Half Truths~

Why bother telling a half truth when silence will equal a lie just as well? The silence may not be caught unless it breaks a pattern that is known to exist. However, to speak a half truths one day and then speak the full truth four days later when something that he said is not jiving with the listener (me) is fucked. Yes I listen very well. Perhaps he thought it might go unnoticed, but no. Well not just no, but FUCK NO! If he is lying and he gives me some details of truth, such as he and Annie the shithead are getting together to go to the movies, no biggie as she is PATHETIC and I don’t give a shit that he hangs with her. Then again, it makes me start to wonder how PATHETIC he is to hang with her. Maybe he needs ego boosting, but I find that NEEDY and I despise NEEDY. Awww he needs company. Boo hoo and wha wha wha. Will no one else come hang with him? According to him: NO.

This is the same bitch that cyber stalked me. This is the same bitch who I blasted publicly via a blog with information that he provided me with. This 40+ year old woman NEVER had a relationship with a man. Why? First off, she is ugly and fat. Second, she is a cling-on in that if a guy pays her a tad of attention she is all over him like white on rice. The smart ones (expect him) never stick around because she is nuts. Not a good nuts either. She is a fucked up insecure asshole with no life kind of nuts.

Has he ever fucked her? Yes he has, but he had done so safely and with lots of lube. Dry as a duck's ass. Uh huh. When he and his ex broke up, he HOOKED UP with this idiot on the rebound. Merrily she went around singing “I have a boyfriend.” However, that was not the case. She was his unstable fuck friend and nothing more. When she knew I would be at his house, she would call over and over and over again. This did get to me and finally I told him to talk to her as the ringing was too spastic. When this bitch was writing to me, she was all boo hoo because I met his mom 5 months into our relationship and it took her 2 ½ years. Shit, if I had a snot cloth I would leave that snot cloth in the closet too.

Anyway, had he told me that he and Annie shithead were renting a movie to watch at his house, I would not have had a problem with that. Why couldn’t that just be said? Why the wait? It is fucked to get busted in a lie isn’t it? Maybe he shouldn’t have told me the name of the movie. That was his bad. Maybe his bad was just lying in the first place. Truth is so much better. Would I have cared if that cow was at his house? No. DO CARE that he LIED? You're damned straight that I do. ~ Maggie ~ December 6, 2011 @ 11:02 p.m. EST.

From her on Jan. 12, 2009: 

Maggie,

I love the BDSM images of you with my boyfriend in your little video. You're a piece of work, lady. Have you no self respect?

You do know he and I've been together for the last two and half years? You do know I stayed up with him two nights while he outfitted his bike, washed the clothes he wore to Starwood, and sewed his backpack the day he left for his trip? You do know that I was the rebound girlfriend he started seeing less than a week after he broke up with Heather in 2006?

And you do know that he'll treat you the way he treats me. Right?

He calls me a stalker because I've looked at your pictures and read your posts. I fail to see how that qualifies as stalking, since your life seems to be a wide open book, available for the world to see. (As a fellow abused child and incest survivor, I have bad boundaries, too.)

Truth is, he must care about you a great deal. I didn't get introduced to his family until this Christmas, whereas you were invited to his mother's house for b-day parties, scrabble and cheesecake within five months of meeting. (Thanks for sharing the sweet photos.)

I suggest you move back to New York and give this your best shot, because he really does seem to care about you. I'm sure it's not a case of a commitmentphobe giving his all to a person who's living in another country and therefore not an actual commitment threat. You do know that commitmentphobes throw themselves full force at the current object of seduction, and it's really fun when he learns you're hooked; i.e., fallen in love; and his commitment fear rears its ugly head. (For the record, I'm a commitmentphobe, too; otherwise, I'd behave with more self respect, too. I have friends who are polyamorous, although I'm not, and hopefully you are, too. If not, you're in for quite a ride.)

But if you don't move back, could you have some common decency and stop seeing another woman's man?

As for me, I'll hope this latest online insult of you blindfolded and bound, will be the blessing in disguise I need to start walking another path with a man who loves only me. The way I deserve. (And if you have the secret for how to stop loving a man who sleeps with other women, I'm all ears.)

Of course the news that you had unprotected sex with him was the all-time low for me. How cute to hear you brought your clean bill of sexual health, in French, no less. He tried to claim that the unprotected sex just happened ... and he told me about it 15 minutes before we were going to have sex on New Year's Eve ... and, of course, didn't. But contrary to what he said, it seems to me the two of you were planning to have unprotected sex; otherwise, why did you bring your medical records?

He and I have never had unprotected sex. It's just another of the many ways you're special to him, and about which I'm bitter.

I can't begin to tell you how much I dislike having negative feelings about a person I never met. It's absurd and ridiculous. Fact is, he probably won't talk to me again for having contacted you. You may be happy and satisfied to know your constant online history of your relationship with him has broken my heart and I've shed more tears about you than you could ever imagine.

Did he never tell you about me? Or did you know about me and think it was really fun to post the history of your courtship online to really rub it in? Either way, it's a messed up situation, and I know I'm the biggest fool in this whole equation because I had so much of the information.

I hope you'll be very happy together.

-Annie C.J. R. (I'm on Facebook and Myspace, too) Jan 12, 2009
 
Stalking again??

Am I being stalked yet again by an individual of pathetic nature who has no fucking life? If so, get a fucking life bitch!!! You really make me sick and my stomach churns at your disgustingly sad, fat, ugly, pathetic nature/life. Ah, so you did get a dog. HA HA HA You remind me of a discarded snot cloth. ~ M ~ January 2, 2010 @ 2:00 p.m. EST


A Stalking Bitch's Words and My Reply

WHA WHA WHA LMAO Ah, fuck you!

Correspondence of February 24, 2009 . By the way, she is still a dumb fuck, whining, fat bitch fuck, attention whore who is still stalking me. Hey Shithead (a/k/a Annie), in the event you read this, don't flatter yourself thinking everyone will know it is you as you are NOT the popular type. Pathetic is not popular. All that matters is that YOU know it is YOU. Let your ass be humiliated you shallow drone. ~ M ~ February 2, 2010

Shithead’s words are in blue and mine are in white and red.

Dear Annie ~
Dear Maggie,

As you were witness to one of my rawest days, you're observations are right on the money. When I get in the grip of my abandonment fears, it can feel devastating and quite overwhelming, almost as if I'm going to burst from the emotional pressure. I'm just grateful I was able to resist any urge to drive to HIS house and make a total scene. As I'm a quadruple Leo, drama is most definitely part of my personality. In fact, I'm quite a passionate person. Alas every strength has its weakness. At least that's my experience..

WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS? HIGH SCHOOL? As far as I am concerned, GROW THE FUCK UP! I was witness to your bizarre nature and I personally think you are fucked in the head and in serious need of help. I would help you as my background is in psychology, but I already did your analysis and you need MEDS. I would read you off my diagnosis, but nah!

Babes, you should have come to HIS house to show your ass as I really would have liked that. We could have had a party! Why don’t you do that next time as I am sure it would provide a most jolly experience. Recommendation, if you do that, be prepared to throw the first punch or be prepared to have a threesome. Are you willing to do either? LMFAO! Mind you, I don’t and won’t fight over a man as no man is worth it INCLUDING HE. By the way, HE KNOWS THAT! HOWEVER, when you violate ME PERSONALLY, your ass is MINE! Do you really think I care what sign you are? Get real and stick it up your ass!

You speak of passion? Meh. I just see a whinny ass crippled crow looking to hold on to a man who she does not have to begin with. Where is your mind in the scope of reality? Are you desperate? I would say YES. Will no one else look at you? From the looks of you, I would say NO. IF you had any experience whatsoever, you would use it and use it wisely and not stupidly as you have. Not for anything, from what I can make of you, you have the personality of a fluff ball and remind me of the kids I used to slap as they walked to the retarded section of the school for their SLOW CLASSES.

What you don't and can't know is that yesterday's experience is not the sum of me. I'm 17.5 years sober, on a path for self-healing for quite some time, I do take all the actions you so aptly suggested. If I were a total basket case, I doubt HE and I would have been together for so long, and the fact is we've known each other for a long, long time; albeit only in the more recent times as lovers.

Ah, but you are a basket case! I don’t care how long you have been sober or on your path to self-healing. As far as I am concerned, you are a sick bitch. Put it this way, I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS about you and if you died NOW, I WOULD NOT GIVE A FUCK. I don’t even care that you live. As for how long you and HE have been together and what you do with him and for how long, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK about that either. If you are looking to mark territory, buy a dildo and put your name on it or piss on a pole. In your desperation for a man, I would say sell that ass of yours, but I don’t think you would fetch much. Have you thought about buying a dog? You could have sex with the dog and the dog will love you! Is that an idea or what?

In the absurdity of the situation, I'm sure I provided you with quite a laugh. Perhaps I'd have done the same if someone else intruded the way I did yesterday, but then again I don't generally make light of other people's suffering. And I was suffering. Oddly enough, even your e-mail brought me some comfort. Although I may seem to have terrible self-esteem -- and it's true that at times I do -- I know that my emotional response is quite human compared to the fact that the man I've loved for so long was intimate with another, once again. In all areas of my life, I stopped punishing myself for being human a long time, and I accept myself as I am. When I fail to direct my energy in a positive fashion, it is always a learning experience. I suspect yesterday will be no exception.

Yuppers on the laugh part. Even this correspondence is giving me a jolly. I should post it to show your pathetic nature to everyone on the net. How does that sound? Would you like that babes? Only in your wildest dreams do you wish you could take it like I do. YOU CAN’T as YOU ARE WEAK AND PATHETIC and I AM NOT! If we had a threesome, I would bitch slap you silly and make you crawl like a dog! YES. I would probably boot you in the ass with my steel toe Doc Martens just for good measure.

Incidentally, I know you are no stranger to pain. I did read your Thanksgiving gratitude list in November. With few exceptions, I could have written the same list myself. And added several more for good measure. I'm not saying this to enlist your sympathy. I don't view myself as a pitiful person, even yesterday. Instead, I'm grateful that I have the capacity to feel the full range of my feelings. I know the depth and breadth of me. I don't view tears or feeling pain as a shameful thing. In fact, I believe the ability to feel so deeply it one of my gifts. It's one of the reasons I'm able to empathize with others. I'm a healer.

Oh, so you read my Thanksgiving list huh? I am flattered. However, I LEARNED and YOU DID NOT. Even if your list is bigger than mine, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. YOU HAVE NOT LEARNED so get that through that thick lame brain of yours (if you have a brain). Back to the drawing board with you ANNIE! Come to Sister Arachne and bear your knuckles to the ruler for busting. YOU FAIL! RECALL ANNIE to the BOT FACTORY for re-programming! As you can tell, you will not get one drop of sympathy from me. YOU ARE A HEALER? HA HA HA HA and I am the second cuming of xist. I raise the dead. Did you not know that? Yo, do actually you read what you write and do you honestly believe yourself? If you believe yourself, you are worse off than I thought.

Do I wish that I hadn't felt the way I did yesterday? Yes. Do I wish that I could have recognized the state I was in and used some of the energy releasing techniques I've learned? Absolutely. Do I care if you laughed at my state, or that I annoyed HIM with my extreme behavior? Not the way you'd imagine. Do I intend to channel my emotions more effectively should such a situation arise again in the future? That is my intent. Do I wish to trouble you? Far from it. Do I think that you have similar commitment issues; otherwise, why would you be so deeply in love with a man you've spent less than a month with in real time? It's probably a bit callous of me to make such an observation this way; in fact, even writing something I sense you're unwilling to look at is a type of low blow that I know is improper for me to do.

Again, I DON’T GIVE A RAT’S ASS! YES I LAUGHED at your stupidity. As far as whether you annoyed HIM with your actions, I did not SEE annoyance as I was far too busy being jollied by your spaz. Why don’t you address him to find out if he was annoyed by them? By the way, are you a CLING-ON? A CLING-ON is a person who clings onto others like a blood sucking leech who won’t let go. Me thinks you are. Darling, don’t even attempt to think about my "issues" as you and I are different types of animals. You are WEAK and I am STRONG. Remember that. Also, I don’t NEED anyone, but apparently you do as you are CRIPPLED and INCAPABLE of doing for yourself. As far as low blows, you would not know where the fuck to start to strike me so don’t even bother trying. Ah, go for it...TRY IT! I would like to see what type of strategy you could come up with. It could be fun. At this stage of the game, ONLY I CAN HURT ME and that is a NO CAN DO. SHALL WE PLAY A GAME?

One other thing before I close. I felt bad not to respond to your e-mail that begins this chain with the earnestness I believe it merited, but certain conditions prevented me from making a timely response, and when circumstances would have allowed me to write back, I didn't feel comfortable to do so. I'll say now that I was touched by what you wrote, and I wish our interests did not intersect.

Hey, I felt for you once, but I feel nothing for you now. The door has closed so I DON'T GIVE A RAT’S ASS as to why you did not reply and I DON'T GIVE A RAT’S ASS that you were touched.

As ever, I know you're just trying to live your life, and it is with deep regret that your happiness to be with HIM seems to conflict with mine. On a spiritual level, I know there is enough of everything, including love, for everyone. But as a human being, I haven't managed to block my feelings when I feel threatened, and I'm not sure that's something to which I aspire. If I don't feel I'm getting burned, how will I learn to keep my hand out of the fire. But if I don't risk loving someone with all my heart, if I don't risk owning my desires, my needs, and who I am, how can I expect to blossom? This is what I've learned, and how I strive to live my life.

Man, you are stupid! I don’t need HIM or any man or being for my happiness as I have my happiness within myself. What is the matter with you woman? I LOVE ME FIRST AND FOREMOST ABOVE ALL INCLUDING MY OWN KID. That is the part you don’t get. EVERYTHING STARTS WITH SELF.

RUST IN PEACE!

P.S.: Your stupid cc to HIM is very babyish. Man, get a fucking life you attention whore! How do you like me now?

Her response~

February 2009

Gosh, Maggie. You really know how to hurt someone's feelings. (wink, wink) And this is the second time you threatened me with bodily harm. What's up with that?

Clearly, we both love writing; however, I must respectfully decline your offer to play a game or continue in some kind of epistolary sparring. Besides, you've already hurt me so badly with all of those unkind observations. No doubt about it, your much spunkier than I, and clearly made of much sterner stuff.

I would prefer that you don't publish/post anything I've written to you, and you certainly do not have my legal permission to do so. We clearly have a very different sense of decorum, and I prefer to keep my private life just that.

I fail to see how I've violated you personally, but if my original e-mail or any part of our correspondence felt like a violation you have my sincere apology.

For what it's worth, I cc HIM on these e-mails because he is the only reason we're in contact, and I'm not trying to do anything behind his back. It's not out of the question that I wrote to you as some kind of cry for attention. Heck there's an element of truth in much of what you wrote. Unfortunately, you misinterpret my intentions. I'm not trying to put you on the defense or offense. I'm not out to get you at all. It was foolish for me to reach out, but I guess I'm not surprised by any of your reactions.

Here's wishing you all the best,