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Saturday, September 29, 2007

Spring/Fall

Poetic is my nature as I see things in not so cut and dry ways. The spring starts as an awakening as buds start to appear and soon blossom into leaves. Flowers spring forth and show lovely displays of color and whispers of fragrance. In the busy scheme of things, the beauty of life goes unnoticed as it has become unimportant. As you spring forth, I fall away...tis a time of change. The colors that manifest are bold and beautiful and a far cry in color from what was. The smell in the air is different as you can smell what has fallen away...you can smell the change. Soon the snow and wisps of cold will be here and slumber will begin. Something in me wants this to be the last slumber of this vicious cycle we are in. It is hoped that when life is reborn again, it will awaken to the beauty of it all and life's true meaning. ~ Maggie ~ 9/29/07

Sunday, September 23, 2007

False Light

The stars how they twinkle in the midnight sky
Yet go unseen by city eyes
Captured only by eyes open amidst the brush                   
Whose scent is as sweet as the view
If only I could see you... ~ Maggie ~ September 23, 2007 @ 4:31 a.m. EST

Saturday, September 22, 2007

9/22/07

Journal Entries:

Ozzy came in again and we discussed the universe and the connections thereof. He mentioned planet X and also Nicola Tesla. Ozzy is very much into science and he too senses that something is to occur very soon. A massive change. He understands as I do that death is not real as we are as eternal as time and space. He mentioned the meteor that hit Peru, but I had known about it already...sickness (headache and nausea) were a result or supposed result of the dust created from the impact. The hole was 65' wide and 15' deep. Okay, so I can remember certain things if not all.

Ozzy and I talked about much and hugs and respect were exchanged. He too sees respect and love as the answer to our problems. When he asked where did you learn Spanish I said NYC! Where else?

Also noted: He sees religion as an operative to control man. He also sees the same in government and corporation. Ah, the connections of positive energy do outweigh the negative.

BTW, feeling sad is not a negative energy if your heart is in the right place.

Regardless of how much negative energy is had, Ozzy stated that the positive energy can and will cancel out the negative as the positive is very powerful.

Muchos gracais (sp?) Ozzy!

Note: It feels good to say thank you in Arabic, French, Spanish, Mohawk, Italian, and Chinese (two dialects)!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Love, Life, and Friends...

Hearing the sadness in his voice cut through my heart to my inner core. My tears were held back until we bid each other goodnight. Silently, I let the tears roll as I did not want to howl out the sadness within myself for my company to hear. The sound is like that of a wounded animal. The control that I had to issue over myself was necessary, however, that control is lost right now as I am alone at work. When needed, I turn on the happy face and pretend that all is "ducky." Unfortunately, my voice is a dead giveaway...it is hushed....soft...broken.

Tonight Peter "Pappy" is coming to diner. He, John, and I will eat and hang. However, I think that I will not be good company. C'est la vie. I almost dread hanging this evening as I really would rather be alone to openly wail...to howl out my hurt in unspoken words...to howl out my hurt in spoken words...to let out what I now hold inside....~ Arachne ~ Penned prior to 3:00 p.m. on September 18, 2007.

Pappy heard it in my voice when he called to say he got pulled over. He knew that I was not myself, but I waited until he got here to tell him what was up. I have to give the man credit for being considerate enough to call considering his situation. What a guy! As I thought and told him over the phone, he was given a stiff fine and let go. He made it to diner after all. This evening's diner was angel hair pasta in a dill cream sauce. Pappy, being the ever lively type did manage to make me laugh out loud, but still a far cry from my normal self. He is a great friend. I did tell John that Pappy does not talk he yells. Tonight he was not as loud and John thought him to be loud. When we head to Pappy's this week, John will hear LOUD! :-)

Well, my aunt called right after diner and she is coming in from Long Island on the 28th so I will have two house guests. While on the phone, the guys blabbed and my ears could not pick up on the conversation. Pish. Neither would tell me what they discussed. Ah, I don't twist arms.

Called Gracie just to say I LOVE and MISS YOU! We talked for a bit and I heard it in her voice as she heard it in mine...I LOVE YOU. She told me of the friend album she has and that I am the only one in it. When I said to her "you have other friends" she said she "chucked them long ago" as they weren't real. Lisa (her daughter) told me that I was her only real friend. She told me this on more than one occasion. Shit, friends till the end even if stabbed slightly in the back, I can look the other way for the greater good.

My heart is pretty big and open. Right now, regardless of all the friends and all the love, I still hurt. The mask fades slowly away and the tears of a clown come running down if not seen then heard in the hush of my voice... ~ Arachne ~ 9/18/07 @ 8:31 p.m.

Matter of the Heart

The heart bleeds many wounds that are self inflicted
The mutilation is almost unbearable
Yet, strength must be held to preserve what is...
What might come to be...
And what might never come to be
Clairvoyant tendencies run in my veins
Thus I see what is to come
A great rift of drift will slowly occur
Calm words spoken in sweet ears
Where not meant to bring forth sorrow
More at stating acceptance and understanding of him
And peace to self
To cease the tears and the hurt
How the calm words of truth hurt me
Knowing that it made him sad
I was a real trooper on the outside
No quiver of voice
No loss of stability
No show of emotion
Just truths in proper form
I have learned from him
He granted me the ability to evolve
And finally I found out that he learned from me
Where this will go is anyone's guess
Pure love in its true most stable form
Accepts what is and what is not
The whole of the individual
The shining beam in the night sky
Still gives way to the dark recesses that see mere shadows of the past
A past that generated the present outlook and fear
Within me lies the spark that goes far beyond Eros
Whose components SCREAM I am a square peg
And you are a square hole
We fit!
I believe with all my heart he may now see it
But with certainty, I cannot say
He needs to care for self
Understandably so!
Had he asked me to WAIT, I would faithfully do so
As he is not selfish, he did not ask
Had he asked and not come through
I would shatter myself
Anger would not be had toward him as that is not pure love
It would have been a freewill decision on my part
Thus, only I could be held responsible for my actions or lack thereof
Pure love looks towards another's happiness over their own
Fine balance and fine tuning
There is a form of harmony that comes with belonging
Perhaps the winds shall blow the sails in a different direction
One that heads his heart to me of his own accord ~ Maggie ~ September 18, 2007 @ 2:24 a.m.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Natural Life

To sleep perchance to dream
Of dark skies filled with radiant moon
Embracing ground
Whose waters trickle and tickle the ears
In a countryside living amongst nature
One with nature
The embodiment of the whole           
Star filled nights sparkle the eyes
Mesmerizing the gazer of the heavens
Seeing the true aspects we are a part of
Rising after a peaceful slumber to greet the dawn
The red ball of beauty that rises in the eastern horizon
To wish to live amongst the living that nature has provided
The wish for a more natural world and life
Accepting what the mother provides
Rather than raping her
To rape her causes her to fight back for life with a vengeance
The vengeance she will surely have
This was of our own making ~ Maggie ~ September 13, 2007 @ 3:12 p.m. EST

Where does love find logic?

October 26th, 2006 will mark one year to the day that I first started conversing with my love. We met in April and again in July, but yet we are still apart and perhaps will forever be.

Under my own judgment, I though I could apply logic to the situation to make the blues vanish and to set my heart free, but it does not apply. Therefore, I ponder how to change that which I cannot perform without destroying something.

Granted, respect is given at every level on both our parts and a deep caring friendship is there. However, on my part I am guilty of love on another level. Not one of superficial Eros, but one that goes much deeper. One that defies time and distance. One that will strive with all it contains not to hurt another even at the risk of hurting self (which I am doing).

Life does go on and I do have friends, interests, and things to do. Yet he is always with me. He lingers in my heart, mind, spirit, and minds eye. No, I don't want him to go away. On the contrary. What I have here is something I am not familiar with. Something that defies me.

How does one stop that higher level of love in favor of and to save a friendship? I must respect and keep within the parameter set not of my own wishes.

This is the logic table I came up with:

1. Be true to yourself and in turn you will be false to no man. (Paraphrased from Hamlet)

2. To love hurts, but feels good and is therefore justified.

3. In order not to hurt someone, you damage yourself. Then again, a truth is not said.

4. If truth is said, someone gets hurt and thus you hurt by hurting them.

What to do? Can anyone offer a suggestion that does not cause damage to the relationship? ~ Maggie ~ September 13, 2007 @ 5:01 a.m. EST

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Daddy Long Legs In My Shower

Yesterday morning, like every other morning, I turned on the water so that I could shower. Unlike most mornings, there was a sopping wet Daddy Long Legs in my shower. As I did not want him/her to go down the drain, I picked him/her up and put him/her on the towel bar where he/she walked away undamaged.

This morning Daddy was in my shower again and got soaked, only this time he/she did not move about or scurry away on the floor. From my place in the shower and its place on the floor, I was trying to see if it was alright, but I made it more wet so I stopped my action. Upon getting out of the shower, I picked poor wet Daddy up and placed him/her on my sink and hoped for the best. He/she looked dead or passed out at best.

Upon returning home from work, I found Daddy all comfortable IN my sink. He/she did not mind me talking to it nor mind me letting it scan my finger. This one only had 7 legs too. At least it kept its scanning leg and was alive and well.

As I am forever nosy, I got my magnifying glass in order to have a better face to face interaction with my new guest. From what I could see, my buddy has two big black eyes and is a most gentle creature.

It is really weird that he/she has found a home in my sink as I was calling around for a small dog for a pet. A real small dog that could fit in my purse. Daddy, unlike a dog, can take care of him/herself and I am comfortable with that and I think Daddy is comfortable with me.

Anyone wishing to come to my home, be warned as there are webs spanning most of my porch and it is filled with spiders of all sizes, shapes, and colors making glorious webs that are only visible by night in the blue light. ~ Maggie ~ September 11, 2007 @ 8:08 p.m. EST

Yeah you can call me SPIDER WOMAN. See the pics of my new pet in the pics section of my profile.

*HE/SHE DIED. I NOTICED IT AT AROUND 3:40 a.m. EST and so he/she was put to rest in Einstein's pot. ~

September 11

Six years ago, a tragic and deceitful act was committed by the United States of America against the people who dwell in that country.  The country and city of my birth.  New York City was struck and lives were lost so that a patriotic act of going to war to fight terrorism would occur.  Unfortunately, those who went off to battle and those that still go, do not realize that they are not protecting the people of their country, they are fighting to make the wealthy more wealthy.  They fight so the United States will have a puppet government in the middle east to do their bidding.  Ah yes, it is all in the name of money and power.  Mind you, it does not stop at government, look at your local corporation(s) as the head honcho(s) control the government.  Check out the major campaign contributors.

Don’t the good people of this earth see how simple things could be if in unity we all turned our backs?  That simple peaceful act (done globally) would tear their fiber...pull the rug out from those who CONTROL us.  If the people worked for the people and we helped one another and loved one another as we love ourselves, what a fine world we would have.

Earth belongs to everyone and we should not have to pay to live.  Sure we would have to work, but we would not be taxed.  Besides, our work would reward us with LIFE!  Only the basics are necessary: food, shelter, clothes, water, air.  In a self reliant society of global proportions, we could accomplish this feat.  We could tear down the cement age and replace it with an age of cooperation, learning, living, loving, and greenery.  What we give to the earth will be given back to us.  In this stage of TAKING and “dog eat dog,” we are on the road to destruction.  Not that I want life destroyed, however, it would be far better for what isn’t yet, but what it could become.

As said before, I hold no allegiance to god nor country.  The people are my only concern.  Perhaps they will see the light before the light comes to burn out their eyes for lack of reason.  As they will not believe the unbelievable to be true and having not the openness to acknowledge or understand, they will hurl themselves to their death.

It may look like the crash of ‘29, yet at that point it was only the rich.  This time round, it will be the rich (shepherd puppet masters) and the rest (sheep puppets).  I as wolf or spider do not need a shepherd.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing acquires information from sheep.  It listens to the illogical thoughts and watches the illogical acts.  Although the wolf is normally a predator of sheep when hungry, knowledge of the being is enough to feed this wolf’s hunger.

Let us not forget who is the real terrorist...OUR GOVERNMENT...OUR CORPORATION...OUR RELIGION.  ~ Maggie ~ Penned prior to 3:00 p.m. EST on September 11, 2007.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Reach Out

Unworldly, ungodly, unrighteous, and contemptuous
Are the things that surround us
Yet, a light burns bright in areas darkened
Darkened by the skin that cloaks and gives stealth
To that which cannot be destroyed
The very essence of which acts like a beacon
To stray ships who cannot see the shore            
Or rock riddled entry to port
Storms are what we face,
But we need not face them alone
Find love in your fellow and he/she will find love in you
A pure kind that is transferable to others
Reach out and touch someone!

* Marie was there today when I needed to talk to someone... to let it out. She had never seen me cry before, but I did not stop myself from doing so. Her hug, warm words, and simple playing with my hair made me feel better. Karma was working. She was there for me as I had been there for her. Thanks so much for being my friend sweet Marie.

My thoughts and feelings were written in my journal and will never be posted. However, what I did journal must now be acted upon for my own good and the good of someone else. ~ September 9, 2007 @ 4:55 p.m. EST

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Visions

Off to the right...
Red surrounded by black
A red whose center changes not only in image but in color
Tendrils spill upward in a haze of yellow
Noted an E within the red who shape was sure to be seen as three dimensional RAISED
Turquoise blue of the deepest color thrust into a lighter shade of same
Whose center opens and devours
Only to create a new specter of color
Triangulated
In a darkened sky lit only by the breaking dawn
Cast shadows upon the sands
Quickly and without haste, the sun rises in the WEST
Hanging in mid-sky
Countering the clock almost in an instant ~ Maggie ~ September 5, 2007 @ 12:26 a.m. EST
(Today is mother's birthday.)

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

WHO?

Plumage of a peacock bids to be known as it boasts itself
And struts along
Yet a bedraggled sparrow hedges notice
However, a heart uses it eyes to see that which is not so apparent
There is beauty without boast in the reality of it all
Grace of a swan
Speed of a Cheetah
Eye of falcon by day and owl by night
Tongue of snake
Hair of chinchilla
Heart of a philosopher
Mind of a poet
Hand of a painter
Feet of a dancer
Fingers of a musician
Lips that elicit sweet words of song
Strength of lion
Will of IRON
It will not be wrong
Who might this be? I know not! Tis but an undertaking in fantasy. ~ Maggie ~ September 4, 2007 @ 8:17 p.m. EST

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Willow Willow

Having taken from the earth
I am going to return something to it
My drying willow is for my doing
And was graciously taken from a polite weeper
Another large piece of willow was also taken for growth
It has taken root in water and will be planted in early November
Beyond where the vegetable garden was
The willow will be planted
Growth will come as it is lowland
Come the thaw and rains
Great nourishment will be had ~ Maggie ~ September 2, 2007 @ 8:10 p.m. EST
Willow willow will not be cast down
Praise up and upon that which weeps
Tis naught of sorrow
But for shade and splendor
Near my two pines ~ Maggie