Conclusion:

Although I did not give up on he who I sought out, he has made it quite clear that he has no interest.  Oh well shit happens.  I am not mad nor am I upset as this scenario was prepared for.  Rejection is easy to handle if you have handled if from the best.  The best would be your parent.    You may think that maybe I purposefully influenced this outcome, but trust me I did not.  It seems that me being me is not tolerable.  Who else might I be then if not myself?  That is a good one to ponder. - 9/26/06