October 26th, 2006 will mark one year to the day that I first started conversing with my love. We met in April and again in July, but yet we are still apart and perhaps will forever be.
Under my own judgment, I though I could apply logic to the situation to make the blues vanish and to set my heart free, but it does not apply. Therefore, I ponder how to change that which I cannot perform without destroying something.
Granted, respect is given at every level on both our parts and a deep caring friendship is there. However, on my part I am guilty of love on another level. Not one of superficial Eros, but one that goes much deeper. One that defies time and distance. One that will strive with all it contains not to hurt another even at the risk of hurting self (which I am doing).
Life does go on and I do have friends, interests, and things to do. Yet he is always with me. He lingers in my heart, mind, spirit, and minds eye. No, I don't want him to go away. On the contrary. What I have here is something I am not familiar with. Something that defies me.
How does one stop that higher level of love in favor of and to save a friendship? I must respect and keep within the parameter set not of my own wishes.
This is the logic table I came up with:
1. Be true to yourself and in turn you will be false to no man. (Paraphrased from Hamlet)
2. To love hurts, but feels good and is therefore justified.
3. In order not to hurt someone, you damage yourself. Then again, a truth is not said.
4. If truth is said, someone gets hurt and thus you hurt by hurting them.
What to do? Can anyone offer a suggestion that does not cause damage to the relationship? ~ Maggie ~ September 13, 2007 @ 5:01 a.m. EST
No comments:
Post a Comment