The Future of Favors:

Perhaps I am too nice in some respects when it comes to friends and family. However, in the future, I will limit/cease from doing for others because it seems that the simple act of reciprocation and/or acknowledgment is not had. I don't mind going out of my way for someone, if the act can be acknowledged and/or reciprocated. Utilizing past track records of others, I will place restrictions on whom I will do for and on whom I will not do for. Perhaps I could bend a bit, however, participation and cooperation will be prerequisites to any undertaking. I will use the famous and familiar words that we all can relate to: "DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU." I will use my past experience(s) to base my future judgement(s). Enough said on that matter. ~ Maggie 1/28/07 @ 1:34 a.m.

The Cut of Family Ties

As I so hate to deal with shit, I have disassociated myself from two closest family members (close in blood that is). My mother and daughter have gotten on my last nerve and now they can both go to hell and enjoy the ride. Today, when I told my daughter to lose my number, she remarked in a mocking manner: "You will be all alone." Shit! That is a laugh. I don't NEED anyone. It will be life as usual WITHOUT the added bullshit. To me that is seen as a benefit. My daughter has been deleted and blocked on every area of the internet and none of her calls will be answered. As for mommy dearest, she too, although not on the internet, is not having any calls returned, however, that has been an ongoing thing.

Don't get me wrong as I do love them, however, I don't need their judgmental shit in my face. Therefore, it is best that ties be severed. My daughter knows what an ICE PRINCESS I can be and how I can shut it all down. Well shut down is finished and so is the relationship. I will not buckle, however, I bet they do at some point. If not, oh well shit happens. C'est la vie! I truly don't give a rat's ass. ~ Maggie 1/25/07 @ 11:11 p.m.

Indifference

Realization starts in the pit of your stomach and works its way up to your brain. It is only upon thought and rational judgement that decisions can be made with justification. As such, this little spider has decided to chill in her web and wait for the cleansing of rain at dawn.

Detachment of attachment does serve a purpose from a psychological point of view especially when dealing with individuals not yet met. A bond of sorts can be had on various levels of interest, but the heart is another matter. Interest in a potential mate (a spark or ignition can be had, yet something can be missing from the equation) does not call for nor necessitate a buildup nor a release of emotions. This could be viewed as me being indifferent and I would say "quite right!" However, logic plays into this equation as the thought of attaching to someone/something that may not be or will not be could be harmful to the psyche if it is allowed to be. With the right mind set, one can be aloof and not allow for emotional involvement. This could be viewed as "safe mode" or it could be viewed as smart.

The road of falling for someone in cyberspace was had before and my heart was extended and handed back to me. That is fine in itself as it was a stepping stone of knowledge that lead me to where I am now. Thus, I am ever grateful for the lesson well learned. As stated on more than one occasion, all negative situations have positive attributes that can and will contribute to the fiber/fabric of the individual who has experienced the situation. ~ Maggie 1/25/07 @ 3:33 p.m.

Hopefully this weekend will find me with my bud(s) hanging and having a good time. Maybe next week I will contact my cousin Mikey and get the address of the guy who does custom tatts and treat myself to a work of art.

Arachnids: The Spider and The Scorpion

The black widow may weave webs in due course
And trap prey to feed upon, yet...
The scorpion had the ability to trap her
Although many battles were had
She was able to withstand him
Perhaps understand him
Can it be that the toxins that were shared between these two
Caused immunity from death on both parts?
Neither bearing poison to the other
But rather causing glorious intoxication?
If the battles could occur again,
venenum e venenum delectare
The Black Widow lurks in netherworlds, yet the trap is above board
The deceit of scorpion's tail, while behind him, also lies below
Put these two together and there will be a show ~ Maggie 1/23/07 @ 11:13 p.m.

*THIS WRITE IS ABOUT MAX (The Widow) AND DREW (The Scorpion).

Murder in Progress - Behind the Scenes Thinking.

I have ideas for this story, but this is just what I have in my brain so far. What I am looking to figure out is how to commit a vicious murder that will be deemed an accident. Hum. What to do. It may come to me and then again it may not. I have an interesting poison technique, however, I don't know that it has been done before, so I will keep that to myself. Snicker.

Gliding silently down the 13 steps to avoid detection, she effortlessly opened the door and stepped out into the cool night air. Finally, she could breath deeply, as the monster who had for so long rendered her helpless was dead. She was dying inside and although she coped for many a long years, her preoccupation with his demise always played out in her mind. Often she wondered how she could get away with his murder. Plans were hatched and thought upon, but never played out as upon further inspection, a flaw in her device was found. How could she make it look like an accident when she so wanted to butcher him? To have him die without pain before her eyes would surely serve her no benefit as she sought revenge.

He was a tall burley man with a gristled look. His collection of swords, knives, and guns were beautifully mounted for all to see, however, rare occasion saw him utilize his intimidation methods on welcomed, but disliked guests. His sadistic nature was not limited to her. He sought out fear in all those that knew him, yet a refusal to attend a "bash" as he termed it, was never had. ~ Maggie 1/15/07
1/18/07 ~

Ok Rob this is the gist of it. A woman who has lived the life of a psychologically and physically battered woman decides that she wants to retaliate against her sadistic and overpowering husband. She decides to poison him with oleander via a cookout and will put the dried twigs, leaves, and petals in amongst the rest of the wood for the fire. The carbonized poison will attach itself onto the meat that he will eat and thus the meat will carry the poison.

Background on the man is above. He is an evil bastard who enjoys being sadistic towards everyone in his path. As everyone fears him even his supposed friends (employees) who he often enjoys tormenting with rounds of Russian roulette using live ammo, he holds their livelyhood over their heads as well as what he knows about them. He is a blackmailer amongst other things. He is their meal ticket thus they obey, but hate him.

His business: He is a contractor who has underworld connections. As he usually has others do his dirty work, his hands are clean (at least it is so believed) as there are no paper trails. Murder, blackmail, drugs, robbery, intimidation, and fraud are some of his sideline jobs. Call him a mastermind or puppet master.

She is a smart cookie who has done research based on his weaknesses. He is a meat lover and he has had a few heart attacks.

What better scenario could be cooked up than to have a cookout with all of his enemies present and accounted for. As she has seen over the course of time to make sure that he eats first, so it shall be that the king will be watched upon his throne as he gobbles the fowl or steak hungrily filling his gut while the poison attacks his system.

As she has had time to plot this scenario, she has laid the foundation of her cutting back on her intake of foods and the type of foods she eats. This would ward off suspicion, however, she would have a bit of the poison food as would everyone else. As she is the hostess with the mostest, she serves others with salad and soups first. With so many present who hate him, the web of who done it would widen. She does not tell anyone of her plot as loose lips sink ships.

The acquirement and keeping of the plants: Store bought years back cash payment and no cameras in the store. The plants were planted around their summer home and looked absolutely beautiful when in full foliage. All plants are hidden in plain sight. There is nothing like playing stupid and she is real good at looking like the fool. Her research was originally done years back when she was curious about different types of poisons and she did her research within library books and not on the net. She did not look up poisons per se as that is too obvious. However, a sweet view into encyclopedias did her a world of wonders. This little bit will ensure that there is no trace of her searching for poisons on the net. Even if you delete files on your computer, the ghosts of what has been deleted remains for the authorities.

Caution is used when breaking off and leaving the twigs around the grounds as all must appear natural. Her foots steps as well as his and the guests are all around the encampment. Prior prunings have been left on the ground to act as mulch as she had done for years. Whether it was good mulch or bad is not an issue as that is where dumb comes in handy. You may ask why not have a gardener for the grounds? Alas, this poor woman did not have a life and took to loving her blooming garden of device as she was a KEPT woman. Therefore, her actions would not seem out of the ordinary. Alas, patience is a virtue by which all women should live.

More to come as I feel inclined.

I need to work on how to get the twigs and other matter in without detection. Perhaps I can pull a Iago and have someone else gather it without their knowing. I'll work on that.

Additives for the character mixture:

Something in her character was twisted into being during her formative years wherein she felt that she was different from others. This was not just a matter of mental state as it was also a physical state. For the greater part of her life, she lived in a shroud and had to keep all that happened in her life to herself as though it was some deep dark secret that would destroy her. In essence she was right. What was showing on the outside was a docile, sweet, kind, and considerate woman. However, what was lurking beneath the surface was a cauldron that was boiling over with rage. The only thing that held the rage back was the purpose and the purpose was the big get even. This was a sure fire element to her plan as no one had seen her inner nature. It was not so much that she was deceptive as she was just being herself as she had always been seen. What lurked inside, she held close to her little black heart that drew upon all her past experiences to bring her to the point she was at.

When she met ? (I need a name), she saw an opposite reflection of herself within him and hoped that some of him would rub off on her. She saw strength and confidence in him that she could not find within herself. At least not yet. He was her protector, while at the same time he was her tormentor. This was not too far off from what she was used to in childhood so it felt safe. Perhaps that is what attracted her to ? (I still need a name).

If you have questions on this, it means I did not cover some ground. Hit me with them if you have them. No stone should be unturned. We are talking about murder here. A PERFECT MURDER which is well founded and thought upon. ~ Maggie

This morning's dream... *Clarification made

From what I can remember of the dream this morning, I was driving around Brooklyn by myself wearing a dress or something as I had access to myself. It was like I was like I was lost as nothing seemed familiar, except the fact that it was Brooklyn. I remember making a wide turn on some block, but I don't know where I was at. What caused me to make the wide turn was something that I did. That something was very uncharacteristic of me and that was to put a finger in myself while driving to see if I had my *period. That is odd all in itself and weird to boot. I did not have it so I wiped my finger on a napkin. That too is uncharacteristic as I usually lick my finger. *Clarification: I never check to see if I have my period by the method indicated within my dream or any other way. I just get it and that is it. What I meant by the licking of my finger is that if and when I finger myself, I suck it clean and never wipe it anywhere on anything. That whole scenario was just WEIRD. Next thing is that I am somewhere at some sort of place and he is there.

He and I are sitting on a couch, but it is not a place I know or have ever seen. As I look at him, there is mustard on his nose and he asks me to wipe it off. I then pull out the same napkin I used to clean my finger and I clean the mustard off his nose which is followed by a kiss. This gentle nose kiss is followed by me forcefully pushing him down with passionate kisses as I grind into him. That is when I feel his hands on my hips pulling me tighter into him. In the course of his excitement, he removes his pants and I watch like a hungry animal viewing dinner.

His top is a strange kind of blue which was sort of padded in lines like a 16th century type of velvet top only his was not velvet nor was it a replica of that type of top. It was different. Imagine the priest type of tops of the 70's the collar type of top. Also, the blue was not a deep rich blue...it was kind of washed out and the padding was minimal and not fancy. His pants were black. Although we were in a room, the contents of the room are not in memory nor is the color of the couch. It was just like nothing else existed but he and I.

After his pants were off, I crawled up between his legs back toward his face and once again started kissing and grinding into him. Again, his hands were on my hips and I was going crazy. That is when I woke up. Bummer huh?

Can anyone interpret this? ~ Maggie 1/18/07 @ 2:29 p.m.

A Poem

Fair angel who hast not been touched by religion
O cherub winged and glorious
Thy beauty hosts from within and without
To concur forming one
One radiant beam of light that casts out
Darkness in the most inaccessible recesses
Making brilliant that which was dull
Exploring that which had yet to be explored
Accepting that which most would put asunder
Being god angel and man child in one
O mighty splendor let me cast an eye to thee
Caricature mine eye to that of a globe
My pupil dilates and is regulated by what is shown
Maximizing in the dark for greater range and
Minimizing in the light
Expand upon me what you will
However, grant me audience so to capture as did Raphael ~ Arachne 1/13/07 @ 10:45 p.m.

Someone Sweet

Sweet gentle prince of men
Grant a touch of thy finger to my tea
That thine essence pure may be transferred
Stir about it gingerly
Nay, thou shares nothing bittersweet or pseudo
As the taste plays happily and lingers on my buds and in my mind
Ne'er changing its nature
Proof in the pudding is proof in the pie
Cake or crust dost crumble
Yet thou hold solid and true
Undeniably, thou art pure to form
Thou art akin to the sweetness of cane and comb ~ Maggie 1/13/07 @ 8:35 p.m.

UNTITLED

At odds myself vastly I hold yet wager
That misfortune shall not lay hand upon me
'Tis time spent educationally so that bears merit to my course
A course that hones and owns within my breast
One can'st lose what one ne'er possesses
Do I speak of a heart?
There hath been hollowness of cavity prior
Thus echos still resonate to reason
Wherefore I allow access, only I cause and artfully array
Or...disarray
At will
Strategically speaking,
There lies no villainous treachery
No ill will
No rebuke
Far more reason looms thus its cries are heard
More effectively so than booms of cannon fire
Nature need not be hidden under a theatrical mask
Of frown or glad nature where none exists
Exposure to the elements does fine work indeed!
The reflected spectacle of mine own minds eye
Tells a great many stories that upon further inspection
Reveal truth
At the helm and steering into shallow waters
Hoping to go out to sea ~ Maggie 1/13/07 @ 9:07 a.m.

PIERCED

Usually I don't have a problem running on my treadmill, however, yesterday when I put the speed up to 6 mph and was not wearing a bra, I realized that I have a bit of a problem. No, it is not because I am sporting whoppers. Actually, I don't have much bounce to the ounce.

The problem, if I can even call it that, stems from having my nipples pierced. It would seem that in addition to a cool breeze, running brings about wild feelings all over my body. I can't say that it is occurring because it is new as I have had the piercing since December 22. Also, it is not like I don't like the feeling as I do, however, it does not mesh well with a workout. Doing the bouncy bouncy thingy in other ways could make the feeling more appropriate. A mental and physical note is made on that matter.

If there is anyone else out here who has had their nipples pierced, please let me know if these wonderful sensations stay or is it happening because I was super sensitive to begin with. The constant erect nipple thingy is excellent too.

Women, don't be afraid to have it done as it is so great you will want to be out in a cool breeze and bounce like mad. Just imagine all the millions of little tingles running through your body. Hell, that is reason enough to go get them done. ~ Maggie 1/13/07 @ 2:51 a.m.

NOTE: I LOVE MY NEW HEIGHTENED AWARENESS. Even a loose fitting top without a bra is now exciting!!!! I do want more piercings and hope that in the future, my "lover to be" will do the more exotic and erotic ones for/to me. It has been done several times in the past, therefore, it can be done again. No fear here. HELL YEAH I WANNA GO FOR IT!

LISTENING TO: THE DAGGERS: Right Between the Eyes ~ She Told Me She Said

BURNERS. An encryption to myself.

It is best to keep the burners on low to avoid scorched pots and nasty spillage due to boil over. Such can happen when dealing with liquid, however, when dealing with solids such as meat, the product can become charred, tough, and not worthy of eating. Thus it is best to keep the burner at low to moderate levels to avoid potential damage to the machine (stove), tool (pot or pan), or product (i.e., meat).

Also, when you watch your rice properly, it will not stick to the pot when it is ready. ~ Maggie 1/11/07 @ 3:26 a.m.

KINKY SEX MAKES THE WORLD GO 'ROUND

Jan 10, 2007

Art is a reflection of reality if one really looks. ~ Arachne

DEAD KENNEDYS / GIVE ME CONVENIENCE OR GIVE ME DEATH

1987 - Alternative Tentacles Records
 

Greetings…This is the Secretary of War at the State Department of the United States…We have a problem. The companies want something done about this sluggish world economic situation…Profits have been running a little thin lately and we need to stimulate some growth…Now we know there's an alarmingly high number of young people roaming around in your country with nothing to do but stir up trouble for the police and damage private property. It doesn't look like they'll ever get a job…It's about time we did something constructive with these people…We've got thousands of 'em here too. They're crawling all over…

The companies think it's time we all sit down, have a serious get-together—And start another war…The President? He loves the idea! All those missiles streaming overhead to and fro…Napalm…People running down the road, skin on fire…The Soviets seem up for it…The Kremlin's been itching for the real thing for years. Hell, Afghanistan's no fun…So whadya say?…We don't even have to win this war. We just want to cut down on some of this excess population…

Now look. Just start up a draft; draft as many of those people as you can. We'll call up every last youngster we can get our hands on, hand 'em some speed, give 'em an hour or two to learn how to use an automatic rifle and send 'em on their way…Libya? El Salvador? How 'bout Northern Ireland? Or a "moderately repressive regime" in South America?…We'll just cook up a good Soviet threat story in the Middle East—we need that oil…We had Libya all ready to go and Colonel Khadafy's hit squad didn't even show up. I tell ya…That man is unreliable. The Kremlin had their fingers on the button just like we did for that one…

Now just think for a minute—We can make this war so big—so BIG…The more people we kill in this war, the more the economy will prosper…We can get rid of practically everybody on your dole queue if we plan this right. Take every loafer on welfare right off our computer rolls…Now don't worry about demonstrations—just pump up your drug supply. So many people have hooked themselves on heroin and amphetamines since we took over, it's just like Vietnam. We had everybody so busy with LSD they never got too strong. Kept the war functioning just fine…

It's easy. We've got our college kids so interested in beer they don't even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again. Put a nuclear stockpile in their back yard, they wouldn't even know what it looked like…So how 'bout it? Look—War is money. The arms manufacturers tell me unless we get our bomb factories up to full production the whole economy is going to collapse…The Soviets are in the same boat. We all agree the time has come for the big one, so whadya say?!?…That's excellent. We knew you'd agree…The companies will be very pleased. 

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Kinky-Sex-Makes-the-World-Go-'Round-lyrics-Dead-Kennedys/F3B12A0BA6181E1B48256AD6002C2772

CONSULT YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD MICROBE

It sickens me to heart that this fine land of ours is one day going to be barren. As barren as an old woman's womb. We are killing this planet with our selfish ways and I do not see that it is going to stop. Look around as the comfort you think you have is slowly slipping away. Maybe you have felt the heat and maybe you haven't. The climate is starting to shift and before long the warm water current that flows in our ocean will turn cold. When that happens, the eco system will be fucked and the ice age will once again hit us. Will we be frozen solid like the mastodons with food still in our mouths? Who will stuff us and put us on display? Consult your friendly neighborhood microbe as that may be more intelligent life than what we have now. ~ Maggie 1/9/07 @ 9:36 p.m.

Listening to: The English Teeth, Aural Atrocities 1874 - 2002 ~ Kween Mutha