EDITED: Too Much Thought...No productivity
This is what I can grasp at the moment. Life before church and state. NOTE: I would prefer to be happy in the dark than miserable in the light. This will be returned upon with more thought. Noted below is a dialogue that I had with a friend, however, my friend's name or verse is not included. I just want opinions from whoever is reading. You can e-mail if you do not want to leave a comment. As this is taken from a dialogue, there are holes and it may sound like a crazy person talking to themselves. Rest assured this is not the case. Please feel free to give me your opinion and if you laugh, I'll kill you! Just kidding.
I really want to work on SIN/EVIL
SIN and EVIL define restrictions of nature by society
Yes...they are words of ploy
Religious/political one in the same...
Restriction on freedom to be as nature intended
Regardless of the nature
This may explain my morals
Programming...brainwashing residue
I long to dismiss my morals
I seek to know how
Animal instinct is what I am referring to
We are but ANIMALS
We may be a product of society, but SOCIETY IS A PRODUCT OF US!
Don't you see?
WE comprise society
We can change it
Grrrrrr - 4/28/06
I really need to think more about this...my bony fingers do grasp the fringes of darkness' skirt. Self recognition is a good thing for the most part. However, we also see our demons! I see that my value system does not allow for enjoyment, thus it is a broken value system that needs refurbishing. This value system hurts me more than helps me. Once my beast is fed...who will keep feeding that which hungers? What is the guarantee? Love brings a quasi guarantee that sexual desires will be regularly fulfilled... I need my desires free of restrictions. Love should not be necessary for sexual pleasure. It is not just of church, state, and society...it is ME and MY morals...the moral that has been BURNED in my head! I want it gone! I have to fix it! We are a corporate, religious, governmental body the body has limbs the people...the people put the body into motion. I have always been held by love's value: thus I hate societal norms. The norms are restrictive. We can change the motion. Does this make sense? My free thoughts are free and written and I want to act out that which I desire. Church, state, and society are one body. According to the church we should not be whores. I need fixing too much thought. I want the freedom to do. That is just it...can I let go? I want to! Teaching are the values of society be it church or state. Freedom without law would not be freedom...that is from an American government class...that does make sense in the wide scope of things as it would create lawlessness: rape and assault would go unpunished. Everything is contradictory! To just give you body out to your desires... would you get gang banged? Think about it so what is freedom? This is fucked. I do want that so what do I do? I wish it were that simple: I want to jump down the rabbit hole. I don't want to hide that is just it. I do not hide my desires...I hold my body back from acquiring pleasure that is because of the LOVE factor which I must rid myself of. I will turn it over and make it work a become the whore of Babylon! The weight is too heavy in the morals area and the scale has been tipped one way for too long. I have been deprived and starved. I need feeding. Let the sucker tilt the other way. I just need to let go once...just once! Should I over indulge, I will visit the vomitorium. Just once and the rest is easy. A vomitorium is where ancient romans would go after overeating only to go back and eat again. You only need to balance once on a bike to know how to ride for the rest of your life. The same holds true with the letting go of a ingrained moral. I need to let go once...and all is free! I sit on the fence not knowing where to go...my decision to sit does not leave me alternatives like one side or the other. I have to jump off the fence and run.... cleanse myself of the whore image no not afraid of freedom. I am not afraid of the label. Brain will not allow body to do what it wants. Body must overcome brain...just once...just once... 4/30/06
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