The Fake Relationship...

The Fake Relationship~

In relationship status...the best fucked up chain ever...
by Arachne on Tuesday, August 9, 2011 at 11:59pm (This comes via my FB status which was later made into a published FB "note." Yes all my friends and family saw this, however, they KNOW me.)

(So that you guys know, this was planned to be a spoof. The conversation went as a smooth like dance even without prepared responses. Our nature did the work. However, we did cheat while in chat to punk it up more and to end it in tragedy. What came of this dialogue is raunchy comedy via friendship and cooperation. Thanks K!)

Arachne is now in a relationship with K.O.S.

A. wrote "awww Too cute So happy for you Arachne!!"

Arachne wrote “It is wonderfully cute. K. is such a young man. I am so surprised that his young hunky butt got together my my old ass. lol"

A. wrote "LMAO!! Age ain't nuttin but a number.. You lil cougar you!"

K. wrote "hahaha Well we had to sometime with how madly in love we are! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TOO BABE."

Arachne wrote “Oh baby I love you too! Our love will go on and on. We have our own Titanic music in the background and I will never let go!"

Arachne wrote "A., he is even younger than my daughter. I am forever lucky as I have a man that will actually outlive me."

Arachne wrote "Right honey?"

K. wrote "aww, You make me blush Arachne. lol You're far more beautiful then any young woman inside and out"

A. wrote "Outlive you!! hahahaha That's one way to look at it I guess "

Arachne wrote "That is the best way to look at it. *-)"

K. wrote "awwww 19 ain’t so young babe. I'll live fast and go with you."

Arachne wrote "19 is your prime hun."

K. wrote "hehe We know that first hand "

Arachne wrote "Yes we do. Our passion is boiling HOT!"

K. wrote "Magma hot babe!"

Arachne wrote "Grande Hot sugar bear!"

K. wrote "Oh what a lucky young man I am to have such a wonderful goddess!"

Arachne wrote "My love, I treasure that you are willing to die when I do! How romantic."

K. wrote "There’s no way I would rather go then in your arms with you."

Arachne wrote "Oh dear love...we will be knocking on heavens door together. We shall wear black at our wedding and white at our funeral.

K. wrote "Sounds wonderful to me babe. Here's to a happy life together and into the next."

Arachne wrote "I agree my WOLFman!"

K. wrote "Hugs and kisses to my wonderful witchy woman!"

Arachne wrote "Hugs to my snuggle muffin!"

Arachne wrote "HOWL!

K. wrote "awoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Arachne wrote "Woof and growl!"

K. wrote "grrrrrrrr "

Arachne wrote "Panting....

K. wrote "heh...heh..heh.."

Arachne wrote "*wink"

K. wrote "*kiss"

C. wrote "Dis is interesting... lmbo"

K. wrote "Glad you think so. ;D I feel so lucky and happy ?"

Arachne wrote "I am glad she thinks so too. I wonder how many people think so? We are so lucky and happy aren't we sweetie, sugar pie, lamb!"

K. wrote "I could never ask for better babe. You're all I want and need."

Missing something here...

K. wrote "Indeed we are my love and if you keep calling me that I'm really gonna blush. haha"

Arachne wrote "You never blush in the heat of the moment, so why blush here? Let it ALL hang out."

K. wrote "haha You got a point there my love. And as for hang, well we both know about that. hehe"

Arachne wrote "We both do know that you are HUNG like a horse"

K. wrote "Pfff like a horse? The horse is hung like ME "

C. wrote "Awww All this is going up in my fantasy data base to become reality in my head, heart & soul experience. ? ! Just sayin... lol"

C. wrote "Well, for me in my own way, not to interrupt or some' suches your'alls experience! "

Arachne wrote "Darling, you are so right. The horse is hung like YOU. How dare the horse copy your wonderful male member. Actually, he does not copy you fully for when we had our romp in the stable, the horse was crying when he saw what you had. I too cried in delight despite the poor horse's dismay. C., would you like a threesome with us? He and I are so willing and able. Aren't we honey?"

K. wrote "hehehe Indeed we are babe "

Arachne wrote "Coolio!"

K. wrote "Could I ask for a better lover? Never!"

Arachne wrote "Darling...I am feeling...well...I am feeling that I might not love you as much as I said I love you. I feel that I need to see other men who are hung like hamsters so that I may taste the variety of life. You are like Gomez Addams and surely will understand if we do fall apart and I go off and frolic with many many men. I may return to you older and wiser, but perhaps diseased. I know you will love me anyway. I will know later if this is what I choose to do. Yes..I will let you know as my whoredom is calling me pricking at my ears to sample a variety before I depart this earth.

K. wrote "Ah very well babe. Do as you feel you must do. If we do part I will be ever waiting."

Arachne wrote "This I know and that is why I tell you of my longing desire to sample the fruit of others. I had thought about being with 10 at a time...maybe 50 just to see what that is like. It is not like you wold have sloppy seconds or anything. I would use bleach and bathe my body clean for you. I still have time to decide. I wonder if I can do it in a plane? Or can I do it in a lane? I am getting hot for Dr. Suess."

K. wrote "Planes, lanes, why not trains? travel the world and sample the men like wine. All different ages and every one a different taste."

Arachne wrote “YES! That sounds ideal! Why didn't I think about that? You are so wonderful. Yes yes I may return to your arms after my adventure lest it kills me. However, you did promise to join me in death."

K. wrote "We will see each other again one way or another babe if you come back or die trying. And, if you come back, just think of how much more experience you will have! It will make for an interesting welcome home romp."

Arachne wrote “I may just die trying as I am a nympho. Would you mind if I brought some men home as cabana boys?"

K. wrote "Not at all so long as you bring a set of cabana girls for me too. Twins if you would be so kind. Start a collection along with all our various strapons and handcuffs. Oh and I can't forget the whips, oh joy oh joy."

Arachne wrote "What happens if I find a baby man? A man who likes wearing diapers? Oh to be a new mom again! Would you mind that? We could make him shit his diaper while we have him on the rack. If he shits his diaper, we can spank him. Do you mind if you cabana girls are scat girls?"

K. wrote "Not at all so long as I have nose plugs. I've been meaning to put that iron maiden in the basement to use for awhile now. I didn't know you had a rack! I wanna be on it, it sounds like so much fun. Stretch me like ya meeean it!"

Arachne wrote "Oh Gomez! I knew you would understand. Yes I will stretch you like pulled pork and Playdoh. I will even have images of comics all over your body! I had been keeping the rack a secret because I have been having my way with Uncle Fester. Nose plugs it is! You have an iron maiden? When did you get that? Why have you not done me in it? I am truly upset with you!"

K. wrote "For the same reason you kept the rack from me my love. I was keeping it as a surprise! I'll be sure to get you in it tonight I'll get a pair of nose plugs right away! I will need them soon! hmmmmmmm or balls of cotton, yes that would work too."

Arachne wrote "Cotton balls? Will we mate like rabbits and then will the wolf in you tear me apart? Actually, when I think of cotton balls, I think of Brando playing The Godfather. Oh to do you as Brando! Bring some butter and I will lube your corn for porn! Oh yes...needle nose pliers must be brought into the equation...what can be done with those and some weights! Yes bring fishing weights and line...a thick needle as well! We shall make DeSade look silly! Would you kill me for yourself? I read your diary in secret and know you to be a necrophiliac...to this, I sacrifice myself to you and then we shall part ways."

K. wrote "Nah this wolf mates for life so there will be no tearing unless it's by my giant member known to make horses cry. oho I shall have to dress up as Brando and do an impersonation it seems. Just no horse head in the bed. We must gather all this wonderful equipment! We shall make wonderful painful love and I'll accept your sacrifice when the time cums! I'll need a lot of formaldehyde though."

Arachne wrote "Wolves do mate for life. Supposing I am wolf are we then incestuous? *-) Yes that monstrous member of yours is the envy of nations and shall tear at me this night and the world's horses will cry out of jealousy! In our painful and wonderful last seduction, I bring you the twin cabana scat girls who I have also designated for sacrifice in our doom chamber. With them comes my harem of men and the man baby in diapers (his diaper is very very soiled - I whipped him silly, but I didn't change him.). My diseased self who drips with the ejaculations of 10,000 men will be OPEN to disposal. What will you do to CUM with me into the afterlife after you have CUM with me when I am pickled? I want to know the measure of your demise? Will it be painful? *wringing hands in delight" I also have a copy of Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham!"

K. wrote "oho If we are incestuous then why does something so wrong feel so right? hmmm Brings a whole new meaning to loving family. muahahahaha My monstrous trouser python is just one long, hard, massive muscle. I know just where to put those cabana girls. I have a nice meat locker were they will be preserved in ice forever with us. I will cum with you into the afterlife in the most painful way imaginable: death by Justin Beiber CD torture. I'll strap myself to a chair and blast it in the sound system as loud as it can go until I die in extreme pain...until my head explodes into the pure torture and horror of it and I explode inside you one last time. Oh what a glorious and horrid way to go. Good that you got something for us to read when we reach the other side. We must have literature with us."

Arachne wrote "Everything was fine until you mentioned JB! My love for you has died. You killed it with the mere mention of his name. I guess I will have to move along now. HOW COULD YOU!!! That kind of torture is...is...is...prohibited by all us righteous sick fucks! Don't you know that? What caused you to become so dysfunctional? Did you eat something that disagreed with you? Woe is me and my eternity...I shall have to end my relationship with you and find another who will love me, do for me, accept my whoring and my harem, my man baby, my love of Dr. Suess and the arousal he causes with his words, and die with me as you would have. So this night I give up all that I had with you including your massive meat and move on to men of lesser means. Oh this too too cruel world! Our love ends so tragically! Yes our literature will live on, but I cannot be with someone who mentions the name of JB. Hey, do you mind if we just remain friends?"

K. wrote "I don't mined at all *shakes your hand*"

Arachne wrote "Friends we are...*shakes your hand and gives a high five for a job well done!*"  ~ Arachne ~ Oct. 13, 2011 @ 1:38 pm