Cause and Effect~

Being left with yourself allows for introspection as to the why behind the you that is a "terrified, depressed, and anxious person." Ah, so you have comorbidity. Don't worry as that is usually the case in our kind. Since you have already recognized the fact that you never liked or believed in yourself, find the underlying cause(s) and question yourself as to how you have come to be. It is in you, but you have to be truthful to yourself as to the how. Your demon is only you so you can address your demon with kind words and then kick its ass.

Music can sooth the savage beast as can any sound as it helps to drown out the noise that the mind's hamster wheel produces. Oh, that wheel can run and keep your mind popping with thoughts that are running faster that you can comprehend because you are probably not focused on one, but many which are running simultaneously...I think of scrambled eggs...it is all eggs but... Hey, eventually you face some, if not all, of your demons to show them who is boss. The trick is to believe that you are the boss. I have a bottle of moderate hubris I could sell you. Are you interested?

Politics, office or otherwise, is a device to produce the cookie cut out. I think of the kids in Pink Floyd's "The Wall." Do you remember how they all had uniforms and were walking like sheep to the slaughter? Actually, it was a huge ass meat grinder. I guess you did not want to become chopped meat. What was the straw that broke the camel's back that had you jump off the conveyer belt? It would seem that was an act of focused intent, but I could be wrong. You bailed and again you know why. The little voice in your head tells you, but it whispers so you have to listen. You must have listened...cause and effect. ~ Arachne ~ 9/17/14 in the p.m.