curtain lies the being.

Screaming in silence is always the loudest and the echoes reverberate and can shake one to their core.  No one knows what veils one wears or why.  Smiles alight and show not what factors haunt.  Nonetheless, one screams until they cry and then tend to themselves quietly–kindly and lovingly.  Compartments are made for storage of such volumes which gather dust over time yet the compartment is never forgotten nor are the volumes that are stored within.  They serve as a reference point.  Refer back to chapter 26 in book 9 which is housed on self 8 in room 1.  Ah!  It says I lived! I now leave this volume to you. ~ Maggie ~ May 6, 2009 @ 6:38 p.m. EST 

Noise...

Shocked grass electric dance
Steps that appear and do not lead
Here nor there
Dots of light bounce
Each holding packets
Contents vast
Dots connect but are moving
Spilling contents while containing them
Colors, images, sound...

Sound...
While thinking, there is great noise.  Is thinking an intention on the part of the thinker?  What is the intention of an idea?  Where do supposed random thoughts/ideas come from?  What if the idea(s) as thought cannot be verified by any empirical method?  What if at this level it is just a time of gathering?  A harvest per se.  Silence screams loudly, but not as loudly as the noise.

Books calm the noise but create their own noise in the silence that seems to be only to others.  No one but me hears it.  The silence is only noted by me when I stop reading and take note that THAT sound has ceased and the great noise arises again.  Video to sleep drowns out the noise. ~ Maggie ~ May 4, 2009 @ 2:06 p.m. EST

This was sent to me by a friend from another site and I share it with you.  Of course I could not let well enough alone and had to look up the author.

I just want to share this with a very interesting individual. :)
And then a scholar said, "Speak of Talking."
And he answered, saying:
You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts;
And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart you live in your lips, and sound is a diversion and a pastime.
And in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered.
For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words many indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly.
There are those among you who seek the talkative through fear of being alone.
The silence of aloneness reveals to their eyes their naked selves and they would escape.
And there are those who talk, and without knowledge or forethought reveal a truth which they themselves do not understand.
And there are those who have the truth within them, but they tell it not in words.
In the bosom of such as these the spirit dwells in rhythmic silence.
When you meet your friend on the roadside or in the market place, let the spirit in you move your lips and direct your tongue.
Let the voice within your voice speak to the ear of his ear;
For his soul will keep the truth of your heart as the taste of the wine is remembered
When the color is forgotten and the vessel is no more. ~ Khalil Gibran

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khalil_Gibran

Untitled

spell be bound to alpha
bet
in omega shall it be set          
in words or verse of types of rhyme
to type away into a line
by a line what can it be
that makes “I” think that I “C”
what Roman numeral is cast to thee
no scent to linger eternally
for what is it the capitol seeks
when traders are traitors
naught is what it might be
if thou art open capitally
thee will drown in the sea
the weight of gold won’t set thee free ~ Maggie ~ April 26, 2009 in the p.m.

HYPERSPHERES?

I have not gotten very far in my book entitled HYPERSPACE by Michio Kaku.  It is not that I read slow, but more at I run what I see in my head.  When I got to the part about LIVING IN CURVED SPACE, Dr. Kaku states:

    If we look ahead, light will circle completely around the small perimeter of the hypersphere and return to our eyes.  Thus we will see someone standing in front of us with his back facing us, a person who is wearing the same clothes as we are.  We look disapprovingly at the unruly unkempt mass of hair on this person’s head, and then remember that we forgot to comb our hair that day.

     Is this person a fake image created by mirrors?

Not for anything, but mirrors lie and what you should see it the back of your head.  I have run this experiment in various ways and no matter how it is run, the image is not correct.  Let me first start by saying what you see in the mirror is backwards.  This is easy to see if you have wording on your shirt.  Why do you not appears as backwards as the words?  Now, if you create a non-mirror image of yourself, that too is not correct as when you go to touch dirt on your face or a mislaid strand of hair on your head with that view, you touch the wrong side.

Let's go one step further.  In natural mirror image when you raise your right hand you can touch your right hand and it will be equal even if wrong.  If another individual is in front of you, should they not act like a reflection?  However, when you both raise your right hands you will oppose each other.  Why can't we oppose self?

When two or more people looking in the mirror side by side or in back of one another, the image will be equal, but still backwards.  Why is it then when looking at another, you oppose them?  If you took a photo of yourself in non-mirror form and then went to shake your own hand, it would be wrong as your right hand would be seeking the shake of your left hand as the image is in negative form.  Where then is true self?  If another were to stand behind me or in front of me or even at my side, we would be equal and operating in the same manner and not be in opposition.  This is interesting is it not?

Based on this information, is Dr. Kaku talking about a “fake image created by mirrors?”  The images would also apply to "hyperdoughnut"  I ask because he states that this effect would occur in a hypersphere/hyperdoughnut.  Should I refer to my interest in round time? ~ Maggie ~ April 21, 2009 @ 3:23 p.m. EST

NOTE:  My photo album contains mirror experiments that were run several years ago.

ADDENDUM:  If you really want to see what you look like in true form, stand behind a forward image of yourself, however, the image must be a FILM NEGATIVE taken by any camera which produces a NEGATIVE. When you are looking through the back of your head, you see you correctly. Your right and left arms will perfectly match. A regular photo or painting of self will oppose self and it too will not be an accurate REFLECTION. If you stood in front of a photo of you, find your right arm and note the problem.  Now how do you see yourself?  You really can't.

A Story Or A Truth?

In the not too distant past (several years ago), I had been minding my own business within my own home when there came a knocking at my door.  The woman who stood before me was asking to speak to the owner of the store and house.  As the store was mine, and please do note the past tense, I was the owner.  However, at the time the woman came searching, the store she sought had not been in existence for a few years and the sign had long been discarded.  I told the woman that I was the owner of the store that is no longer in existence and that I am the owner of the house.  She told me that I was not and insisted that I tell her of the owner.  It should also be noted that the type of store I had is a dime a dozen store and so many more are in existence, why did she come looking for the naught?  Try as I might to convince the seeker that I was in fact the woman she sought, I could not do it.  Alas, a thought came upon me and I asked “Are you looking for a fat bitch?  Do come in as I would like to ask you if this is whom who seek.”  The woman did come in and did look at the photo whose head I had removed, but whose body lies on my fridge in remembrance.  She looked long and hard at it and another thought came upon me.  My I.D.s of then and now.  Upon the looking she seemed startled.  Granted I can’t quote her nor truly quote myself, but I can say that she stated that I altered myself into a different person that she would not have recognized and did not recognize.  She did recognize the woman whose ID I had and whose name is mine because we are one and the same.

She called her husband from the car and as they both approached my door, I asked them what do they know of zeros, circles, and eights.  Perhaps to anyone else entering my home the words might have rung as rather strange, but these individuals were content in my question.  He spoke more than she as we sipped our coffee.  He told me that our voices will be heard in space one hundred years from now.  He also mentioned that we are the cup and the contents (if speaking of the holy grail) and that the arch of the covenant box was empty.  We spoke of electric conduction as well.  As I am not religious, I did not take it as such nor did I feel he was bringing it forth as such.  Being that the whole situation of Doris and her husband coming to a place that no longer existed and to a woman who was not the same as last remembered was odd in itself.  Another thing he stated was that I should spread the word.  Mind you, I had been.  

On this night I truly questioned my sanity and called a friend in tears explaining what had happened.  What I have failed to mention here is that while I was sitting with them at the table I was also above and looking down at what seemed like a honeycomb whose activity seemed strange in the cell.  The cell were we sat was charged with light while the others were dim.  I was in two places at once.  I can’t even tell you what form I was.  To describe the way it appeared to me may seem odd, but what other way can I tell what I saw except to tell what I saw.  Perhaps now you can understand why I would question my own sanity at that point. 

You may wonder if I felt myself leave my body and I will tell you NO.  I was in both places.  My body was seated in a chair across from Doris’ husband and she was seated to my right.  When first I was above I saw the sitting of us as though I were on the ceiling.  However, I went higher to view in cell form this activity and how it looked from afar.  It was not an intentional move on my part, but this is what happened.

A similar experience happened when an angry man with guns told me how bad he was.  We altered our states and questioned the validity of what happened as it did not seem real to either one of us.  His name was Nicholas and I was at work when this happened. 

All this started because of incoming numbers several years ago.  What do you do when you really stink at math?  You play it out with your eyes open and question everything.  Now it does not seem odd to create and speak about it as best as I can to those who are open.  A few words on the wind brings forth conversation from real people in real life who are experiencing similar things.  If only I could with all I could muster bring to story or art the things that I see, but I could never do it justice nor might it be understood.

Why this is finally making it to virtual paper at this point is beyond me.  This is a TRUE STORY.   ~ Maggie ~ April 20, 2009 @ 9:40 p.m. EST

Tri monad neo eon/aeon

TRI to think MONAD in NEO ONE EON

Tri as eye mite smaller not aye bee
When an eon is not neon
How bright will we see?

Monad, Dyad, and Triad
Ogdoad Ad Infinitum
Ennead Ad Infinitum
Zero is not nothing but is Ad Infinitum at Uroboros

Imagine looking out into what is and upon a pondering it vanishes with thought.  What comes into focus in piecemeal form is that of visions overlaid on the here/now.  When reading things dealing with math, science, biology, et al, I often run experiments in my head and what I see is the making of my vision.  Focused are these that even if I could spill to you what I see, I could not do so in words.  I had once written about not needing bodies as we could produce via thought.  Mere meme replication which is capable of building itself within our world (the thinker) based on all previous knowledge be it personal experience and/or otherwise.  Maybe I am wrong, but what I see in simple form is that even upon a collision, something else arises.  Call it a phoenix if you will which exists in round time. ~ Maggie ~ April, 19, 2009 @ 10:37 p.m. EST

The first line was inspired by my friend Ryan. !Erauqs ton era ew.

SPRING to LIFE~

Ah!  The fresh night air as it hit my face.  I close my eyes to absorb.  The smoke billows upward like an ascending oblong cloud whose movement is refined to that of choreographed spiral steps in tune with the sparks.

The sparks, as they escape the main flame, intertwine to mime that of braided snakes making liquid way in lakes whose stones are but the stars.

Black is the blanket whose cover looms above holed with the rocks’ glimmer.  I did not spy the moon.

Hail to the awakening whose spirit sores upon the birth.  Smoke and fire are mere representations of the burning within of life and all that is.

Masterful is the art of becoming
Over and over again
New...
Where lies the dawn when the dawn is not what it seems?
Where is it that the wind blows and the ribbons fly to spin only to intertwine becoming one? ~ Maggie ~ Penned on 3/20/09 @ 7:35 p.m. EST

Having not spied the moon, I looked across the four corners searching it out only to find the hollow glow of fictitious lumination seeming like water drops on a solidly painted black water colored work.  Haze screaming in not so violet rays that decay transfer, but what if...

I am looking for the grandma--seeing the smoke and sparks ribbon their way up into the new night and I am thought of.  Yes.  A gift from a sweet woman arrives warm and with warmth of heart and contents.  Also too comes the gift of healing.  I can breath better and my mouth is not as taunt due to swelling.  To the left he drew it out and of the right he healed.

Speaking to the wind and calling to the moon...love is... ~ Maggie

Man Made~

Raindrops on concrete
Grass breaks through well fed
Sky glow radiates growth
Breaking and cracking that which keeps it covered
Not allowing for breath
MAN MADE!
The mother knows it is not of her doing
To cover the child so that the child is smothered and lifeless
Although small and seemingly insignificant
A blade of grass is mightier than concrete
Only man creates the lifeless
Where is our NATURE of honor or our HONOR of nature? ~ Maggie ~ Penned 3/20/09 in the p.m.

Mutoscope Girl~

See past me – see into me.  I am you and you are me.  We volley with story and each time we elaborate on the scene.  I don’t know the writer and he does not know me, but together we are creating.  Thus far from words a being of a deaf girl has sprung from the snapshots of an old flip card movie machine thereby leaving a glitch in the movement of the moving picture.  She now sits on his table asking for a name.  Within this photo the young lady grows younger.  How will she hear her name or come out of the confines of the card to be a real being breathing and touching–being touched by the life that someone gave to her.  No longer limited to the still stance within the shot nor does she have to wait for the movement of the machine’s crank by a stranger’s hand to flip the shots so that she rises from her sitting position.  What is in a name for this black and white creature who calls aloud–NAME ME!  I wonder if she has risen from her perch to move about freely and if so, has he seen her do so?  I see her clearly and see her perched, but perhaps he sees her other than I do.  After all, she sprung forward to him asking to see the future.  What can he tell her?  In a way we are breathing life into something/someone that wasn’t, but who now is.  She now asks questions. ~ Maggie ~ Penned March 3, 2009 @ 1:20 p.m. EST

 What is a Mutoscope

The Children~

I hear the dialogue of children gaily playing a storytelling game.  Each are discussing what they are and where they are going.  Many laughs are heard, but in the youth of the tone, I cannot say of what sex they are.  Perhaps it matters not.  Do I really need to know?  Not really.  I am so enjoying listening to them talk, laugh, and make noises to simulate a noise that cannot otherwise be made.  I see them rather like shadows than solidity amongst the tall grass.  Of their movement winding through the fabric of my mind they raise their arms upward as they weave along in the folly.  Do they know I watch them and hear them from this place?  Even though they are mostly shadows, the grass, sky, odd flowers, clouds, and the scent of the sweet summer breeze are vivid to my senses.  This strange movie like scene plays on almost beckoning me to come and join the fun.  How, pray tell, do I find my way to what seems so close and so real?  I am me watching them from here to elsewhere.  If the leap could be made into the grass' height where shadow children play, would another hear us and watch us while hoping to play along?  As there are only two at this moment, should I jump, how many will be playing when the sun finally sets?  Where shall the children call home? ~ Maggie ~ Penned March 3, 2009 @ 12:55 p.m. EST

Wandering The Night

In figment of imagination
Dark stark landscape lies before me
Showing its fog rising with the night
Moon-glow like a translucent disk suspended
Hazed over in head
Wondering endless meadows in endless towns
Seeking
The doors open and close as people peer into the night
Sensing...seeing a stranger amongst them
To none am I familiar
None are familiar to me
Casting my cloak tightly around me and
Holding steadfast to my hood
My feet embark onto cobblestones
Hearing my step, I note a city it would seem
Whose harbor grows dim
Candles on the small as dawn approaches
Looking east I catch a glimpse
As sky brightens with a cast ever so slightly of color
Yet the fog has not lifted its evening shroud
I know not where I go, but shall go whence I came
Returning to my starting spot
Alas, the sun must not find me
What seemed endless time in passing this night
Finds me back at base in an instant
Upon the rising of the sun
I am no longer in this space ~ Maggie ~ Penned March 3, 2009 @ 11:00 a.m. EST

Running....

Having read the book by Roger Penrose (The Emperor’s New Mind) and comprehending in abstraction, I see the abstract thoughts connecting the dots much like he noted and as I previously noted as well. Thoughts are immense and ideas can pop into being and thus become (manifest).

Not that long ago, but some time before reading this book, I had proposed on You Tube via a comment response on one of my videos that in order to relay certain ideas it would only be possible through direct mind transfer. Of course I do not speak of a digital chip or anything outside ourselves that is made by man to cause such a link to express what words cannot.

Yes, thoughts can defy words and language is problematic in that way. The abstract that branches forth would fill volumes and attention spans are short. What I speak of is not mind invasion by one to another, but more so an exchange made via free will of information through images of which can be shut down while being adjusted by the thinker and again opened for further share.

Linguistics can come into play if necessary, but at the mind level of abstract communication, words would lose much. Of course if discussion is sought based on the data, it would be great to HEAR the person’s voice. When clarity is not had for some reason, idea or perspective can once again be SHOWN via thought transfer.

Flash cards simply up for a moment in time
Held in mind suspended
Called upon – WAKE!
Rays of light beam to show the paths
Circled around you and each showing a direction
Choose based on what you see at the end
Note that each path has branches and thus forks out
Leaving way for many more decisions
Again circled showing the directions
However, go based on what you see at the end
Is there an end?
Per se you stop walking the path and stood in bare silence upon the ray
Is that in itself a conscious direction?
Did you not have to use your free will and conscious effort to stop, look, and ponder?
Should you choose to stay and/or ponder or just stay
Again I ask is this the end?
If you indeed say this is the end then what are you doing in the future?
Have you not arrived?
What now say you upon your arrival?
Is this the end or the beginning?
Do you see the circle once again? ~ Arachne ~ Penned March 1, 2009 @ 12:01 p.m. EST

8 Months Ago:

If we are capable of creating the infinite within our minds, would that not be our reality? If a brain were left suspended would it know time in the way we know it or would it envision time to be? In reading up on John Nash, he was off elsewhere in a schizophrenic state, but his mind was GENIUS. His reality was different. Therefore could it be said that those labeled insane see that which we do not and are more open to possibilities of other dimensions? You are pretty damned clear.

Can it be said that we do not see all that we should see because we have become too narrow in scope to see that which is unseen at present? Of course these are just ideas and I am bouncing them around on you. Thoughts of "what if" can be fun. Perhaps that's the child in me. If we asked every individual to define their reality, I think each would have a different view. What is a dream? Decartes thought about dreams and reality. How is one to decide which way to go? Cogito ergo sum, but...

Earlier cultures used their mind and projection for coming year based on past events. People were more in tune with the land, sky, and animals. Agreed, we need to turn back.

Do you think a collective consciousness presently exists? Do you think reverting back to hunter gatherer societies we would be better off socially and environmentally?

If someone is in tune with nature, would that someone want to manipulate it or be in harmony with it?

Primitivism could work as it worked to create us. Wouldn't it be great to learn of all past cultures and history as it is all ours? Are we indeed separated people who are affiliated to nations, races, sexes, or other groups?

If living in TRUE harmony with nature, would it then be necessary to manipulate it? Why alter perfection? What would be the basis for manipulation?

All things are possible, but it is the probability that needs to be examined. Primitivism is going back to hunter/gatherer. Large homes are not needed and neither is our communication methods as it drives people farther apart than closer together. Even those living in close proximity have an easier time with techno communication rather than face to face. Are we losing something in the process? I would say yes.

As primitivism worked for our ancestors, why would it not work again. Would it not be a more natural process than what we have now? What is "mature communism?"

The brain is strictly physical, however, how does one quantify thought? If the brain were suspended or let's get rid of the brain all together. What if thoughts could be suspended what would reality then consist of? Would it not be a world of our own making? In effect would we not be gods? A brain is only aware of space and time based on observation. If it could not be measured with the senses, would one know the difference? So a schizophrenic's reality is in fact real to them?

Suspend would be maintain thought without a body or perhaps without a brain as the brain itself is organic.

What do I define as real or unreal? That matter would be subjective now wouldn't it.

If what the imagination holds can only be held by self, how would you quantify it? Would it be yours alone or would you use a meme process to generate the idea?

What is the essence and what makes it eternal? I am not being sarcastic as I am enjoying this rely of ideas. I thank you.

Wouldn't essence be our energy? Matter and energy work in harmony within our bodies, but organic matter can decay and the atoms will scatter to create something else. Can our essence decay being that it is electric? Ergo, the eternal/electric is in a constant state of motion. Is it not immortal?

In regard to schizophrenics, their reality is as real to them as ours is to us. Perhaps we are the ones who are not thinking correctly as our minds are fused. What is delusion? Who can say if so called mental illness is really an illness and not another type of being? Why are labels so easily applied and removed at the will of the ruling class? Homosexuality is not an illness nor is BD&SM if one likes it. To regard preference or difference of perceptions as an illness is ill advised.

Why would homosexuality make existence hard at times? Can't two people love one another as they choose? What is diseased and what is perfection?

Based on you statement about delusion, would you say it is a bad thing?

If a group within species is meant to be extinct because it does not reproduce, then that is the natural order. What does not work, ceases to be. The natural order would be a weeding process and no more would be reproduced.

When going the speed of light what time would it be? The brain is also bound by our cranium for protection. However, our thoughts...what about our thoughts? They defy space and time.

Open-mindedness is grand as one can seek out possibilities. One moment is not the same as the last and that goes unrecognized. Being aware of all that is leaves one open to all possibilities. In looking into history, the ideas from centuries ago have become reality today. Someone envisioned it so and thus it came to be. We can do the same, however, would we want more progress as is seen or would we want another level of existence?

Can it then be said that all is virtual?

By virtual I mean that if you looked at a needle or pin microscopically, it is not a point as a true point is virtual as is a line virtually straight and a circle is virtually round.

In regard to virtual, I am referring to the point itself. Under a microscope not too highly magnified, the point is not a point. It is flat. Therefore, the point is only virtual and not real. We cannot see with the naked eye how blunt the instrument is.

I do not believe we simply end. I believe we morph both organically and electronically. The body is organic, but what makes the body work is the electrical impulses within the brain. Can our electric run out or does it escape? What if you were to jar electricity. If you were to break the jar, where would the current go?

"DIE" is a word that bears different meaning to different people. Some think they will lay in the grave until the second coming or will go straight to heaven.

As we are a part of nature and it is a part of us, I believe that we revert back to nature in both organic and electric.

I would like a more expanded version of the "I" and its relation to the eternal.

You are a smart cookie! What would happen if a mutant gene were to enter the gene pool and ALL were born deaf, mute, and blind? How would communication be had? Even if ONE person could read brail and talk, who could hear him/her? How then would communication occur?

People die anyway. It would take a great deal of time for the mutant gene to effect everyone, however, would that not leave the intuition sense more open? Could communication be had through thought? If collectively conscious, mind could relate to mind and pass ideas. When you think do you hear yourself do so?

Intuition is a feeling. You just know what to do. It is a gut instinct that is not based on prior knowledge.

My happiness depends on no such thing. I simply stated ideas. The idea is based on what I see in nature. Is the MIND physical or is the BRAIN physical? MIND is thought and it would be difficult to quantify thoughts.

I don't believe we die in the traditional sense that we cease to be as NOTHING.

Rephrased: How is MIND/THOUGHT quantified? I do not refer to IQ tests either. How can thought be matter? Isn't matter a physical substance? Yes it is. Therefore the mind NOT the brain is something that can't be touched. You could destroy sections of the brain of a live individual, but the individual would still have a mind. Electroencephalography can record electrical activity of the brain. Therefore, can we possibly transmit our waves like those of radio or t.v. waves? Just an idea.

I think we are not understanding each other. Thoughts are quite complex therefore how would you quantify it? Tell me how you would measure 1 year of experience of ONE individual. If you understand how a database works, think of an apple for instance and then branch off on that simple thought can you hold it or measure the amount of ideas associated to it? What makes up the parts of thought on the apple? Can you see them?

Thoughts/ideas are complex and unlimited. What is contained in our mind cannot be held in the physical form as it is virtual. CPUs have terabits now, but the storage capacity is nowhere near ours. Imagine how much you store in 1 month? What about the thoughts, ideas, and memories for a lifetime? How does one measure the thoughts?

Comprehension would build thought and not erase it. If we eliminate autism and focus on what we can comprehend wouldn't that be a building block for further development? I think it would. See if you can not think even for 1 sec. In that second would be thinking I won't think for a second. lol

Is it reasonable to say that we may not know a person's thoughts (all of them), however, it would be possible to connect and understand based on commonalities? Would it then be possible to predict action based on your own thought? Of course a few go rounds may be needed to create a probability ratio.

No I would not see you as a fish, but would my sense of vision convince your sense of thought? That reminds me of something I used to do (yes as a full grown woman). I would close my eyes and say to my friend Bobby "I am invisible because I don't see you." He would laugh as he would see me with my eyes closed. In my mind, I was not there despite hearing him laugh.

A blockage of such can occur when noise is common. For instance, those who live beside a train will stop hearing it after awhile, but those visiting will notice it a great deal.

We see aye to aye. LOL

She:kon~ It is the self which is without color: it is the self that lies beneath the skin. If we look closely at humans and their components, we will find that we are of the earth and thus brothers and sisters. Depth is just a perception. Nia:wa ko:wa kid!

From my understanding we only use 10% of our brain's capacity. Imagine if you will the release of the 90% that we do not use. Those who are not capable of comprehending may cease to exist as that would be an evolutionary process of selection. I seek to see what lies past the scope of the naked eye. I want to see the real reality that is locked out at this moment in time. To some it would be considered surreal. I have written something in regard to this matter and I will forward it to you.

Agree with body and surroundings. The physical body would not have to alter nature, the physical body would have to alter itself through adaptation or evolution. It may still be necessary to dress according to climate. One would not walk around in a fur if hot out and one would not be naked in the cold. If two individuals and switched their environments such as an Eskimo moving to South America and a South American moving to the Arctic you they would have to become acclimated.

Please explain how thoughts are physical? Also explain how without time one would not have thought. What does one have to do with the other? If we experienced a big crunch at this moment in TIME, rather than the big bang that we experienced in the past, would time still exist? Also, where would our electric/thoughts go? Would it/we be in the antiverse?

Do you really think that we went from primitivism to capitalism? I agree with you in regard to the conquest of Europe by Romans and religion. Global anarchy would be ideal, however, we would have to agree to stay in a constant state of anarchism or to create a new system without money, religion, and concrete. I just threw that in for good measure. lol

Change yes. A constant state of motion is energy and even the stars and galaxies experience it just as we do. The combinations and possibilities are endless. That is part of the beauty of life. We are as eternal as all things even if in the negative. PEACE MAN! You make me use my noodle.

We are just having a rap session. Imagine what goes on in a genius' head? Gee, I would love to be inside that cranium watching their neurotransmitters go off. I am geek. lol

Rid one's self of thought? Ideas are thought so your statement does not seem valid. Even using one's will requires thought. The things that do not require thought are autonomic. You mention "seeing" and "new idea being planted. These are things that do require thought. If you can prove otherwise, I would love to hear of it.

I understand that reality is what the observer perceives. However, if not observed then what? When observed waves are particles, when not they are waves.

Can you be sure there is not anti-verse? As Stephen Hawkins explained, you would not know the difference as anti- would then be called uni.

Me thinks you should explore T-symmetry. A big crunch is exactly the opposite of a big bang.

Stephen Hawkins did say that. I am really not thinking of us as going from old to young and then out of existence or from broken to fixed. I made a thought error. If the universe were to contract instead of expand, were would we go and how would we go? Would we too be altered in some manner? I bet your imagination could think up wild dimensions if you thought about it. :-)

The cells in your body would have reason for adaption. It is called survival. However, it would not be reason such as thought that would make it so. The mind can create glorious things from scratch with a good imagination. Can you explain "genetically modify things..." What do you mean?



If you could, please explain in abstract what consciousness is. Do you believe it to be linear? Why language change? Do we not transfer information at will and is it not understood for the most part? Would only a fool not ask to understand if comprehension is not rightly had? Would they then in effect be a "yes" person with no clue?


The universe is still expanding. However, it is entropic. Is the universe in fact chaotic now? If thought is a creation, who is to say that it can be lost to time and space as thoughts without real sense receptors would not know time or space.

A head injury should not change who you are. I am glad you still have the same spirit. There was a woman who was used as an experiment at The Allen Memorial Hospital by Dr. Donald Ewen Cameron and her memories were erased. However, upon release she was still herself even without the memories. She was part of the MK-ULTRA experiments. It is great that we do not in fact lose ourselves even when erased.

1 Month Ago:

Why can't you explain what you think? Is it because in a way it is abstract and perhaps defies words? What if we were to transfer information via thought? There are many ideas that I have in my head only I can't seem to draw them out and the only way I could possibly share the information is for someone to plug into me to see what I see in my head. Sure I can explain in my language to the best of my ability, but much is lost as there are no words for some of what I think and visualize.

Have all done so? What about 3rd world countries? Do we all read the same twist on history? Have we all been affected by it? I think we have. Do you think we can change our conditions within self?

What if you can't see and are deaf. How would you then form a thought? Would you in fact still form thoughts? What would those thoughts be like and how would they be explained to someone who is not in the same sensory shoes?

3 Months Ago:

Could the wrongs be a result of negative thinking? Why would machines need to be incorporated with organic matter such as brain? However, the brain is just the organic house of electric thought. Can one quantify every thought? Are thoughts random or is that what we are led to believe? A problem is solved via thinking so effect is made. Is the effort and effect then random or planned? The computer is programmed and is limited. We can crack our own program and be unlimited if we wish.

IQ tests are skewed to specific areas of knowledge. Many can conceptualize beyond the test limitations. Therefore, would those IQs be an accurate form of representation for those who lack education, yet have understanding? Can you know with utmost certainty what someone is going to say as each is an individual with individual ideas and perceptions. Should that be dismissed? What of those with high IQ ratings, how would they fare in street smarts of which they are not accustomed? Ratio?

What would suppress your mind? Do we not have control over our own minds and are we not aware that what chains we bear are of our own making? How can thinking too hard cause death? What is a wrong thought in your opinion? Who causes/allows depression and who cures it? Introspection using total and absolute truth will free all chains and allow one to see the core of self both in yin/yang. Joy comes from understanding who you are and your relationship to all that is.

That would depend on the thinker and their ability to convert negative situations to positive ones. We learn through experience and at times the experience can seem harsh, however, it will later present itself as a stone within the foundation of knowledge and strength IF one allows for the recognition of the lesson learned.

Body builders and brain activity...hum. HA HA HA! I am stereotyping and that is not good. Who is to say that ALL body builders do not think or exert their imagination?

1 Month Ago:

You get it don't you? It lies in the place where words alone are not enough. One would have to have the ability to transfer mind images that cannot be adequately written in literal form although it can be transmitted rather figuratively with diagrams and picturesque images painted for the viewer with somewhat understandable words and or sounds. LOL Thanks for the comment. Peace out. :-)

2 Weeks Ago:

It is easier for people to be told what to do than for them to think for themselves. Would you agree? I do enjoy using my MIND as the mind is not really the matter such as the grey and white of brain matter. A brain can be weighed, but how would one QUANTIFY the amount of thought(s) or memories we have? Whoot!

Run this little experiment in your head/paper to semi-see your thought process. Think of 1 thing and then write down all the things associated with that 1 thing or how you got to that one thought. As you are associating, see how many branches each bring you. If you include body function used while you think, account for those too as the mind gets you there. Do you have a large sheet of paper? Thoughts are electric. Can the processes be weighed or quantified in reality?

You would probably find the end in an abstract way within your mind, but perhaps not on paper. The senses feed the brain information via signals, but the mind creates the interpretation as all comes in degrees and our perception of the degree with vary from that of another. We could always TELL another what it is and stop them from thinking. LOL Are we doing them a favor?

Do you really think that we do not confront dissonance? What makes it a cold system? What chemicals do you refer to? Does a thinker think about consequences/benefits in abstract mode running all possible scenarios based on present/prior knowledge? Do you think laws of probability are used?

Do the pious or racists use reason or are they PROGRAMMED? Do they understand what they defend? We are built like machines, but at the same time our mind directs us and that is not something a REAL machine can accomplish with understanding. I now understand the chemicals you mean. Do you know how to adjust moods? Abstract is non linear thought. Good go on LoP.

1 Week Ago:

Do you have any idea as to why they think/behave as they do? What purpose does it serve? All things serve a purpose in one form or another. Mood adjustment in regard to depression of which I used to suffer in clinical form for years can be discarded by thinking alternatively and adjusting behavior patterns. You would be surprised what you can do with yourself. LOL


There is a little trick that I failed to mention. You will need to face all your inner demons in order to understand how they came to be. Once you know, you have a key for the next door...it is called the changing closet where you morph into the person you want to be INSIDE as well as OUTSIDE. It is not easy, but it can be done.

An inner demon does not have to be a literal demon, but it is something with you that you have not come to terms with yet. That does contribute to depression. You can be god. You have the power to create and destroy. The choice is yours and the paths are as infinite or as finite as you make them. We are our own gods.

2 Weeks Ago:

I am reading a book by Roger Penrose called the Emperor's New Mind and in it, he too states that computers can't and will not be able to think as we do because we UNDERSTAND what we think and if we don't understand, we have the capacity to understand. A program is only as good as the programmer. If you did the little experiment, can you imagine trying to program a machine to do what you did?

Pandora’s Box

What is in a name? Ah, Pandora! Peter Peaches had so kindly given me this name sometime back, and perhaps he was onto something he saw in the future. There is something about Greeks and me. Hum. He once asked me if I would teach someone something that we were discussing. The question was geared at getting what I wanted by creating it myself to my own liking. At the time the thought had not entered my mind and upon contemplation the idea seemed ludicrous. Today I do not believe it to be so.

Perhaps I have not taught per se, but it might be perchance that a slight molding might have been done or some cat was loosened slightly out of its bag. In hindsight, his craft of word may have planted a seed indeed as the conversation is readily memorable. When next he and I speak, I shall state that the name was finally accepted by me on February 21st in the wee hours of the morning. I called it upon myself aloud and thus it became me in the becoming. Thank you Peaches!

I do remember a discussion with Deej in regard to restraints that I had placed on myself and why they were placed. Actually, I still have my words of the conversation with her that note my frustration. Thank you Deej for allowing me to vent my feelings.

Hail! The box has been opened just a wee crack, but me thinks it is enough to fling it wide open and throw it to the floor. Circumstances can align like perfectly placed dominos. In the precision of placement it would only take one strike to make them all fall down.

Will Sunday afternoon find me with lobster tails or filet mignon sporting some Kolinsky sable brushes from British Blueprint? I have yet to decide what is on the menu and where I shall spend my time. Alas, decisions.

In the wheel of life the possibilities and probabilities are endless if you deem them so. One just needs to deem them so. ~ Maggie ~ February 26, 2009 @ 2:00 a.m. EST

Where lies the idiom?

Oh what tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive. ~ Sir Walter Scott

Where lies the ayes that see
In state of grace's writing
But for worth of dual?
Truth be told,
Glance me once I feel...
Naught, but aye!
When expressions go unsupported
Words resorted and distorted lie low
Lo!  Recognition my cognition!
I glance per chance to see
Patterns!
When a set does not quite match
Of the mouth or hand dost hatch
What lies a trap might snatch
When all is watched as a batch
Perhaps it thought I should not catch
On the surface without a scratch!
Ten point demerit for the lash
Do I think there was a clash?
Perhaps I did jump up to bash
Balderdash!
When once swinging from a sash
The hangman’s noose is but a dash
From things I hold within my cache
The spider’s meal of meat is hash
Of a potato I did smash/mash ~  Maggie ~ February 25, 2009 @ 6:44 p.m. EST

Sometimes there is an art to it.  Sometimes there is not. The dark side will always be within me as it is within YOU. YOU being whomever reads this. To deny a dark half is to deny truth. Light and dark co-exist. To know one is to know the other.  To deny is to lie.

Reflection...A dialogue in fiction~

I did love you, but alas I am now but a reflection of you.  The image (behavior) you have shown me is now MINE.  I claim it in words and deeds.  What matter would it be if the mirror reflected back to you what you portray?  Should the image looking back at you be more than what you yourself contain?  Me thinks not.  Granted, there are mirrors that reflect back greater than what is and that is rewarding and inflating to you is it not?  However, how pretentious is it?  In the end, what is gained in the reality of it all?  Might I say that fools CHOOSE not to see reality and I am no fool.

Is there anything lost?  Am I losing anything?  NO.  What was given was given freely of my free will.  I only rescind what is in my power and right to rescind.  Adjustments have been made along the way in this learning experience, but in truth I saw the light from the start in the form of “warning” signs.  My journal verifies all as does the analysis.  In my free will, the blind eye (which is not really blind, but was more at feeling things out) is open and has spoken.  In my focus, I stated TRUTH and only truth.  When a behavior is detrimental, change the behavior pattern.  When a behavior goes unrewarded, cease the behavior.  Why be self defeating?  It is dumb to be so.  Adaption and/or self-modification are handy tools in this lovely game of life.

Over all, at least I can say “I care” for you just as much as you care for me.  As only you know how much you care for me, you now have a gage in which to assume my care.  Rest assured that I will equal you.  That being said, have you lost anything? 

In the end, all things being equal, you will have to live with the reflection in the mirror and the true reflection is that of SELF when looking past the image.  Images are illusions and that is my firm belief as what lies without is not necessarily what lies within.  ~ Maggie ~ February 16. 2009 @ 8:07 p.m. EST.

To Someone I Love~

At times I can be difficult and almost come off as some cold hearted bitch. Okay. It is not almost come off as, but do come off as a cold hearted bitch. For that I apologize. However, you know me and you know that I love you no matter how I “behave.” Not ALL my behavior is indicative of my feelings.

I have not been a good mother, but I hope you will be. I know you will be. Silly me with my thought was thinking...I hope she drags the kid up rather than raises it. You may say WTF to that too or ask what is the difference. The difference is in that the child who is dragged up will learn to fend for itself and will not depend on you. That does not mean that you will not love it and it will not love you. Again, behavior is not always reflective of feeling. I can’t tell you what is involved in raising a kid as I don’t know. Then again, I think about those that were supposedly raised and those that were dragged and if you ask me, they are all mental. Perhaps the difference that I see is the crippling or inability. The “I can’t do it myself.” No. I don’t speak of that which cannot be done due to the illness or weakness of your body. Then again, even in the weakness of body, one who is crippled, will push themselves to the limits. At this point, I do not suggest that you do that. On the contrary. Chill.

Today you said to me, that one day I will need you to help me. I will not let that day come as it is not for you to help me. It is for me to help myself and let you live your life without such an obligation. Perhaps you can understand why I do not want you to have the burden of my remains upon my death. I am not your responsibility. Let the ghouls do without the $$$ and donate me to medical science where I may do some good.

Perhaps you will question your own feelings and wonder when the time comes. Perhaps upon presentation to you, you will be like WTF? Oh, but it is mine! All mine! Yeah it will be. However, the bond will take time. You won’t know how you will feel until it happens. Perhaps you won’t feel as I did.

Consider this: What happens when you hold the strings too tight? What happens if you hold the strings too loose? What happens if you don’t hold the strings at all, but another does?

Often I wonder who you would have been had I had you to myself without interference. Often I wonder who I would have been had there been no interference. It is hard to say.

The one thing I can say, that I may not always show, is the fact that I love you.

I never made it easy for you nor did I ever behave in a loving and kind fashion. Perhaps the pictures that you shared of me sporting a Hitler mustache was very appropriate. I can’t say that I look like him, but I sure as hell acted like him when it came to academics. Let’s call Laura and she can tell me about it while you laugh out loud.

You will be fine my love and you will live long and prosper with your son. That is my wish as it is your wish. I shall not allow negative information to bust that which I believe. You too should know in your heart of hearts that you are strong and will not leave without a fight. Fight with all you have as there will be someone new in this world who will want to know you and love you despite your flaws. He will see them, but out of love, he will look past them. You too see my flaws and note them accordingly to which I more or less agree. Despite this fact, you too love me. The same will happen to you when it is your time. To your son, you will be everything. To me, you are everything. We are UNCONDITIONAL come hell or high water we belong to each other.

You, my dear, are the courageous one who risks it all for the sake of your belief. To that, nothing could be more admirable.

You will always be my baby no matter how old you get. Remember that. ~ mom ~ February 12, 2009

Morph...

What shall I be today?  A bumble bee?  A teacher? A weeping willow tree?  What if I was just a spider?

Sitting in traffic, my little buddy talked about flying out of the traffic like a super hero which is a grand idea as we would travel fast.  However, I had suggested that if we could put our arms out of the window and have the right aerodynamic shape and strength, we could lift off with the car.  This brought us into another discussion.

Ah, the conversation with my young friend was interesting as we discussed molecular transfer from point A to B with a glitch.  We imagined a transfer pod like that on “Star Trek” with a glitch similar to that of “The Fly.”  This is where our imagination differed from those stories.  Much like the transporter in “Star Trek,” a being (one of us) could be molecularly broken down and transferred to another place and, much like “The Fly,” something else would go along in the breakdown.  The question brought forth stories as the to the end product of molecular bonding with that of another specie.  However,  UNLIKE “The Fly,” the molecular bonding result would be an immediate metamorphoses.

He asked me what I would want to transfer with to become a part of and I told him a spider.  Although this was detailed out in discussion, I won’t do that here.  My little buddy is a curious child who reads and asks questions.  He also has a good imagination.  Before dropping him off, I told him that he is special in that he thinks about many things where as many children do not.  He was told that what he possesses is a great quality and that he should always feed that quality with more information to grow on.  In my heart of hearts, I believe that he will feed his mind well. ~ Maggie ~ February 7, 2009 @ 9:40 p.m. EST

It is hoped that I can share my encyclopedias with him as well as many books that he may find interesting.  Where one has interest, one will gather information with ease.  Thanks goes to my friend Angel for letting me borrow her son for a few hours. Also, my thanks goes out to Tyson for providing such great company via his insightful and witty conversation.

REAL LOVE...

My friend from Germany is someone I love with a full heart because of his being.  He can bring forth tears and pondering with mere words.  The tears are not of hurt: they are tears of joy or acknowledgment from literature or communication.  It is free flowing emotion on both ends.  My friend understands distance and lack of communication YET we communicate.  His letters written by his hand are reviewed now and again, and one must still be answered.  In that respect, I am a bad friend, but he understands me.  In reading a communication that he sent me today in response to one I sent him, I get hit with that REAL feel of LOVE.  What do I love about him?  I love his purity, his rebellion, his words, his mind, his understanding ways, his look on life, and love.  I love everything about him.

He is young, but his philosophic mind is like that of one that has been here long before.  Our ties are in our friendship and our friendship will supercede all else as that is the way of it.  We both know we will love each other forever and we are happy with that knowledge.  To those of you who think of this as a romantic kind of love, do think of romantic in the way it is used by poets, writers, artists, musicians, philosophers, and anyone who sees past what is presently viewed as romantic.  See the idealism instead.  Uwe, you are my comrade always!  I love you now and forever! ~ Maggie ~ February 4, 2009 @ 4:49 p.m.

VD and Suckers...

As you all know Valentine’s Day is about to lurk its ugly head out and make suckers out of most of you.  Why?  It is because you fall into the pattern of capitalistic and unrealistic relationship pressure.

Women, do you feel unloved if forgotten on VD?  Men, do you feel pressured to buy on VD or you will have to listen to the WHINE factor because all her friends got something and she didn’t?

Women, are you so shallow that you NEED bonbons, hearts, and cards on this day from your man to prove his love?  Men, are you so shallow that you NEED to run out and buy shit to prove your love?  That is not love so pay attention.  You are participating in a bogus event.  IF you really love someone, you don’t wait for the holidays to prove your love by buying bogus bullshit for your sweetie nor should your sweetie expect you to buy her bogus bullshit.  If you love someone, you have been proving by giving your love all year.  Right?  Then again, how many of you really love?

Not for anything, if you give your love all year round in the most real sense of the meaning, the bogus bullshit that VD represents will not mean shit to you.  Hey, if you wanted to show your love on VD, then give of yourself.  Oh wait...if you do that and your sweetie is only WANTING something other than love like material objects, then you are fucked.  Get those wallets out boys and be prepared to kiss some ass.  You only have 10 tens days left.

In a way I kind of like this day as it shows who is real and who isn’t.  Ah, most relationships are not real so it will kind of be like “I AM A SUCKER” day.  Could you folks stamp that on your forehead so I can laugh at you?

As I close this, I wish all you suckers a happy VD and hope that one day all y’all get real.  However, I won’t hold my breath as I might turn blue. ~ Maggie ~ February 4, 2009 @ 7:32 a.m. EST  

What we’ve got here...

When looking into a fire many colors are seen.  The colors one may see are red, orange, yellow, blue, and white.  Of course the hottest is the blue or white fire.  Then again, what are the coldest colors?  Light blue represents cool as does white with a hue of blue represent cold.  White is not really a color.


Fire has a symmetry to it.  It has a top, bottom, left, and right.  Imagine if you will taking your arm and placing it where you think it is hot only to really know how cold it is?  Would there be risk of burn?  What if said this way: Lets say you know someone does not really give a damn or two flying fucks, would anything you do make a difference in their demeanor toward you or about themselves?  What is your risk of getting burned by them which is really you burning yourself?  If there is no fire, you can’t get burned.  The fire has to exist in symmetry in order to burn.

One of my best sayings is you have to burn to learn.  Not for anything, getting burned is good for you. However, if you are cold to the matter, all the heat in the world won’t make a damned snowflake melt. ~ Maggie ~ February 2, 2009 @ 9:31 p.m. EST

When you know...

Signs are all around if you pay attention. A sign or symbol only stands for something, but that does not necessarily make it that which it stands for.  Thus the reading of this and that will not be plastered in black and white as it  would be too obvious.  Cloaked is what the sign or symbol believes it is.  Would you go for that?  A sign/symbol covers the core of what it is pasted to,  painted to, or shaped to be by drawing your attention.  What appears is not always what is.  Be thee not fooled.  Something other than the advertisement on the billboard or the word(s)/shape on/of the street sign exist, however, you have to see past what initially draws your attention.  It only takes a second to make the realization, but that second is worth it.

When reading signs, it is also handy to have a thermometer as well so that you may UNDERSTAND the hot or cold aspects of its properties.  A patient individual who knows that the sign is but a cloak and the temperature reading without the proper instrument will be wrong, should take the time to disassemble the parts to find out what are its properties and what holds it together and why.

Behavior dictates that most humans do not like to read lengthy pieces nor do they like to read the fine print.  It is rather like the bible toting.  People rather just be told what it is about than to read and examine the works for themselves.  Ahem–I have my electron microscope out. ~ Arachne ~ February 2, 2009 @ 12:16 a.m.

NOTE: Writers can and do sometimes use words or metaphors to cover or state what they really mean. Do I really mean a sign or symbol or is that too a sign or symbol for something other than what I state? Signs/symbols could also be reflections in pos or neg form. Now play with it.

Pondering the Reality~

Take me for no fool.  I have gauged the reality and it has been greatly pondered.  Only a fool would not see ahead and behind to draw the circle that encompasses all.  If one is not aware to take into consideration reinforcement/extinguishment of self and other(s) behavior(s) that work/do not work, one will err in similar fashion time and time again.  What is the fun of that?  That is like playing Monopoly and being stuck in jail while everyone else is going around the board collecting their $200 upon passing go OR trying to ram your face through a concrete wall only to bloody your face with every attempt.  What is life if not a place to learn and grow?  Try.  Try again works sometimes, but it really depends on the dice and who is playing.  

Reality–it is rather multifaceted and glitters a spectrum of color depending on how you move the crystal.  If you so choose, the colors could be ripe for the picking or they could be mild and easily looked past without amazement.  I would rather be amazed.

Glory to toys!  Playing with life is like playing a game in which you choose the best path to win.  Of course you play selfishly, but not in a fashion that would make your opponent or opponents quit.  However, if they do quit, you could always play with yourself.  

Fashion dons what is expected and sometimes what is not.  Is it fashionable to wear short pants in a naked society?  No.  However, would you be distinguished from the lot?  You bet.  Adapt for reasons of reasonableness, but so long as they are for SELF. ~ Maggie February 1, 2009 @ a time unknown.

Works

Not a great many words are exchanged nor has there ever been.  Three years has past, yet there is something in his style that still holds my eye.  I find him a rather quiet soul, but there is an inner fire and fury that burns and attracts me.  He is the type of guy who I would let clip my wing and then chase him with the very scissors only to have him grab them back.  Hum.

I have seen his works over time and the works seem to grow.  How amazed I was to see his latest endeavor that left me rather breathless.  Ah, the craft.  Aye, he wields words well too, but alas those first words are long gone yet remembered although not verbatim.  The words without a face are what got me.  Eventually, the face was there as was all else for the view.  Previous works such as stone and nature shots and I marked my amazement.  However, I give a grand BRAVO and BELLISIMO to his new achievement done in grand design!  What a welcomed share.

Hands...I noticed a long time back...his hands.  From the perspective of an artist, I would want to draw them.  Their design is though chiseled from stone.

Although I have not in all this time met him, it is my belief based on all known data about self and what I can draw from him that we would be EXPLOSIVE.  Explosive can mean many things.  I don’t think that we would see eye to eye and there would probably be some friction as he has been known to be ornery, but he has not seen my ornery.  I am VERY selective with my ornery characteristic.  Life is not over yet and neither are the possibilities. ~ Maggie ~ February 1, 2009 @ a time unknown.

The Hunger~

The focus of my power can only lie within as I don't have and don't want to have power over another/others. It is for another/others to have power over themselves. However, it is hoped that the power that is gained is understood and not made a power over another/others. That would defeat the purpose of freedom.

Were thou not told never to feed the wild animals?

THE HUNGER...

Thou hast fed an animal of the wild
And thus the animal now hungers
With an almost insatiable appetite
Perhaps thou had not known that I was wild

How shall I describe the hunger?  The hunger is like a burning sensation that rouses the senses from darkened places.  Each morsel that was given was tracked and marked and now the bar has  risen.  Ah, each equestrian jump is higher than the last is it not?  Art not the maneuvers more complex?  Aye.

Is the hunger for that of food?  Nay, but nonetheless thou hast fed a wild animal and hast allowed the animal fresh meat.  That being said, I HUNGER for more.  It is hoped that I feed to my delight both in the day and in the night.  Fortunately, my appetite did not wean off with the passing years.  Tis my self appointed gift.  You would think that by now my desire would lessen or that my mind would be more tranquil in thought.  Again the word that comes to mind is NAY.  Tis a horse who nays away the day in clover fields, but be she mare?  Aye.  What stallion does she eye for the sake of a mate?  Be he wild?  Aye.  My practice has always been that should my nostrils flare and the hot moist breath escape them, I would take to the mount and feed as that is my beast. The animal within.  It is well known that a horse does not eat meat, but wolves do. ~ Maggie ~ January 29, 2009 @ 1:29 a.m. EST

The Crag

Rest dear soul whose minimum dost break the tide
Lining white ways of blue azure foam
Wrestling moon for wave of thither
Rock bound and clad but for a moment
Speak of elegant motion
Clash and splash gayly
Night falls and winds rise
Higher to pitch black seas rise
Noise sounding roar of oar
Vessel splatter upon the shore... ~ Maggie ~ January 28, 2009 @ 7:14 p.m. EST

Seasons In The Abyss

Seasons in the Abyss is a great song, but it is also a great idea. Imagine a dreamlike state where the greatest point of gravitational pull gives way and a falling occurs. All that surrounds you will be darkened, you may or may not feel the velocity at which you fall. Let’s say you feel a tremendous pull and your hair is flying backward and your clothes are all puffed out as if you had jumped out of a plane, only you can’t see the puff. You can’t even see the nose on your face much less your own arm(s). Perhaps you may feel a sense of fear in that you know not what will happen next, however, what if after what appears like 5 minutes (it could be 10 seconds, but time will not be something you will be aware of in full unless you have a big glow in the dark clock) you decide to have some fun with this event. Who knows, it could be your last and you won’t have to worry about feeling foolish at the playfulness of your nature as no one will see you as you can’t even see yourself. Okay, let’s say you decide you want to roll around in the space or dive down instead of doing the horizontal (if in fact you are horizontal) looking whose knows where as there is no sky, walls, or ground. All you have is the feeling of your own body and the sense experience of falling along with all the thoughts (if any) that are running through your head. You could be Superman even with your eyes open as you envision flying into a city to catch the bad guys, or you could be Peter Pan flying off to do battle with Captain Hook, or you are Alice in Wonderland and imagine you will catch the rabbit when you reach the bottom of the rabbit hole. Of course these are stories you are familiar with, but let’s say you decide just to be you. In all the darkness of the abyss that you have fallen into, time and space no longer exist. If you cannot see yourself, how do you know that you exist? Is it because you are thinking and imagine you feel a velocity of sort due to the rushing of air around your supposed body? Let’s now remove the rushing air and leave a calm weightless feeling. Now let’s us go one step further. What if you did not see that truck coming and death was instantaneous? Would you know the difference? Tis but a question. Other questions arise as well. How long is a season in the abyss and what would you make of it? You now have an environmental and physical tabula rasa of sorts. Do with it what you will. ~ Maggie ~ January 28, 2009 @ 5:16 p.m. EST

What is love and happiness: A personal perspective

In order to address this matter, I will look at self love and self happiness.

The love of self is most important for if one does not love self, one cannot love another or others with a full heart.  Taking this one step further, if love of self is not there, the individual who lacks self-love will look for love from another/others hoping to fill their void.  What occurs is a only a temporary fix for their self-love deficit.  Like a junkie needing a fix, a person who does not love self will take whatever love is offered to them, but they will not have the capacity to love in return nor sustain what love is bestowed upon them as they understand it not.  They accept love strictly for self gratification and nothing more. Therefore, how can one who lacks self-love love another in return? Love cannot be returned as there is little to none for self much less that to give to another/others. 

The problematic scenario for the person who lacks self-love is once the love from another/others  is removed, the individual lacking self-love will feel a greater void/hurt than the person who experiences a similar removal, but who loves themselves.  The difference lies in that the person who loves self feels more whole.  Although the person who loves self will miss the company and sharing of their love, their bounce back will be easier.  Whereas the person who lacks self-love will feel that a part of them has been taken away.  Unfortunately, that is not the case.  The part that is now missing was missing at the start.  It is possible that feelings of  worthlessness will be felt  not having self worth in the first place.  When you love self, you place a high value on self worth.

Happiness is something that lies within and cannot be obtained from a material object(s) or another/other subject(s).  Granted, the presence of a certain object(s) or the presence of a certain  subject(s) could please a person, however, the base of the happiness lies not within an object(s) or subject(s) presence.  If one had to base their happiness on exterior factors such as material goods or other people it would be dreadful.  What if one could not have the same type of income, vehicle, home,  vacation, or sneakers as a friend or family member?  Should that be a reason for unhappiness? Does money and object/material gain provide a body with joy or happiness?  Maybe for time, but then what?  What happens when the job is lost, the vehicle is broken down, the home is repossessed, the vacation passed 10 years ago, and the sneakers are hanging from a telephone wire?  Well what happens then?

As far as a subject(s) goes, what if your sole happiness depended on another person(s) and that person(s) just up and died or moved away forever?  Should you follow in death or move?  Would you then not know what happiness lies within the individual called YOU?  What if the subject or subjects are miserable?  Even if you love them, the misery is not worth your happiness to make them happy is it?  Misery does love company.  However, you could technically transfer your positively charged happy energy to the negatively charged unhappy individual, but it is up to the receiver to maintain their own happiness.  If they love themselves, they will keep themselves happy in a non object and non subject way.

Ah hell, I guess love and happiness tie in like a big pink bow.  The only one who will love you and give you the happiness that you deserve is YOU and no one other than YOU.  You in turn can share your love and happiness with others.  Wee ha!  That is amazing. ~ Maggie ~ January 27, 2009 @ 3:45 p.m. EST

Messages and Symbols?

Contemplating reason for a seasonal gift, a man sitting two seats over from me told me out of the seeming blue that they were turning the tape over.  He said “they” were playing “Santa Clause Is Coming To Town” and he asked me if I heard it.   There was no music playing in my ears from the waiting room I was in but he said something to the effect that they were turning the tape over.  When I asked him what is on the other side of the tape, he responded that the New Year was over.  I agreed, but still asked what was on the other side of the tape.  Call it morbid curiosity as I wanted to know what he heard.  Listen carefully I did in the event that there was music playing that my own thoughts had drowned out while thinking about the gift and its purpose.  Why that particular book me thought?  Why that particular subject matter from that particular author?  Nonetheless, there was no music playing.  He never did tell me what was on the other side of the tape that was supposedly being turned over.  He spoke of the return of the geese and stated that they are becoming dependent on humans thus losing their own survival skills.  We spoke of trees in early bloom as well as the ability to spot one of our own.  He knew me and I knew he, but we knew not each other.  Names were exchanged and hands were shook and I was left with questions about the man “a-cross” the river’s words.

This event really took place today.  In my own mind I questioned the sanity of the individual, but at the same time, I didn’t.  What if he was a messenger of sorts as what was on my mind had to do with an xmas present from a supposed “Secret Santa?” I use the word “supposed” in my previous sentence as I know whom the gift was inadvertently from, but know not who chose this particular book from this particular author dealing with this particular subject: symbols.  On the gift card it said “From: Secret Santa.”  From mind to hand and then delivery...there I question.  I was sitting there wondering why a book on symbols and why from Jung.  In addition, why was the book a book on psychology and not on another subject matter such as physics, history, politics, philosophy, art, law, or classical literature.  Why? The night before, I had asked my “Santa” why and he stated that “you are interested in psychology.”  That is true as that is what my degree is in, however, I also read other subjects as he well knows.  The tape in my head was thinking about Santa’s choice of genre.  In a way the tape has turned as xmas is over and Santa’s gift is being devoured and thought upon in the New Year despite areas of disagreement in regard to dream interpretation via symbols by ANY analyst.  However, I now sit and question what is playing on the other side of the New Year?  What about the returning geese and their dependence on bread?  What about the trees and knowing our own?  What do these symbols hold?  What is the message if any?  Thankfully this is not open to the arena of an analyst’s couch, but it is open to what it means to me within my own objectivity/subjectivity and not that which is or could be planted..

Meh.  The doctor called at 7:13 p.m. and I have to have the fluid from my knee drained and tested.  Great huh?  lol What the hell right?  Tis best to make light of that which could be heavy.  The future unfolds in the fashion of our design.  Tis light... ~ Maggie ~ January 25, 2009 @ 8:23 p.m. EST.

NOTE:  I DON'T CARE IF THERE ARE GRAMMATICAL OR PUNCTUATION ERRORS.  This shant be fixed.

Peg~

Peg is marked.  Although I would like to create a character analysis, I am not really sure where to start.  Characterizing a murderous wife and her abusive husband in an old story plot was easy, however, this is different.  That old story was a draft and even though the draft contained quite a bit of background information, I never did draft her end, but it is still envisioned as eye first upon the metal spiked fence.  Yes I envisioned her trip.  That is a pun.

Peg is different.  What do I see for the future?  I do not see anything worthy or fruitful and I actually find it rather sad.  Pegged and pigeonholed the numbers add up to expectation.  If hindsight is 20/20, what is foresight?  Vision?  Perhaps.  Maybe it is all about human behavior and the understanding of it or perhaps it is experience.  Then again, it could be a co-mingling of many things.

I do enjoy finding out what makes people tick as well as finding out where their ticktock will bring them.  Ticks can be heard on some clocks marking each second and they can also be found on dogs, but a tic is also a muscle spasm.  The words all sound the same, but each has a different meaning.  By the way, one plus one will always be two and 10 will always be ONE. ~ Maggie ~ January 24, 2009 @ 5:38 p.m. EST

Thoughts and Numbers ~

"To sleep perchance to dream..." is the thought of Hamlet, but he of course speaks of death. Yet Donne also spoke of death in that it "be not proud" for it accomplishes nothing. "Waking Life" and dreaming life are akin if pondered. Are we but dreams of self? Decartes thought about this too.

Perhaps it is insane to believe that thoughts can manifest, but that is exactly what I believe. The schematics are run in my head where it is rather abstract like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle where I know it forms a picture as I see it, but I have to place the pieces together so that another can see it without looking at the box cover. It is by my own means transmitted.

Not that I know much of anything, but what are the chances of me figuring out in my head the same shit that I am just now just reading about? Math and numbers are my worst subject and I never took science save for an unfinished class in anatomy and physiology in college. By the way, I did enjoy dissecting a rat’s kidneys. They were a lovely shade of blue. What if what I am thinking conceptually, is a reality that had come to be at another time or has yet to be? I will not insinuate that I know for sure anything about which I speak, but I do find that the order of my reading is bringing to light that which I pondered a year earlier and have been trying to grasp via images in abstract vision in regard to time, reality, space, death, life, and their relation to one another.

To anyone who has been reading me, you will know that I have been looking at time and numbers not exceeding 9. It is odd that I am currently on 5's in the book by Lance Storm called The Enigma of Numbers and I skipped ahead to 9 and then 10. Ten is ONE or unity. Zero is the Uroboros or the serpent who eats its own tail. It is not a number per se. It is life and death one and the same. It came to me as zero’s, circles, and eights equating to continuum. It is also odd, that the manner in which I came to see something could only be defined as liquid mercury falling upon itself turning rainbow and then devoid of color on the last two levels being 1 and 2. From what I gather, ancient alchemists used mercury, salt, and sulphur. I don’t know why I am thinking what I think nor do I understand how and why I am going through the motions of finding an answer, except perhaps there is one. It need not be the answer for everyone, but it will be mine.

0 = Void symbolic only. More at Uroboros - no beginning - no end like a circle.

1 = Monad (point/unity/infinity) The philosopher Zeno (342-270 BC) dealt with the problem of infinity by postulating the existence of conceptual entia such as the point, which had position, but no magnitude (i.e., it had location without extension). The point could not be increased by addition, or decreased by subtraction, and therefore did not exist in actuality.

2 = Dyad = squared = circle

3 = Triad = circle

4 = Tetrad = square = circle

5 = Pentad = circle

6 = Hexad = circle

7 = Heptad ?

8 = Ogdoad = continuum and contains two 45 degree angles = 9 or circle

9 = Ennead = thrice tri or complete cycle = circle

10 = Decad forms a triangle by adding 1+2+3+4 (tetractys) as thus and it exists in religion, alchemy, biology, psychology, and PHYSICS in regard to quarks:

   *
  * *
 * * *
* * * *

The Decad rather looks like the head of a pin or Monad. Virtual point to infinity.

The only thing I can’t figure is 7 other than it being prime and it comes to PI which occurs on MY level ONE in MY personal charts, but I did not skip ahead in the book to read up on this one. By the way, pi is 3.14159265358979323846...

When "PI[ED]" (simple past tense and past participle of pi) occurs at level 2 in time of 9, it then goes into restart on level 3 in time of 2.

Pi or ð is a mathematical constant whose value is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space, it is the same value as the ratio of a circle's area to the square of its radius. It is approximately equal to 3.14159 in the usual decimal notation (see the table for its representation in some other bases). Pi is one of the most important mathematical and physical constants: many formulae from mathematics, science, and engineering involve ð. Pi is an irrational number, which means that its value cannot be expressed exactly as a fraction m/n, where m and n are integers. Consequently, its decimal representation never ends or repeats. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pi

Currently on page 245. ~ Maggie ~ January 21, 2009 @ 10:07 p.m. EST

Villainy Art Woman

Lily Munster of 1313 Mockingbird Lane sharpens her nail to a fine point to pierce the skin of the victim of intent.  Penetration just a might for slight is enough to draw. Debauchery in thought perhaps made to flesh begat always from idea.  I have tasted of thee.

My thoughts filled “his” brain an “he” created the actions.  Thought to manifestation upon verbiage abstract and nothing more.  Bloodlust engulfing thoughts of meager means.  Ah, tis but a thought to play within the scope of this fabric I hold close to my heart.  Is it I who speaks of this as thus or do I tell a story?

If said story be one of the art of villainy, let us add a swan for the glory.  She lies between me and thee and I offer her up not for thee!  Nay.  My selfish ways are too pervasive, but perhaps that is not seen.  I had thought upon myself as an offer to thee, but that would be too easy.  Then again, these are just thoughts.  The woman before me is but my instrument on which to wage my creative achievement.  The puncture and torture for thrill.  Shall you feed?  Will the contorted figure provide your will with energy?  Will it drive you mad? What perversions may I hold that you may not see the magnitude or scope of?  Alas it lies in time, but what is time when you understand it not?  Depravity is as sweet as death!  Sniff the sweetness of the fallen corpse.

DeSade provides many interesting scenarios in which one could open a portal into another zone of decay or dismay for another, but what say you to another wishing it so?  Is silent consent a factor for consideration?  It would seem that it plays quite well at the moment. Is it I who speaks of this as thus or do I tell a story?  ~ Maggie ~ January 21, 2009 @ 8:13 p.m. EST

Who is to say what is what and what has been and where.  Tis only I that knows for where and there I leave it square.  Adieu! *wink