Steady Now With Holes...

This post will be removed in three days time.

Days back...a finding.  What I had thought to be was not.  The paper before me showed me.  Words spoken this day provided more holes.  Nothing but holes!  Fragments...fragmented.  The puzzle is puzzling.  Who am I?  I am me.  When did I become?  I don’t know.  The idea that so many holes exist have me ponder and wonder.  Small dots dot the scene of my reality.  The Vaseline smear on the lens that I lookED through NOW ponder WHEN?  WHO?  Thoughts...

I hum to the idea that so much had slipped.  Does it bother me that I have come to view holes?    Not really even though it makes my history different.  In what clarity do I see things now?  Did I truly wake when I thought?  Perhaps I did not wake until the number as there is steady recollection from that point in detailed form.  It rather reminds me of the 70's, 80's, and 90's when strength and smarts were utilized at the greatest level, yet the sneak of the weak was sometimes holding frayed remnants. 

To me, whomever I may be at this/in this space/time continuum, you are okay kiddo as you can rationalize and explore what is missing.  You can see “now-self” doing that, but you can’t remember the holes.  Admission to ability equates to stability.  True form.     

This person that I feel in the now is the combo of two out of three.  One dead and buried.  Gone.  Never forgotten.  Never remembered.  Holes.

The sketch goes back to the starting point of the pencil...virtual.  When asked if present observations in objective and subjective form note differences, the answer was no.  I am steady.  Steady now with holes.  Happy am I.  ~ Maggie ~ Monday January 18, 2009 @ 12:45 a.m. EST