The pen being mightier than the sword
I have heard thee thus I have stirred
To crawl from my crevassed hiding place
Creeping along the narrow passage and
Conquering that which has chained me
Unleashing that which has been caged
Confined and otherwise buried
Deep within the darkest regions it
Rises to the surface like cream
Unsoured and unspoiled
Oh sweet sweet resurrection
My web I weave as my hunger grows
Feel the tender pain of the spider's bite and
Feel the poison dart through thy veins as
That is thy reward - Maggie- 3/30/06
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Unwanted Slumber
Seeking to fix that which is unfix able
I lie slumbering cold and alone
Deep beneath the soil black and moist
I cannot turn, toil, or hoist
This body that is cold as stone
Oh rigor leave me be to my wits
And allow only for the hollow softness of the maggot's bite ~ Maggie - 3/30/06
I lie slumbering cold and alone
Deep beneath the soil black and moist
I cannot turn, toil, or hoist
This body that is cold as stone
Oh rigor leave me be to my wits
And allow only for the hollow softness of the maggot's bite ~ Maggie - 3/30/06
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Deepest Sleep
Mein Liege
Deepest sleep rests within thy breast
Held tightly only by that which keep thee abound
Rest thy weary eyes and slumber with haste
Darkness waits for thee on the other side of midnight - Maggie - 3/29/06
Deepest sleep rests within thy breast
Held tightly only by that which keep thee abound
Rest thy weary eyes and slumber with haste
Darkness waits for thee on the other side of midnight - Maggie - 3/29/06
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Thoughts and Philosophies
Thoughts and philosophies - by Arachne
Enter into another realm...a dream state...all is infinite there...no boundaries...no limitations.
MEMORY: It is amazing how a single word can bring total recall! It starts a as a spark in the kindling and grows to a roaring blaze!
We are comprised of both good and evil...one cannot exist without the other. Think about this...if you took away evil what is good? What makes good so? How is it quantified or qualified? It isn't.
Where there is talk there is envy! Therefore, let their tongues wag for as long as they wish. Worry only when they stop...
Not to be accepting would close the door on communication and trust.
I am weird to the bone and I love every second of it
I love to open eyes to discovery!
Hear me now...I scream in silence....
The depth of knowledge should never be a shallow pool. Yes! Let it be that of an ocean in which depths man cannot reach but only strive for.
I am a blend of innocence and wickedness. Ah what a wonderful combination. However, never read this book by its cover as the cover does not change but the pages are always being re-written. ~ 3/28/06
Enter into another realm...a dream state...all is infinite there...no boundaries...no limitations.
MEMORY: It is amazing how a single word can bring total recall! It starts a as a spark in the kindling and grows to a roaring blaze!
We are comprised of both good and evil...one cannot exist without the other. Think about this...if you took away evil what is good? What makes good so? How is it quantified or qualified? It isn't.
Where there is talk there is envy! Therefore, let their tongues wag for as long as they wish. Worry only when they stop...
Not to be accepting would close the door on communication and trust.
I am weird to the bone and I love every second of it
I love to open eyes to discovery!
Hear me now...I scream in silence....
The depth of knowledge should never be a shallow pool. Yes! Let it be that of an ocean in which depths man cannot reach but only strive for.
I am a blend of innocence and wickedness. Ah what a wonderful combination. However, never read this book by its cover as the cover does not change but the pages are always being re-written. ~ 3/28/06
Thursday, March 16, 2006
March 16, 2006
My daughter and I started our morning by going out for breakfast...GREEN BAGELS. We actually, had to be to the deli by 7:00 a..m. to ensure that she would get her special bagels. Well, she got two baker's dozen and we wrapped and froze them. After which, we ate talked and made our way to the St. Patrick's Day parade.
Kiss Me I'm Irish!!!
The NEW YORK CITY St. Patrick's Day parade. This event was a most memorable one. My daughter and I woke early that morning, and made it to 5th Avenue and 49th Street by 11:00. Although we were approximately 6 to 8 people in back on the parade line, we did manage to make it to the front and get a most spectacular view of the parade. The number of uniformed officers from the NYPD and FDNY were amazing. What was particularly amazing yet sad, was the amount of flags that were carried by FDNY in memorial of the fallen fire fighters from 9/11. There were over 300 flags being held. What a waste of human life.
The NYPD and FDNY pipers also proved to be a wonder to see and hear as the costumes were brilliant in color and the bagpipes were most melodic in sound. It almost seemed as though every officer from both departments were present and accounted for at the parade which made me wonder "who is watching the city?" When the mounted police paraded by, it was funny to see the pooper scoopers in back of them. Hey, they have to keep the city clean. WHERE THE HELL WAS BLOOMBERG? I sure did not see him and there was talk in the crowed as to where the hell he was. Some Mayor. Koch or Giuliani would never have done that.
A vast number of police, fire fighters, troopers, and EMS workers from NY and across the United States were also represented. In addition, there was the Army, Navy, and Marines. Damn it was a beautiful sight and made me proud to be an American. My father was career Navy, so for me to see the Navy so nicely represented, brought back the vague memory of my father in uniform.
Ok, so maybe I never wanted to admit to the Irish blood that flows through my veins, but it is there. Actually, my father's father was named John Tilroe Lokey and although I was born with the Lokey name, I have since changed it to my mother's maiden name which is Kelly...a real good Mohawk name. In addition, my great-great grandmother's grandfather was named Constant "American" McComber. I guess that would account for the freckles and hazel/green eyes. The Lokey name does have a "Coat of Arms." I have yet to check on the McComber link.
My daughter and I stayed at the parade until approximately 2:00 p.m. and then made our way back to Rockefeller Center to catch the train back to Brooklyn. We were both in need of a nap and that is what we took.
That evening, I was supposed to meet my friend Will from Myspace, however, he was sick so my daughter and I decided to hang out and we went to the Village. I headed straight to Tattoo Everywhere II on MacDougal St. where I got a lower back piece done. Omar was the artist and he was great at listening to our humor. The first thing I did was have him lower the price by $50. Apparently he charges women more because he said that they make him stop. I told him that would not happen here and I wanted a reduction in the price. He did it and I kept up my end of the deal.
Maybe it is our NY sense of humor, but you should hear my daughter and I joke around. You would swear we are either crazy or we hate each other! Either way it is funnier than hell if you ask me. You would have to know us to know that we are being goofy with each other! Thank God Omar knew we were kidding as he was busting a rib. I got his e-mail addy here on hotmail and promised I would credit him his work on BMEzine which I am now proudly a member based on my contributions.
After the deed was done, we walked down the block to Panchito's. My daughter's father and I used to go there for the best and cheapest Mexican food you can get. Guess what...it is still the best and still the cheapest Mexican food you can get! Nikki and I stayed until closing time which was fine by us. We were just really enjoying each other's company and tall tales. What was funny was that the waitress was from Wisconsin and did not know what chop meat was and we believe that the waiter was Amish as he didn't know either. Maybe it is just a New York saying. Who knows. Anyway the night was quite amusing all around.
We were out of Panchito's by around 2:30 a.m.or so and we walked toward the car. Of course we really took our time as we talked, window shopped, and peeked in and checked out all the little bars and cafes along the way. We were having a very loud and funny conversation based on total stupidity, however, this conversation may have just saved our ass'. We both believe that we avoided a potential rapist/mugger or worse simply because we made him laugh. It was approximately 3:00 a.m. on Sullivan St. and the street was abandoned except for this one guy (oh yeah, at the beginning of the street there was a bag lady going through the garbage). Well anyway, this guy was about 6' 2" tall, about 250 lbs, black with a black stocking over his face. He may have already robbed someone, but we weren't asking. Only a nose hole was cut out of the stocking. He died laughing when he heard what we were talking about. The conversation was about yarmulkas and this Sicilian kid named Mike. Again, you really had to be there. The whole drive home was a total laugh as we could be heard outside of the car window laughing like crazy people as all we could hear is this possible assailant's laugh. He did a very hardy HA HA HA with one eye shut. How bizarre is that! Only in New York!
Kiss Me I'm Irish!!!
The NEW YORK CITY St. Patrick's Day parade. This event was a most memorable one. My daughter and I woke early that morning, and made it to 5th Avenue and 49th Street by 11:00. Although we were approximately 6 to 8 people in back on the parade line, we did manage to make it to the front and get a most spectacular view of the parade. The number of uniformed officers from the NYPD and FDNY were amazing. What was particularly amazing yet sad, was the amount of flags that were carried by FDNY in memorial of the fallen fire fighters from 9/11. There were over 300 flags being held. What a waste of human life.
The NYPD and FDNY pipers also proved to be a wonder to see and hear as the costumes were brilliant in color and the bagpipes were most melodic in sound. It almost seemed as though every officer from both departments were present and accounted for at the parade which made me wonder "who is watching the city?" When the mounted police paraded by, it was funny to see the pooper scoopers in back of them. Hey, they have to keep the city clean. WHERE THE HELL WAS BLOOMBERG? I sure did not see him and there was talk in the crowed as to where the hell he was. Some Mayor. Koch or Giuliani would never have done that.
A vast number of police, fire fighters, troopers, and EMS workers from NY and across the United States were also represented. In addition, there was the Army, Navy, and Marines. Damn it was a beautiful sight and made me proud to be an American. My father was career Navy, so for me to see the Navy so nicely represented, brought back the vague memory of my father in uniform.
Ok, so maybe I never wanted to admit to the Irish blood that flows through my veins, but it is there. Actually, my father's father was named John Tilroe Lokey and although I was born with the Lokey name, I have since changed it to my mother's maiden name which is Kelly...a real good Mohawk name. In addition, my great-great grandmother's grandfather was named Constant "American" McComber. I guess that would account for the freckles and hazel/green eyes. The Lokey name does have a "Coat of Arms." I have yet to check on the McComber link.
My daughter and I stayed at the parade until approximately 2:00 p.m. and then made our way back to Rockefeller Center to catch the train back to Brooklyn. We were both in need of a nap and that is what we took.
That evening, I was supposed to meet my friend Will from Myspace, however, he was sick so my daughter and I decided to hang out and we went to the Village. I headed straight to Tattoo Everywhere II on MacDougal St. where I got a lower back piece done. Omar was the artist and he was great at listening to our humor. The first thing I did was have him lower the price by $50. Apparently he charges women more because he said that they make him stop. I told him that would not happen here and I wanted a reduction in the price. He did it and I kept up my end of the deal.
Maybe it is our NY sense of humor, but you should hear my daughter and I joke around. You would swear we are either crazy or we hate each other! Either way it is funnier than hell if you ask me. You would have to know us to know that we are being goofy with each other! Thank God Omar knew we were kidding as he was busting a rib. I got his e-mail addy here on hotmail and promised I would credit him his work on BMEzine which I am now proudly a member based on my contributions.
After the deed was done, we walked down the block to Panchito's. My daughter's father and I used to go there for the best and cheapest Mexican food you can get. Guess what...it is still the best and still the cheapest Mexican food you can get! Nikki and I stayed until closing time which was fine by us. We were just really enjoying each other's company and tall tales. What was funny was that the waitress was from Wisconsin and did not know what chop meat was and we believe that the waiter was Amish as he didn't know either. Maybe it is just a New York saying. Who knows. Anyway the night was quite amusing all around.
We were out of Panchito's by around 2:30 a.m.or so and we walked toward the car. Of course we really took our time as we talked, window shopped, and peeked in and checked out all the little bars and cafes along the way. We were having a very loud and funny conversation based on total stupidity, however, this conversation may have just saved our ass'. We both believe that we avoided a potential rapist/mugger or worse simply because we made him laugh. It was approximately 3:00 a.m. on Sullivan St. and the street was abandoned except for this one guy (oh yeah, at the beginning of the street there was a bag lady going through the garbage). Well anyway, this guy was about 6' 2" tall, about 250 lbs, black with a black stocking over his face. He may have already robbed someone, but we weren't asking. Only a nose hole was cut out of the stocking. He died laughing when he heard what we were talking about. The conversation was about yarmulkas and this Sicilian kid named Mike. Again, you really had to be there. The whole drive home was a total laugh as we could be heard outside of the car window laughing like crazy people as all we could hear is this possible assailant's laugh. He did a very hardy HA HA HA with one eye shut. How bizarre is that! Only in New York!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
March 15, 2006
Well, considering I was supposed to leave at 11:00 p.m. on the 14th, it was midnight before I finally got on the road. So I was running a wee bit late, however, I headed out fully packed and ready to have a great trip. I was not running too late. One hour's difference to me is not a whole hell of a lot considering I can make that time up in a New York minute. It truly was a great drive as I made it to my self-proclaimed parking spot in beautiful downtown Bensonhurst, Brooklyn in 6 hours and 2 minutes. That is really not bad considering that I stopped three times for coffee and once at the border. Consider this too, I also hit a bad snowstorm throughout the Adirondack mountain region.
I do real well at estimating my time of arrival based on the time it takes me to get to Albany, NY. I knew it was going to run me 6 hours. Damn I was right on the money. For sure I thought that I was going to get busted on the Palisades Parkway in Jersey as the State Police were parked right in the U as I sped by doing 25 mph over the speed limit. If there is a GOD, I guess he is with me. Don't they say He watches over fools and drunks? Well, I don't drink so I must be a fool!
My baby girl was wide awake and ready to go for breakfast as soon as I got in. With all my junk in the car (she called my bringing of my own pillows and blanket GHETTO), we headed to the Vegas Diner in my old neighborhood. There we ate eggs and toast and had good coffee and conversation. After which, we shopped till we dropped. What a great day it was. Just me and my baby girl!
I do real well at estimating my time of arrival based on the time it takes me to get to Albany, NY. I knew it was going to run me 6 hours. Damn I was right on the money. For sure I thought that I was going to get busted on the Palisades Parkway in Jersey as the State Police were parked right in the U as I sped by doing 25 mph over the speed limit. If there is a GOD, I guess he is with me. Don't they say He watches over fools and drunks? Well, I don't drink so I must be a fool!
My baby girl was wide awake and ready to go for breakfast as soon as I got in. With all my junk in the car (she called my bringing of my own pillows and blanket GHETTO), we headed to the Vegas Diner in my old neighborhood. There we ate eggs and toast and had good coffee and conversation. After which, we shopped till we dropped. What a great day it was. Just me and my baby girl!
A Fantasy Poem
Oh thou hast me in a state
A state of wild anticipation
Yet fear grips at my throat and my heart
Wilt thou be my possessor?
Wilt thou own my body and soul?
My desires are great and have need of fulfillment
My fulfillment comes in serving my master
Wilt thou be the master that I serve?
Oh thee of great strength and tenderness
I long for thee and the feeling of thy being
Yea nothing is for certain
Thou hast the power to release me back unto the world
Only to long again...Alas, only father time can commit us to judgment
Arachne - 3/15/2006
A state of wild anticipation
Yet fear grips at my throat and my heart
Wilt thou be my possessor?
Wilt thou own my body and soul?
My desires are great and have need of fulfillment
My fulfillment comes in serving my master
Wilt thou be the master that I serve?
Oh thee of great strength and tenderness
I long for thee and the feeling of thy being
Yea nothing is for certain
Thou hast the power to release me back unto the world
Only to long again...Alas, only father time can commit us to judgment
Arachne - 3/15/2006
Sunday, March 12, 2006
The Past 30 Days - March 12, 2006 - MY SEARCH
Since approximately September 2005, I have been in search of a dominant male to share my life with. One did fall out of internet heaven and then disappeared just as quickly into the crevices of cyberspace. February 12 to March 4 of 2006 proved to be a time of knowledge and experience. There were things about myself that I was not aware of. However, I did come to learn that I don't want to be the strong woman that I have been and that I require full and total submission of myself to accomplish femininity. The essence of strength belongs to man not a woman.
FINDING DANIEL
While I was away in NY, a wonderful and exciting e-mail was left in my mailbox. I don't usually get sexual yet poetic e-mail so this totally intrigued me. Of course I wrote back as I wondered about the author of the e-mail and the author of the poetry. I came to learn that HE was the poet, and being a writer of poetry myself, this only intrigued me more.
Damn I am just a babe in the woods. Sure guys have talked sex to me, but I either make a joke of it and keep them as a friend or get pissed off and delete them. However, in this case it was so different . . . almost unimaginably so. It was magnetic.
To me, Daniel was an old soul reincarnated: a spirit much like mine. You may wonder why I call him a reincarnated old soul. Well, not too many people write in OLD ENGLISH and are passionate about doing so. Therefore, it was definitely odd that he and I would come together on the net. Although he had come from a non-traditional background, he was extremely intelligent and intellectual and had come through a major self-transformation of character. In addition, he was a REAL dominant male with a strong yet lovingly gentle side. Sure, I tested him, however, he quickly put me in my place. This scared the crap of me. All of this in a nut shell was quite attractive. I guess you can say that I fell head over heels.
Although this man is my junior in years, he greatly surpassed me in maturity as I am quite childlike. Imagine this if you will, this younger man, in cyberspace, was able to humble this naturally strong woman with mere type written words. In me being humbled by him, I realized that this is exactly what I wanted. I admired his strength and power as that is what I had been seeking, but only I did not know it. He said and showed things to me that stirred me as I have never been stirred before. This is not to say that I am a sexual ignoramus, however, I realized that there is a great deal that I don't know.
Daniel conjured feeling within me that both scared and excited me. At his words, my heart would flutter, my pulse would race, and a lump would form in my throat. These were uncontrolled feelings that were invading my body and I did not know how to handle it. He said I feared the unknown. How can this be as almost everything sexually is more at the imagined level than at reality. Therefore, it has always been unknown yet it never scared me. He made me fear to the point of saturation. There was also a gentle loving side to this nature that intrigued me to no end. Let's just say that the punishment and reward system he utilized drove me over the edge.
It seems that we were both eager to meet and although Daniel lives a great distance from me, I was willing to meet him. Yeah, I was willing to trek off to some unknown place to meet a total stranger. I know that is a crazy thing to do. However, my being was pulled to him much like he was as magnetic as Sven Gali.
MY ATTITUDE
I don't know if being from Brooklyn or just my upbringing gave me my attitude problem, but unfortunately, it did not sit well with him. He also did not like my diet and questioned my level of commitment to him considering we had not met. I usually don't get upset, however, when my attitude, diet, and level of commitment were a matter of him questioning my mental and physical health stability, I got miffed and justly so. Although my diet had not been the greatest, I am not one who seeks to be ill. Unfortunately, I had become ill and did not know why. This brought me to the doctor and I attempted and succeeded in rectifying the situation. As for my level of commitment, well, all I can say is that I thought I found a gem and being the ever so loyal puppy, I did commit myself to him. I could not help doing so.
It is crazy to say that at my age I am still naive and innocent. Maybe I have held myself too closely and too tightly. However, when I did attempt to throw care to the wind, my stability was questioned. That is very odd for me as I have never thought about stability before. What is stability? Is stability a structured life? If it is a matter of structure, then I am a very unstable individual as I live my life on a "whatever" basis. There are no set times for anything or anyone. Well, there is no one so that issue is moot.
THE REALITY OF IT ALL
All in all, I think he may have played me, but I am not sure. In any event, it was well worth it. Am I mad at him? No, but I am disappointed. The little kid in me believed and that is such a major weakness on my part. Regardless of whether it is a weakness or not, my child does serve its purpose as I can sit in wide eyed wonderment and find things around me totally amazing. I guess we will remain friends for as long as he will have me. ~ Maggie - 3/12/06
FINDING DANIEL
While I was away in NY, a wonderful and exciting e-mail was left in my mailbox. I don't usually get sexual yet poetic e-mail so this totally intrigued me. Of course I wrote back as I wondered about the author of the e-mail and the author of the poetry. I came to learn that HE was the poet, and being a writer of poetry myself, this only intrigued me more.
Damn I am just a babe in the woods. Sure guys have talked sex to me, but I either make a joke of it and keep them as a friend or get pissed off and delete them. However, in this case it was so different . . . almost unimaginably so. It was magnetic.
To me, Daniel was an old soul reincarnated: a spirit much like mine. You may wonder why I call him a reincarnated old soul. Well, not too many people write in OLD ENGLISH and are passionate about doing so. Therefore, it was definitely odd that he and I would come together on the net. Although he had come from a non-traditional background, he was extremely intelligent and intellectual and had come through a major self-transformation of character. In addition, he was a REAL dominant male with a strong yet lovingly gentle side. Sure, I tested him, however, he quickly put me in my place. This scared the crap of me. All of this in a nut shell was quite attractive. I guess you can say that I fell head over heels.
Although this man is my junior in years, he greatly surpassed me in maturity as I am quite childlike. Imagine this if you will, this younger man, in cyberspace, was able to humble this naturally strong woman with mere type written words. In me being humbled by him, I realized that this is exactly what I wanted. I admired his strength and power as that is what I had been seeking, but only I did not know it. He said and showed things to me that stirred me as I have never been stirred before. This is not to say that I am a sexual ignoramus, however, I realized that there is a great deal that I don't know.
Daniel conjured feeling within me that both scared and excited me. At his words, my heart would flutter, my pulse would race, and a lump would form in my throat. These were uncontrolled feelings that were invading my body and I did not know how to handle it. He said I feared the unknown. How can this be as almost everything sexually is more at the imagined level than at reality. Therefore, it has always been unknown yet it never scared me. He made me fear to the point of saturation. There was also a gentle loving side to this nature that intrigued me to no end. Let's just say that the punishment and reward system he utilized drove me over the edge.
It seems that we were both eager to meet and although Daniel lives a great distance from me, I was willing to meet him. Yeah, I was willing to trek off to some unknown place to meet a total stranger. I know that is a crazy thing to do. However, my being was pulled to him much like he was as magnetic as Sven Gali.
MY ATTITUDE
I don't know if being from Brooklyn or just my upbringing gave me my attitude problem, but unfortunately, it did not sit well with him. He also did not like my diet and questioned my level of commitment to him considering we had not met. I usually don't get upset, however, when my attitude, diet, and level of commitment were a matter of him questioning my mental and physical health stability, I got miffed and justly so. Although my diet had not been the greatest, I am not one who seeks to be ill. Unfortunately, I had become ill and did not know why. This brought me to the doctor and I attempted and succeeded in rectifying the situation. As for my level of commitment, well, all I can say is that I thought I found a gem and being the ever so loyal puppy, I did commit myself to him. I could not help doing so.
It is crazy to say that at my age I am still naive and innocent. Maybe I have held myself too closely and too tightly. However, when I did attempt to throw care to the wind, my stability was questioned. That is very odd for me as I have never thought about stability before. What is stability? Is stability a structured life? If it is a matter of structure, then I am a very unstable individual as I live my life on a "whatever" basis. There are no set times for anything or anyone. Well, there is no one so that issue is moot.
THE REALITY OF IT ALL
All in all, I think he may have played me, but I am not sure. In any event, it was well worth it. Am I mad at him? No, but I am disappointed. The little kid in me believed and that is such a major weakness on my part. Regardless of whether it is a weakness or not, my child does serve its purpose as I can sit in wide eyed wonderment and find things around me totally amazing. I guess we will remain friends for as long as he will have me. ~ Maggie - 3/12/06
Friday, March 10, 2006
Untitled~
Thou wilt gaze into mine eyes and I into thine
Thou wilt feel the tenderness of my lips as we melt in soft kisses
Thou wilt know the warmth of my heart beating close to thee
Thou hast touched my soul on levels yet uncharted
Oh gladness!
My soul floats as a feather on the breath of the wind
Thou breathes and thy breath is wind
Controlled is my flight to thee ~ Maggie ~ March 10, 2006
Thou wilt feel the tenderness of my lips as we melt in soft kisses
Thou wilt know the warmth of my heart beating close to thee
Thou hast touched my soul on levels yet uncharted
Oh gladness!
My soul floats as a feather on the breath of the wind
Thou breathes and thy breath is wind
Controlled is my flight to thee ~ Maggie ~ March 10, 2006
Sunday, March 5, 2006
Hark!
Hark! Thy words sink deeply into my soul
Ever so sweetly thou'st hast poured into me
Quench my thirst for thee with thy wine
That which is sweet and beckons me
Come! Hast thou not known!
Alas, thou'st cannot cease the roar of the fires of heart
These thy wish to maintain
As thou hast fed my heart
Touching my very fiber ~ Arachne- 3/5/06
Ever so sweetly thou'st hast poured into me
Quench my thirst for thee with thy wine
That which is sweet and beckons me
Come! Hast thou not known!
Alas, thou'st cannot cease the roar of the fires of heart
These thy wish to maintain
As thou hast fed my heart
Touching my very fiber ~ Arachne- 3/5/06
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