Herstory~

Why the hell do folks take the patriarch path down the la la trail? Meh! Anyway, blah blah blah... Herstory NOT history. Yeah. I can go for that. In tearing the house apart yesterday, I came upon some shit from a guy I dumped. Yeah I loved him, but he was not quite above board with me. That does not sit well in any shape or form. I don't like games. Okay, so he said that I gave him a nervous breakdown and he almost ate his gun, but the hospitalization did him well and he seemed okay...except for his mama problems and me.

To get someone's goat in the sex department and they go nuts with it is not my problem. Seriously. You would think that being a federal agent, he would have more above board yes? NO.

I don't know what it is with some catholics of Sicilian origin and their mama, but damn, get over it and let go of the skirt. That is what caused the break of Anthony and I. He was a US Immigration Agent working out of Kennedy Airport and I was a database coordinator working for AIA. Well this nimrod was afraid that his mama would not be able to handle my single motherhood, my dyed platinum blond hair, nor my tatts. Thus he kept me from her, but she knew about me as she cooked for me. Hell, she lived downstairs as his parents owned the house.

He was dumped as I did not find him honest. He knew I was pissed when he came to my apartment and I blew smoke in his face. He was not a smoker and I was being totally rude. After he left, I called him and told him I want my shit back and that I did not want to see him anymore. I offered to give him back what he gave me, but he wanted me to keep it.

Every poem and letter that this man ever wrote to me was torn to shreds. He sometimes wrote me two snail mail letters per day despite the fact that he lived only a few blocks from me. When he found out what I did to all that he wrote, he cried. He did return all that I ever wrote him which he so nicely stapled to cardboard for preservation. I house what "I" wrote in the wooden box he had bought my that bears the inscription "Maggie's Soul." As for the $300 + porcelain angel that he bought me, I sold it and gave the black silk Victoria's Secret robe to a friend. The only possession that I have from him now is the last of his bullshit pictures, a US Immigration Inspector patch, and that box.

In a letter dated "forever," he wrote:

Forever

My Love,

I can’t live without you. I will always love you and would be honored and blessed to have you as my love into eternity. Will you marry me....

Love,

Anthony

After I broke it off with him...

Oct. 95

Maggie

Wishing you all the best in life. I know I can’t change the way you think or feel about me. But God knows I was always on your side and showed a real concern about you. You were right about the Angel, Nicky was also in my mind when I acquired it. Keep it, the gift was given with sincere intentions.

Take care.

Peace,

Anthony


As you can see, I returned the envelope to him, but he delivered it back to me. Hell, he even had Lourdes water in there. Oh my!! As you will note the return stated: You give me nothing to believe in! You do not exist in my world.

~ Maggie ~ February 25, 2010 @ 8:01 p.m. EST