The Ideal Man...

"If I were to speak your kind of language, I would say that man's only moral commandment is: Thou shalt think. But a 'moral commandment' is a contradiction in terms. The moral is the chosen, not the forced; the understood, not the obeyed. The moral is the rational, and reason accepts no commandments." ~ Ayn Rand

It was love at first sight. She eyed him in the trolley and noted that he was getting off at the same stop as she. Being an extra on the set, she made sure that she got in his way so that he stepped on her foot and noticed her. She was noticed, but it wasn’t until she met him again at the library that they became an item. She was his IDEAL man long before she met him, therefore, once her sights were on him, she made it her business to get him. Her mind conjured images of what the ideal man looked like long before she met Frank. Perhaps that he why his portrait was used as the image of John Galt. There was attraction between Ayn and Frank O’Conner and that may be why she married him and loved him until the day that he died. It is my belief, based on viewed interviews, that when he died, he took a part of her as he was part of her and her selfishness. Maybe she did not see the altruistic side of her selfishness in regard to him. Maybe she left that out of her philosophy and maybe she didn’t.

Unfortunately for Frank, however, he was not on her level mentally. Therefore, when she had an affair with a young psychologist (Nathaniel Branden), she had it with his knowledge and his understanding. Did she love the man who offered her mental and sexual stimulation? She did not love him as she loved her husband. Her husband was first and foremost. She even had her “lover” come and hang out with her and her husband. In a small way, she reminds me of Emma Goldman in relation to having an affair with both Sasha (Alexander Berkman) and Fedya (Modest Stein) while living with both of them at the same time. The men were almost polar opposites. Tis an odd thing.

Anyway, I am no Ayn Rand nor Emma Goldman, but I can understand where these women were coming from in their love life. I can’t say that I think with my pussy nor do I think that those women did either. Mary Shelley created Frankenstein didn’t she? Could it be that her dreams were filled with the making of an ideal man while knowing full well that one should be careful of what one wishes for (the monster)?

What I would like to know is why can’t one have their cake and eat it too? Why can’t that deep passionate love I feel for someone who is a love at first sight (like Rand) also have the captivating mentality I so desire? I WANT to have my cake and eat it too! I don’t want to have to have two people to satisfy one me. Yup. That is the way it is. ~ January 16, 2012 @ 8:46 p.m. EST

Post Script:  As Nathaniel was married at the time of the affair, he had the permission of his wife, Barbara, to do so.  Barbara also was hanging out at the Rand/O'Conner household during that time.