I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.
_______________________________
Dear Mr. Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6 You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management ~ Arachne ~ 5/27/07 @ 2:30 PM EST
NOTE: I did not write this.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Can Anyone Relate to This?
Can Anyone Relate to This?
Remember I told you that the body is electrically charged and I questioned death? It seems odd that an electrical energy would just cease. Specifically our electrical energy when our organic matter ceases to exist.
I don't think that my hypothesis is nuts.
Thinking about something does not make it so, but making it so comes from thinking about something. ~ Maggie
NOTE: brain wave
NOUN: A rhythmic fluctuation of electric potential between parts of the brain, as seen on an electroencephalogram.
Check this out:
Quantum Theory:
For nearly one hundred years the idea that light is a wave went essentially unchallenged. This changed in 1900 with Max Planck's studies of the absorption of light by black bodies, that is, objects that do not reflect back any frequency of light. As Planck ran his experiments, he observed that the temperature of a back body is raised and lowered, it emits radiation at various frequencies. He expected the radiation to flow continuously, as one would expect from a wave, but it did not. Instead, it came in discrete batches that behaved like particles. He called these batches "quanta." Einstein, a contemporary of Planck, was intrigued by his discovery, and went on to show mathematically that light is absorbed, as well as radiated, in batches of quanta. Thus, "quantum theory" was born.
Due to Young's earlier experiments, most physicists of Planck's day thought of light as wave. Thinking of light as a particle was more difficult. Although many scientists were uncomfortable with the idea that light could be both a particle and a wave, the idea struck and eventually light "particles" came to be called "photons." If light can act as a particle, would something we expect to act like a particle act like a wave?
Particles:
In Newton's time, the smallest bits of matter know were atoms. Since then, scientists have discovered that atoms are composed of even smaller bits, such as the electron, proton, and neutron. These subatomic bits have classically been viewed as particles, similar to marbles or billiard balls. If we were to substitute electrons for light in Young's experiment, what would happen? If electrons really are particles, the overlapping areas of the third screen will be more heavily hit. When the two-slit experiment was conducted using electrons, however, the electrons created the same sort of interference pattern of light. This remained true even when the electrons were fired one at a time so that they could not interact with each other. Scientists were so confounded by this development that they decided the single electron must be breaking in two, going through both slits at once, and then interfering with itself. To decide this question, a measuring device was put at each slit. As the electrons were fired one at a time, they went through only one slit or the other, just as we would expect form particles. So what happened? The interference pattern on the third screen then ceased to exist! The electrons stopped acting like waves altogether when they were measured. Scientists were left with the conclusion that when we look directly at an electron, it acts like a particle, but when we don't, it acts like a wave.
This paradox was summarized by the scientist Niels Bohr in 1927 in what became known as the "Copenhagen interpretation," now accepted by a majority of physicists around the world. Bohr stated that at the quantum level a particle has no properties unless it is being observed and measured. Particles of matter exist only as potentialities that become fixed, or develop into particles, when they come into contact with a measuring device. The scientist Werner Heisenberg postulated that beneath physical reality is a deeper level filled with what he calls "potentia." At this level, matter does not exist, but only has tendencies to exist, and all possible events–even contradictory ones – reside together in potential. The act of measurement causes one of the potential states to come into being.
Wave Function:
In the early 1900's, a scientist named Louis de Broglie went beyond the issue of the characteristics of light and proposed that all matter has a wave-like characteristic. These wavelike properties can be described as a wave field or wave function. The wave function is not something you can see, nor does it exist in three dimensional space, but its effects can be observed. Every particle of matter has its own wave function, which can be visualized as a "smear," or a representation of all the paths it may take. The scientist Richard Feynman theorized that the potential particle takes all possible paths as its wave moves from point A to point B, so that when the wave reaches point B, it contains information from every path it could have taken to get there. When the particle is observed, however, its wave function collapses and only one path becomes actualized.
Why does one probability get chosen for the particle rather than another? Who or what makes these choices, and at what level are these choices made? Many of the scientists who study the nature of reality theorize that levels of reality exist underneath or parallel to this one and are where these choices are made. If such levels exist, how are they connected, and how is information passed between them?
Bell's Theorem and Non-locality:
In 1964, the scientist John Steward Bell proposed in what is known as Bell's theorem that after two particles meet, they continue to influence each other. The influence is not caused by nuclear forces, gravity, or electromagnetism, but exists because each particle leave a part of itself with the other, thus allowing them to communicate instantaneously. What do they leave? Not a piece of matter, but a piece of information. Particles are less like balls of stuff and more like information packets. Instantaneous communication is theoretically not possible in a universe limited by the speed of light, so Bell proposed that his connection between particles occurs outside of the space-time. His theory was later proven by laboratory experiment, and instantaneous communication between particles, also called "non-locality," became a provable fact.
Already we have moved quite a distance from Newton. Instead of an empty three-dimensional spaced filled with billiard-ball-like pieces of matter, quantum physics portrays a universe that acts as a seamless whole, where each part communicates instantaneously with every other part, and is filled with waves of information that arise from levels outside of space-time. In a Newtonian world, the whole is the sum of the parts. In a quantum world, the whole oversees, and perhaps even creates, the parts. ~ May 25, 2007 @ 5:00 p.m.
This was my original post:
Impassioned
If you want to view me as nuts, be my guest!
Behind any good artist, poet, philosopher, inventor, musician, scientist, or visionary is passion. It is a fuel by which the imagination captures the surroundings and makes something of it. Perhaps the imagination tries to make sense or nonsense of that which not understood or is understood too well.
Drive (from fuel) can come in many forms. It can come from simple things such as looking at the clouds and seeing faces or diagrams and questioning it. Everything has a purpose and in an inquisitive mind maybe answers can be found amongst the various other questions that spring forth.
Being a visual person, imagine if you will an actual tree, family tree, or database linkage system. You start with one as the initial focal point. Example: YOU. What will happen next is you have two that you stem from and they have two and so on and so on and so on. Exploration is the same thing. You start with one factor and if the passion drives you, you will explore in detail that which you want to know. Example: Life.
When doing this, explore Newton's theory of relativity, use laws of economics, and Socratic method. You will discover that everything is intertwined and related and that everything needs contrast. You will find that even with an answer, there is a question or an opposite and that all things are possible. Note that your time is 100 percent and that if you focus in any specific area (tunnel vision), your other areas will suffer. Thus, in order to maintain balance, scatter your thoughts about. See how patterns form from things that may not seem obvious.
Creation Alpha Omega Alpha (zeros, circles, and eights):
It begins with a thought and is brought about by a process. Who is to say that we are not our own gods? We are like the earth and our components are approximately the same. Our matter is organic, but we are charged electrically. When one experiences heart stoppage, the use of shock brings us back to life. (Explore Mary Shelley and Frankenstein.) Brain waves are now used to determine death rather than heart stoppage. The brain is also electrically charged and uses neurotransmitters to make the body function. Example: Autonomic and Somatic functions. If one were to die, reflexes that would normally occur via a somatic function can be had via electric current to create animation of the human body. If one could jar an electric current where would it go upon release? I ask this question as I question death. Could it be said that our CURRENT leaves this plain for another? ~ Maggie ~ May 23, 2007 @ 1:07 p.m.
Remember I told you that the body is electrically charged and I questioned death? It seems odd that an electrical energy would just cease. Specifically our electrical energy when our organic matter ceases to exist.
I don't think that my hypothesis is nuts.
Thinking about something does not make it so, but making it so comes from thinking about something. ~ Maggie
NOTE: brain wave
NOUN: A rhythmic fluctuation of electric potential between parts of the brain, as seen on an electroencephalogram.
Check this out:
Quantum Theory:
For nearly one hundred years the idea that light is a wave went essentially unchallenged. This changed in 1900 with Max Planck's studies of the absorption of light by black bodies, that is, objects that do not reflect back any frequency of light. As Planck ran his experiments, he observed that the temperature of a back body is raised and lowered, it emits radiation at various frequencies. He expected the radiation to flow continuously, as one would expect from a wave, but it did not. Instead, it came in discrete batches that behaved like particles. He called these batches "quanta." Einstein, a contemporary of Planck, was intrigued by his discovery, and went on to show mathematically that light is absorbed, as well as radiated, in batches of quanta. Thus, "quantum theory" was born.
Due to Young's earlier experiments, most physicists of Planck's day thought of light as wave. Thinking of light as a particle was more difficult. Although many scientists were uncomfortable with the idea that light could be both a particle and a wave, the idea struck and eventually light "particles" came to be called "photons." If light can act as a particle, would something we expect to act like a particle act like a wave?
Particles:
In Newton's time, the smallest bits of matter know were atoms. Since then, scientists have discovered that atoms are composed of even smaller bits, such as the electron, proton, and neutron. These subatomic bits have classically been viewed as particles, similar to marbles or billiard balls. If we were to substitute electrons for light in Young's experiment, what would happen? If electrons really are particles, the overlapping areas of the third screen will be more heavily hit. When the two-slit experiment was conducted using electrons, however, the electrons created the same sort of interference pattern of light. This remained true even when the electrons were fired one at a time so that they could not interact with each other. Scientists were so confounded by this development that they decided the single electron must be breaking in two, going through both slits at once, and then interfering with itself. To decide this question, a measuring device was put at each slit. As the electrons were fired one at a time, they went through only one slit or the other, just as we would expect form particles. So what happened? The interference pattern on the third screen then ceased to exist! The electrons stopped acting like waves altogether when they were measured. Scientists were left with the conclusion that when we look directly at an electron, it acts like a particle, but when we don't, it acts like a wave.
This paradox was summarized by the scientist Niels Bohr in 1927 in what became known as the "Copenhagen interpretation," now accepted by a majority of physicists around the world. Bohr stated that at the quantum level a particle has no properties unless it is being observed and measured. Particles of matter exist only as potentialities that become fixed, or develop into particles, when they come into contact with a measuring device. The scientist Werner Heisenberg postulated that beneath physical reality is a deeper level filled with what he calls "potentia." At this level, matter does not exist, but only has tendencies to exist, and all possible events–even contradictory ones – reside together in potential. The act of measurement causes one of the potential states to come into being.
Wave Function:
In the early 1900's, a scientist named Louis de Broglie went beyond the issue of the characteristics of light and proposed that all matter has a wave-like characteristic. These wavelike properties can be described as a wave field or wave function. The wave function is not something you can see, nor does it exist in three dimensional space, but its effects can be observed. Every particle of matter has its own wave function, which can be visualized as a "smear," or a representation of all the paths it may take. The scientist Richard Feynman theorized that the potential particle takes all possible paths as its wave moves from point A to point B, so that when the wave reaches point B, it contains information from every path it could have taken to get there. When the particle is observed, however, its wave function collapses and only one path becomes actualized.
Why does one probability get chosen for the particle rather than another? Who or what makes these choices, and at what level are these choices made? Many of the scientists who study the nature of reality theorize that levels of reality exist underneath or parallel to this one and are where these choices are made. If such levels exist, how are they connected, and how is information passed between them?
Bell's Theorem and Non-locality:
In 1964, the scientist John Steward Bell proposed in what is known as Bell's theorem that after two particles meet, they continue to influence each other. The influence is not caused by nuclear forces, gravity, or electromagnetism, but exists because each particle leave a part of itself with the other, thus allowing them to communicate instantaneously. What do they leave? Not a piece of matter, but a piece of information. Particles are less like balls of stuff and more like information packets. Instantaneous communication is theoretically not possible in a universe limited by the speed of light, so Bell proposed that his connection between particles occurs outside of the space-time. His theory was later proven by laboratory experiment, and instantaneous communication between particles, also called "non-locality," became a provable fact.
Already we have moved quite a distance from Newton. Instead of an empty three-dimensional spaced filled with billiard-ball-like pieces of matter, quantum physics portrays a universe that acts as a seamless whole, where each part communicates instantaneously with every other part, and is filled with waves of information that arise from levels outside of space-time. In a Newtonian world, the whole is the sum of the parts. In a quantum world, the whole oversees, and perhaps even creates, the parts. ~ May 25, 2007 @ 5:00 p.m.
This was my original post:
Impassioned
If you want to view me as nuts, be my guest!
Behind any good artist, poet, philosopher, inventor, musician, scientist, or visionary is passion. It is a fuel by which the imagination captures the surroundings and makes something of it. Perhaps the imagination tries to make sense or nonsense of that which not understood or is understood too well.
Drive (from fuel) can come in many forms. It can come from simple things such as looking at the clouds and seeing faces or diagrams and questioning it. Everything has a purpose and in an inquisitive mind maybe answers can be found amongst the various other questions that spring forth.
Being a visual person, imagine if you will an actual tree, family tree, or database linkage system. You start with one as the initial focal point. Example: YOU. What will happen next is you have two that you stem from and they have two and so on and so on and so on. Exploration is the same thing. You start with one factor and if the passion drives you, you will explore in detail that which you want to know. Example: Life.
When doing this, explore Newton's theory of relativity, use laws of economics, and Socratic method. You will discover that everything is intertwined and related and that everything needs contrast. You will find that even with an answer, there is a question or an opposite and that all things are possible. Note that your time is 100 percent and that if you focus in any specific area (tunnel vision), your other areas will suffer. Thus, in order to maintain balance, scatter your thoughts about. See how patterns form from things that may not seem obvious.
Creation Alpha Omega Alpha (zeros, circles, and eights):
It begins with a thought and is brought about by a process. Who is to say that we are not our own gods? We are like the earth and our components are approximately the same. Our matter is organic, but we are charged electrically. When one experiences heart stoppage, the use of shock brings us back to life. (Explore Mary Shelley and Frankenstein.) Brain waves are now used to determine death rather than heart stoppage. The brain is also electrically charged and uses neurotransmitters to make the body function. Example: Autonomic and Somatic functions. If one were to die, reflexes that would normally occur via a somatic function can be had via electric current to create animation of the human body. If one could jar an electric current where would it go upon release? I ask this question as I question death. Could it be said that our CURRENT leaves this plain for another? ~ Maggie ~ May 23, 2007 @ 1:07 p.m.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Is science in fact magick?
Fact or fiction?
Myth or legend?
Science or occult?
Some discoveries were thought of by madmen! Some where just plain old heretics.
Yesterday's fiction or dreams are today's reality.
What inventions, gizmos, gadgets or stories go through your mind that you have not seen developed into reality yet?
What can you engineer?
Where shall we go from here?
How about backwards?
The ancients have taken some of their secrets with them and unfortunately our wonderful new technology cannot replicate their works. How did they do it? Where questions lie, so too do answers. Explore!
A little note: Today's warfare is based on ancient tactics and ancient weapons. The ancients did possess hand grenades and an equivalent of napalm. Do you think Kevlar is new? You better check it out. What about pyramids and alchemy? Leonardo saw the flying machine long before Orville and Wilbur. Shelley saw electricity bring man to life and she wrote a story about it. Dig a little and get dirty. Aw come on...you can do it. As I said before, if you can think it, you can do it. LOL ~ Maggie ~ May 2, 2007 @ 5:17 p.m.
Listening to Wendy O. and the Plasmatics ~ Prisoners of the Damned
Myth or legend?
Science or occult?
Some discoveries were thought of by madmen! Some where just plain old heretics.
Yesterday's fiction or dreams are today's reality.
What inventions, gizmos, gadgets or stories go through your mind that you have not seen developed into reality yet?
What can you engineer?
Where shall we go from here?
How about backwards?
The ancients have taken some of their secrets with them and unfortunately our wonderful new technology cannot replicate their works. How did they do it? Where questions lie, so too do answers. Explore!
A little note: Today's warfare is based on ancient tactics and ancient weapons. The ancients did possess hand grenades and an equivalent of napalm. Do you think Kevlar is new? You better check it out. What about pyramids and alchemy? Leonardo saw the flying machine long before Orville and Wilbur. Shelley saw electricity bring man to life and she wrote a story about it. Dig a little and get dirty. Aw come on...you can do it. As I said before, if you can think it, you can do it. LOL ~ Maggie ~ May 2, 2007 @ 5:17 p.m.
Listening to Wendy O. and the Plasmatics ~ Prisoners of the Damned
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Feelings of Love
Memory serves as a reminder of how close a person can be even though they are so far. The brain captures much more than film and each replay is more beautiful than the last. Every facial and body gesture, every touch, every sharing and giving moment are warmly kept and bring smiles when least expected. The great part of memory is that it is always turned on and even in moments where the mind is occupied by other things because visions manage to come forth in the mind's eye. Miles can separate two bodies, but hearts and minds can bring them together.
After spending almost two days crying, I realize that there is reason to smile. Time played a trick on me and made me forget the flip side of love and that flip side is hurt. The hurt is not one of a broken heart or ill feelings: it is a good hurt of missing and longing. Therefore it is a driving force. A force that will hopefully reunite us. It warms my heart that he is out there and thinking of me as well.
My Prince climbs the highest mountains and walks the longest trails. He captures wild things and is gentle with them and returns them to their natural habitat. His touch is gentle yet strong. His kisses are passionate and sweet and his body is warm and loving. His eyes sparkle like magick stones and his hands are large and cover mine. When placed on my hips, I feel like he has all of me.
The greatest part of my Prince is that he is ALL THAT! He is not a pretender and is more REAL than anyone that I have ever met. The childlike qualities that I thought he had were surpassed in reality and he was able to capture my child as well. We played well together and without any friction. There was a humorous thing about pizza and because of my lack of cooperation, I missed out on his favorite pizza in Vancouver. From now on he has my total cooperation as he has not steered me wrong. Even grass juice was good! Yup, it tasted like fresh cut lawn. Without him, I would not have done much of what he had me experience. He gave me bigger balls than I already had. So what that I fell on my face and ass while I was with him. There can be joy in black and blue.
Adventure and exploration = experiencing, learning, loving, laughing, sharing, caring, smiling and crying. Yeah, I am owned.
I feel his bite on my neck and the sensations that it brings. The slight touch on the small of my back that winds me up. The gentle touch or nibble on my ear.
There are so many things that I can say about my Prince, however, words alone can never truly express everything I feel, think, and know about him.
Today brings doofy smiles and tears. The smiles are brought about from thinking about him and the tears are brought about from wanting him. Okay, so I am a wha wha baby. Am I a Barbie or Pink because I am romantic at heart? Hell NO! As mushy as I can be, I can also be a hard ass. However, I would never be a hard ass with him. He did see my hard ass side with others and he laughed. I did not need the disguise of makeup or done up hair. My nails are now tattered and my body is black and blue from my boyish adventures in pants, boots, and a hat sporting the drowned rat look and yet I felt beautiful.
I guess it is who you are with that can make you feel great about being alive. He made me feel alive and aware. He educated me in beauty of the natural kind...his kind and he is kind. I don't know if a fairer Prince can exist. It is highly doubted that anyone can even stand in his shadow.
Another great thing is that he let me be me yet encouraged me to overcome my fears. He did not treat me like a Barbie at all as he left me to strive for myself which was beneficial to me as he gave me strength. Nope, I was not babied and that was sooooo cool! That is equality! Shit man, he is the best.
Sure I would feel bad if he never wanted to see me again, but I would have to look at all the great things we experienced and shared and say it was beautiful and unforgettable nonetheless. There are no regrets as I am glowing!
Comfort is leaving the bathroom door open. Comfort is telling how something feels in detail. Comfort is sharing a mirror, cig, or some food. Comfort is falling asleep in someone's arms and waking the same way. Comfort is falling on your face and ass and not being embarrassed. Comfort is knowing we can be ourselves without criticism or argument. Comfort is acceptance.
Love is smiling and crying. Love is daydreams of beautiful things that money can't buy. Love is time spent by two. Love is holding hands in the rain. Love is touching his face and studying it. Love is Nathan my darling Prince.
I can't stop thinking about him and I am glad that I absorbed him. It seems that I am lost in my own thoughts. My mind spins backwards to him.
A man/boy and a woman/girl ~ A romance in the garden of Eden and the most beautiful falls. Our place is in the forest with the pixies, fairies, elves, dwarves, gnomes, wood sprites, and other magickal creatures.
Faith in someone is hard to come across and yet I trust him with my life. As his eyes closed behind the wheel, I did not panic or get angry. Regardless of the surroundings that could have led us to the grave, I had faith in him. As his copilot, I talked to him and helped to keep him alert, but I never feared that we would crash. Even if we had crashed and a marker of two crosses were put up for us (there were many death site markers along the way), I think that we would have died happy.
Touching his head felt like the softest velvet and I kept petting him. I studied his features with all my might so that in his absence, he would still be seen as three dimensional. Sure I have pictures of him, however, they are only two dimensional. I need to be able to see him and feel him even while we are apart and I have done a good job at drinking him up.
Creamy white delicious and soft as the finest silk is the tone of his skin. His features are like carved alabaster: beautifully formed and perfect. His eyes are most beautiful and reflect the sky. His chest is chiseled and manly, yet his actions are wonderfully boyish. The little tom girl in me loves him to death, but he needs to teach me balance so that I too may walk on fallen trees that lie across the stream in the forest. His balance is so amazing.
Can this all be a dream? If it is, I don't want to wake up. My head and heart are elevated to a higher stratosphere of beauty and appreciation. I slumber while awake in pillows of fantasy that are puffed high in the clouds upon a mountain top. I can kiss the sky, but I prefer to kiss him.
If I am mad as a hatter, then let me be and let my insanity reign supreme.
Oh glorious man god of supreme proportions
Grant me audience
This poor lowly servant girl
That I may look upon you and glorify you
You who walks on water
You who fears not
You who instills courage where there was fear
I pay homage to your graciousness
Thank you for kissing my tears
Delusional? No. Obsessed? No. Conscious and conscientious? Yes. I acknowledge all that I feel and it is like a high wire balancing act. The pain of separation and the joy of memory and/or reunion. I can't say that I would want to feel any other way.
A thought ignites sightings of wonderment
Childish and childlike aspirations bring lightness of heart
And rounds of flying as high as a kite
Only a small gust of wind is needed to take flight
The wings of an eagle are mighty
Yet so too are the wings of imagination
Extended and flexible
Each memory is like a feather
Bind the feathers and wings create flight
Zipping and soaring high above the tallest trees
Extraordinary and delectable are the trappings ~ Arachne ~ Penned prior to 3:00 p.m. on May 1, 2007
After spending almost two days crying, I realize that there is reason to smile. Time played a trick on me and made me forget the flip side of love and that flip side is hurt. The hurt is not one of a broken heart or ill feelings: it is a good hurt of missing and longing. Therefore it is a driving force. A force that will hopefully reunite us. It warms my heart that he is out there and thinking of me as well.
My Prince climbs the highest mountains and walks the longest trails. He captures wild things and is gentle with them and returns them to their natural habitat. His touch is gentle yet strong. His kisses are passionate and sweet and his body is warm and loving. His eyes sparkle like magick stones and his hands are large and cover mine. When placed on my hips, I feel like he has all of me.
The greatest part of my Prince is that he is ALL THAT! He is not a pretender and is more REAL than anyone that I have ever met. The childlike qualities that I thought he had were surpassed in reality and he was able to capture my child as well. We played well together and without any friction. There was a humorous thing about pizza and because of my lack of cooperation, I missed out on his favorite pizza in Vancouver. From now on he has my total cooperation as he has not steered me wrong. Even grass juice was good! Yup, it tasted like fresh cut lawn. Without him, I would not have done much of what he had me experience. He gave me bigger balls than I already had. So what that I fell on my face and ass while I was with him. There can be joy in black and blue.
Adventure and exploration = experiencing, learning, loving, laughing, sharing, caring, smiling and crying. Yeah, I am owned.
I feel his bite on my neck and the sensations that it brings. The slight touch on the small of my back that winds me up. The gentle touch or nibble on my ear.
There are so many things that I can say about my Prince, however, words alone can never truly express everything I feel, think, and know about him.
Today brings doofy smiles and tears. The smiles are brought about from thinking about him and the tears are brought about from wanting him. Okay, so I am a wha wha baby. Am I a Barbie or Pink because I am romantic at heart? Hell NO! As mushy as I can be, I can also be a hard ass. However, I would never be a hard ass with him. He did see my hard ass side with others and he laughed. I did not need the disguise of makeup or done up hair. My nails are now tattered and my body is black and blue from my boyish adventures in pants, boots, and a hat sporting the drowned rat look and yet I felt beautiful.
I guess it is who you are with that can make you feel great about being alive. He made me feel alive and aware. He educated me in beauty of the natural kind...his kind and he is kind. I don't know if a fairer Prince can exist. It is highly doubted that anyone can even stand in his shadow.
Another great thing is that he let me be me yet encouraged me to overcome my fears. He did not treat me like a Barbie at all as he left me to strive for myself which was beneficial to me as he gave me strength. Nope, I was not babied and that was sooooo cool! That is equality! Shit man, he is the best.
Sure I would feel bad if he never wanted to see me again, but I would have to look at all the great things we experienced and shared and say it was beautiful and unforgettable nonetheless. There are no regrets as I am glowing!
Comfort is leaving the bathroom door open. Comfort is telling how something feels in detail. Comfort is sharing a mirror, cig, or some food. Comfort is falling asleep in someone's arms and waking the same way. Comfort is falling on your face and ass and not being embarrassed. Comfort is knowing we can be ourselves without criticism or argument. Comfort is acceptance.
Love is smiling and crying. Love is daydreams of beautiful things that money can't buy. Love is time spent by two. Love is holding hands in the rain. Love is touching his face and studying it. Love is Nathan my darling Prince.
I can't stop thinking about him and I am glad that I absorbed him. It seems that I am lost in my own thoughts. My mind spins backwards to him.
A man/boy and a woman/girl ~ A romance in the garden of Eden and the most beautiful falls. Our place is in the forest with the pixies, fairies, elves, dwarves, gnomes, wood sprites, and other magickal creatures.
Faith in someone is hard to come across and yet I trust him with my life. As his eyes closed behind the wheel, I did not panic or get angry. Regardless of the surroundings that could have led us to the grave, I had faith in him. As his copilot, I talked to him and helped to keep him alert, but I never feared that we would crash. Even if we had crashed and a marker of two crosses were put up for us (there were many death site markers along the way), I think that we would have died happy.
Touching his head felt like the softest velvet and I kept petting him. I studied his features with all my might so that in his absence, he would still be seen as three dimensional. Sure I have pictures of him, however, they are only two dimensional. I need to be able to see him and feel him even while we are apart and I have done a good job at drinking him up.
Creamy white delicious and soft as the finest silk is the tone of his skin. His features are like carved alabaster: beautifully formed and perfect. His eyes are most beautiful and reflect the sky. His chest is chiseled and manly, yet his actions are wonderfully boyish. The little tom girl in me loves him to death, but he needs to teach me balance so that I too may walk on fallen trees that lie across the stream in the forest. His balance is so amazing.
Can this all be a dream? If it is, I don't want to wake up. My head and heart are elevated to a higher stratosphere of beauty and appreciation. I slumber while awake in pillows of fantasy that are puffed high in the clouds upon a mountain top. I can kiss the sky, but I prefer to kiss him.
If I am mad as a hatter, then let me be and let my insanity reign supreme.
Oh glorious man god of supreme proportions
Grant me audience
This poor lowly servant girl
That I may look upon you and glorify you
You who walks on water
You who fears not
You who instills courage where there was fear
I pay homage to your graciousness
Thank you for kissing my tears
Delusional? No. Obsessed? No. Conscious and conscientious? Yes. I acknowledge all that I feel and it is like a high wire balancing act. The pain of separation and the joy of memory and/or reunion. I can't say that I would want to feel any other way.
A thought ignites sightings of wonderment
Childish and childlike aspirations bring lightness of heart
And rounds of flying as high as a kite
Only a small gust of wind is needed to take flight
The wings of an eagle are mighty
Yet so too are the wings of imagination
Extended and flexible
Each memory is like a feather
Bind the feathers and wings create flight
Zipping and soaring high above the tallest trees
Extraordinary and delectable are the trappings ~ Arachne ~ Penned prior to 3:00 p.m. on May 1, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
IN TUNE:
You can tell when you are in tune with someone when your e-mail is zooming to their e-mailbox as their e-mail is zooming through cyberspace and your e-mailbox. This is called being in sync. Now let's take this a bit further...imagine this if you will...the beginning subject matter is the same ex: 911. So you have two people thinking about each other at the very same moment and thinking about a similar subject. Let's go even further. Not only were we in sync, but the e-mail to me from him dealt with synchronicity. Thinking of a person at the same time they are thinking of you and then receiving something that deals with synchronicity and 9/11 makes me wonder if in fact telepathy is possible between two of like minds.
BTW, one e-mail went through at 9:11 p.m. and one was returned 7:11 p.m (two hour time difference). As numbers were discussed it was wondered why 911, an emergency number and known even to children would also never be forgotten as the DATE 9/11: the day the WTC fell. As 7/11 is a convenience store, I would probably want a chimmichanga (sp?) As 411 is information, I want it before I require 911 emergency assistance.
Going to bed now... April 12, 2007 11:47
Note: As I typed my date in, I made a slip up to note April 21, 2007 @ 11:47 p.m. I wonder if that will be the exact time we meet on that date. The plane does arrive at 11:32 p.m. Sync?
BTW, one e-mail went through at 9:11 p.m. and one was returned 7:11 p.m (two hour time difference). As numbers were discussed it was wondered why 911, an emergency number and known even to children would also never be forgotten as the DATE 9/11: the day the WTC fell. As 7/11 is a convenience store, I would probably want a chimmichanga (sp?) As 411 is information, I want it before I require 911 emergency assistance.
Going to bed now... April 12, 2007 11:47
Note: As I typed my date in, I made a slip up to note April 21, 2007 @ 11:47 p.m. I wonder if that will be the exact time we meet on that date. The plane does arrive at 11:32 p.m. Sync?
Friday, April 20, 2007
Pissed:
If a person is consistent in not keeping their word, the law of averages/probability will indicate that the same pattern will reoccur. This is happening now. After two screaming matches on the phone (me doing all the screaming as he was pissing me the fuck off) and me telling him "you don’t even have a foundation or leg to stand on so you best get your ass in gear if you even expect the title friend or at minimal associate." I don’t want a lame ass bitch man who verges on friendship hoping for more when his word is worth shit. Frankly, I don’t give a fuck nor a rat’s ass either way.
To even have the audacity to say I was needy? WTF? My direct quoted answer to that was:
Arachne says (8:51 PM):
I don't need you or any cock sucker. You know?
Arachne says (8:52 PM):
w/e
Arachne says (8:53 PM):
Clean your ears and when you have enough REASON in your head, talk to me then. Otherwise, bug off.
Arachne says (8:59 PM):
I would have to love you first. I don't even trust you as far as I could throw you. With not too much effort, I could throw your ass pretty damn far.
Arachne says (9:01 PM):
Well, you best get yourself a lap dog.
Arachne says (9:01 PM):
In addition, I don't NEED squat. I hope that is quite clear.
His responses were left out so not to embarrass him.
- Maggie ~ Nov. 20, 2007 @ 10:36 p.m. EST.
P.S.: His ass shouldn't be worrying about which male friends I hang with. If he is not man enough to hang out as a human being, then I don't know.
ADDENDUM: Some guys DESERVE the title of DICK!
To even have the audacity to say I was needy? WTF? My direct quoted answer to that was:
Arachne says (8:51 PM):
I don't need you or any cock sucker. You know?
Arachne says (8:52 PM):
w/e
Arachne says (8:53 PM):
Clean your ears and when you have enough REASON in your head, talk to me then. Otherwise, bug off.
Arachne says (8:59 PM):
I would have to love you first. I don't even trust you as far as I could throw you. With not too much effort, I could throw your ass pretty damn far.
Arachne says (9:01 PM):
Well, you best get yourself a lap dog.
Arachne says (9:01 PM):
In addition, I don't NEED squat. I hope that is quite clear.
His responses were left out so not to embarrass him.
- Maggie ~ Nov. 20, 2007 @ 10:36 p.m. EST.
P.S.: His ass shouldn't be worrying about which male friends I hang with. If he is not man enough to hang out as a human being, then I don't know.
ADDENDUM: Some guys DESERVE the title of DICK!
Beauty Off the Charts~
Encapsulated in timeless beauty, is a wonderful Prince who lives in the evergreen forest. From atop a mountain, the mighty Prince holds the world in one hand and a bolt of lightening in the other. The hand that holds the world does so in a manner that allows the sphere to rotate correctly on its axis ensuring life's continuance. The hand that holds the lightening bolt, clutches fiercely at it knowing the power the bolt possesses to create and destroy. However, there is equilibrium in his poise.
Elves whisper and pixies dances to a tune played by wood sprites' wings. His domain is lushly populated by large old trees and green moss carpet. The fragrant smell of pine, cedar, and fresh rain fill the air with a magickal mist that sprays its youth giving properties to all that enter within the realm. However, the entrance is limited. In the distance, water rolls around on rock beautifully draping the mountain side like a bride's veil blowing in the wind. Using the power of his mind, his striking and piercing blue eyes hold the sphere and bolt in place while his hands fill two vessels with fluid. His moves are graceful and balanced as is his spirit. The two could not be more intertwined and majestic.
Ever magickal, I can only look up in awe of his rare and un-daunting beauty and wonder how? Yet, for everything, there is a purpose...
Purple flowers picked and pressed
Wood from a beaver's mouth
Waters from the veil
Gloves from a mighty hand
The gift of fire
Sharing of food from dish to dish
A bracelet from another's wrist
A half blind raccoon almost bite
A small black bear just in sight
Some deer, goat, and geese...
A snail. A crab. A little fish...
Boyish grin and sleepy eyes
Tasteful and healthy
Encouraging words spoken and I hopped the rocks to the island
Magickal hands laid on my body
Sprinkled with love, time, understanding, silence, and touch...
What a recipe for beauty!!!
Dedicated to Nathan! ~ Arachne ~ April 30, 2007 @ 2:46 p.m.
Elves whisper and pixies dances to a tune played by wood sprites' wings. His domain is lushly populated by large old trees and green moss carpet. The fragrant smell of pine, cedar, and fresh rain fill the air with a magickal mist that sprays its youth giving properties to all that enter within the realm. However, the entrance is limited. In the distance, water rolls around on rock beautifully draping the mountain side like a bride's veil blowing in the wind. Using the power of his mind, his striking and piercing blue eyes hold the sphere and bolt in place while his hands fill two vessels with fluid. His moves are graceful and balanced as is his spirit. The two could not be more intertwined and majestic.
Ever magickal, I can only look up in awe of his rare and un-daunting beauty and wonder how? Yet, for everything, there is a purpose...
Purple flowers picked and pressed
Wood from a beaver's mouth
Waters from the veil
Gloves from a mighty hand
The gift of fire
Sharing of food from dish to dish
A bracelet from another's wrist
A half blind raccoon almost bite
A small black bear just in sight
Some deer, goat, and geese...
A snail. A crab. A little fish...
Boyish grin and sleepy eyes
Tasteful and healthy
Encouraging words spoken and I hopped the rocks to the island
Magickal hands laid on my body
Sprinkled with love, time, understanding, silence, and touch...
What a recipe for beauty!!!
Dedicated to Nathan! ~ Arachne ~ April 30, 2007 @ 2:46 p.m.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Entangled Breath of an Angel
In exhale, an entangled angel breathes speech
A breath of mild linguistics
Is caught in a wisp of wind
Obscurely sailing off
Hark! Silence draws upon the hallow souls
Tis naught themselves that they seek
But that of the entangled dying cherub
Alas, the hallow are left to die
Rather bleak outlook huh? Well, the words may be formed by me, however, my belief system strays from the norm. ~ Arachne ~ 4/18/07 @ 7:56 p.m.
A breath of mild linguistics
Is caught in a wisp of wind
Obscurely sailing off
Hark! Silence draws upon the hallow souls
Tis naught themselves that they seek
But that of the entangled dying cherub
Alas, the hallow are left to die
Rather bleak outlook huh? Well, the words may be formed by me, however, my belief system strays from the norm. ~ Arachne ~ 4/18/07 @ 7:56 p.m.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Border Crossing
On Friday, April 13th at approximately 4:45 p.m. I was at U.S. Customs. As is customary, I gave my band card and was readying my car registration for view and verification by the officer.
The first question he asked was the purpose of my trip so I told him that I was going to visit my daughter in Brooklyn.
He then asked what my citizenship was. Being the sly fox that I am, I stated that I was born in Brooklyn thereby letting him assume, but I did not claim citizenship. He questioned if I was claiming American citizenship and I said: Nah. He then asked if I was claiming native citizenship and I said: Yup. He then asked for a run down on my clan and family tree which I was more than happy to provide. After all the jabber, I told him that I had beer and blah blah blah in the car to which he replied: "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" He did not even bother to check into the car. Hell, could have had automatic weapons or nuclear bombs, but he didn't give a shit.
His line of questioning, leds me to believe that perhaps a leg to stand on could be had if more people claim independence from citizenship to either country (U.S. / Canada). As our homeland and people exist on both sides of THEIR border, the issue of citizenship to any country should be MOOT. Our problems are not theirs and we should not be forced to claim one or the other in order to see our loved ones.
Can government divide families as was done in the civil war? Can we be made to pick sides? The answer is NO. We must choose to stand tall, strong, and united as a people. We are of this continent and claim no ownership of land as ownership of land is not our way. Ownership of land is a white concept and not a native one.
Don't be fooled by your council chief(s) into believing that you must get a passport and claim citizenship as that is a ploy to gain more U.S./Canadian citizens and to decrease the sovereign people of the Haudenosaunee. Once again this is a land grab issue as once there are no more native people occupying the territory, the territory reverts back to the crown.
Your council does not act in your best interest and they never have. It is time to stand up for your rights. Speak up and out for what you believe and then act upon it. Know that united we stand strong and divided we fall. They are looking for division so we need to surprise them. ~ Maggie ~ Penned prior to 3:00 p.m. on April 17, 2007
Nia:wen ko:wa
LISTENING TO Janitor Jeans by FALAFEL MAFIA!!! Yee ha!
The first question he asked was the purpose of my trip so I told him that I was going to visit my daughter in Brooklyn.
He then asked what my citizenship was. Being the sly fox that I am, I stated that I was born in Brooklyn thereby letting him assume, but I did not claim citizenship. He questioned if I was claiming American citizenship and I said: Nah. He then asked if I was claiming native citizenship and I said: Yup. He then asked for a run down on my clan and family tree which I was more than happy to provide. After all the jabber, I told him that I had beer and blah blah blah in the car to which he replied: "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" He did not even bother to check into the car. Hell, could have had automatic weapons or nuclear bombs, but he didn't give a shit.
His line of questioning, leds me to believe that perhaps a leg to stand on could be had if more people claim independence from citizenship to either country (U.S. / Canada). As our homeland and people exist on both sides of THEIR border, the issue of citizenship to any country should be MOOT. Our problems are not theirs and we should not be forced to claim one or the other in order to see our loved ones.
Can government divide families as was done in the civil war? Can we be made to pick sides? The answer is NO. We must choose to stand tall, strong, and united as a people. We are of this continent and claim no ownership of land as ownership of land is not our way. Ownership of land is a white concept and not a native one.
Don't be fooled by your council chief(s) into believing that you must get a passport and claim citizenship as that is a ploy to gain more U.S./Canadian citizens and to decrease the sovereign people of the Haudenosaunee. Once again this is a land grab issue as once there are no more native people occupying the territory, the territory reverts back to the crown.
Your council does not act in your best interest and they never have. It is time to stand up for your rights. Speak up and out for what you believe and then act upon it. Know that united we stand strong and divided we fall. They are looking for division so we need to surprise them. ~ Maggie ~ Penned prior to 3:00 p.m. on April 17, 2007
Nia:wen ko:wa
LISTENING TO Janitor Jeans by FALAFEL MAFIA!!! Yee ha!
Monday, April 16, 2007
Friday the 13th Meets Nightmare on Elm Street
People, driving through this storm was no joke. Check out the last article below to see that it was a rain record breaker!
Although I left ½ hour later than I had expected, I arrived in Saratoga in 3 hours and 15 minutes. That is pretty good since the road was crawling with state troopers. After hanging with my friend and his family and having the DAMNED BEST HOME MADE PIZZA EVER, I attempted to continue my trip to Brooklyn. As the exit to Saratoga is 26 miles from the NYS Thruway ticket toll plaza which is approximately where Albany is, I was half way through my trip. I was approximately 30 miles from the city limits at the payment toll plaza in Harriman, NY, when I realized that I did not have my wallet. In order for me to reach someone, I had to drive to Ramapo to see if I could reach anyone. As I did not have any money, ID, license, or bank card , I tried to called folks collect and everyone's phone did not accept collect calls...except mom's, however, she was on the phone and could not be reached. Although I did try emergency interrupt, they don't do that through the Verison payphone system. By this time I was almost crying out of frustration as I was not sure what to do next. Ah ha! I shall call a cop. 911 was dialed and the details of the problem were relayed to the officer who was real sweet and connected me with the state police. After reiterating my problem with the state police, the officer called my friend who said YES, the wallet was there. The officer was nice enough to give my friend the number where I was at and he called me back. After speaking with him, I advised him that I would be returning to get it and should be there in a few hours. I headed to exit 15 (Suffern, NY) to turn around and head back.
Mind you, my exit to go to Brooklyn was 13 S. Yup, I was ½ hour away from Brooklyn.
By the time I arrived at his house, it was around 1:30 a.m. and I was flustered beyond belief. After two more helpings of delicious pizza, I crashed out.
Around 8:30 a.m. I woke and gave thanks to my friend for being so wonderful and headed out once again. Even though there was traffic heading into Manhattan and Brooklyn, Saturday April 14, 2007 was a gorgeous day full of warmth and sunshine.
Nix and I did some shopping in Brooklyn for a bit and then headed out to the Village for dinner and some shopping. In an effort to save time, I opted for a parking lot rather than look for a spot (which could take hours). Nix and I went to Panchito's for the finest Mexican food around. As we did not want to walk with the food, we went back to the parking lot and asked if we could put it in the car. The guy said sure and had us get into a another car that was being parked and we road the gauntlet of the gutted building which used to house a stable downstairs which was probably was a livery or other type of business. Let me just say, that it was a scary drive inside that building.
After the dump off of the food was made, Nix and I walked toward W8th and met Rico Fonesca and I bought a copy of his painting which he so sweetly signed. Rico is as much a part of the Village as the very streets themselves. He is against what he sees and what he portrays in paint speaks for itself. I would have loved to buy his poster entitled RICH/POOR as it spoke a thousand words. Rico has been on MacDougal Street near Washington Square for as long as I can remember. It is always a pleasure to stop and talk with him for awhile.
Although we did not get to hit everyplace we wanted to hit that night, we did get a few things and decided I would be cool to get tattooed together so we headed to back to Brooklyn. However, we had to get the car from the parking lot. When I went to pay, I almost shit as 3 hours cost me $45. Therefore, dinner cost me $120.
Anyway, we went to Michael Angelo's tattoo parlor and saw that there were people standing outside. Nix yelled out to them "is there a lot of people inside?" One of the guys answered back "uh huh" so Nix said "a lot lot?" and he replied "uh huh." Mikey is a great artist, however it is first come first serve and if your name is not on the board early enough, you just may sit there all night and never get seen. Nix suggested that we go to Brooklyn Ink so I went for it. After getting there and looking at all the sucky tatts that were available, I saw two that I figured could be incorporated. However, that major ass of an artist who is UNKNOWN to me wanted to charge $60 for a 1 ½ inch black widow. As far as I am concerned, he could go fuck himself as he would have to ink me in GOLD for that price. That schmuck is a NOBODY and I hope he goes out of business.
Upon getting back to Nix's apartment, I called Nathan and we spoke for a bit, but Gracie came to the door looking for me so I had to hang up and go hang out. At around 1:00 a.m. I went back to Nix's place to finally get some sleep and just as I closed my eyes, I saw a car accident. Mind you, I was not sleeping yet.
When I awoke at 8:30 a.m. a heavy rain was coming down and I tried to wake Nix to tell her that we better get done what needs to get done right now. As she was not ready to get up, I went downstairs to have a smoke and my head started to spin and I was starting to feel faint. As I got back upstairs, I just made it to the couch, and I passed out for 3 hours.
Nix woke me around 11:30 a.m. and I was very anxious to leave as I saw that we were experiencing a storm. She checked the internet and sure enough, a Nor-Easter was bogging down the a number of states with floods and snow. For sure I had to leave ASAP, however, Nix had things that NEEDED to be done before I left. Therefore, my ass was not on the road home until 2:20 p.m.
The FDR was like a river and the traffic was bad. There were times when I could not see as my windshield was flooded with water and my wipers were on high. People were hydroplaning out of control and it was a complete mess trying to get out of the city. I had thought the open road would offer some relief, but I was wrong. As I entered the Palisades Parkway, it started to snow and the roads were a mix of snow, ice, and water. Visibility was about 50 feet. Not very good driving conditions. However, I at least had the benefit of light. I wish the same could be said about Interstate 87 as I was driving in the dark with snow blowing straight onto me as I watched accident upon accident and people going out of control. Although most were doing about 35 miles per hour, it was very hazardous driving conditions.
My nerves were totally shot even before I reached Glens Falls. As I needed a break and wanted someone to know where I was, I called mom and told her in case I don't make it back, I love you and I hung up.
I stopped caring and started to drive faster as I so much wanted to get home one way or the other so I passed every sucker on the road and thought it is better to drive into the mountain than off of it. There was no road to be seen and it was a fake out drive with hope to live to see tomorrow. I was in charge of me and I did not want to be near other cars. I know and rely on my driving ability, but I don't know and can't rely on theirs. There were so many people in ditches and so many accidents, I had to stay alert and have eyes in back of my head.
Although it was a bitch driving blind on the I87, it was worse driving in Quebec. I thought that the land of ice and snow would have cleared the roads, but NOOOOOOOOO. It was a fucking mess. A single lane was kind of cleared and the single file was doing 25 mph. I did try to pass, but the passing lane was too snow covered to get into.
After 10 hours of shit and hell, I made it home in one piece and without a dent. However, I did resemble a chiwawa(sp?) in the back of a low rider as I was shaking so much.
So much for my weekend! Pish. ~ Arachne ~ April 16, 2007 at 10:23 p.m.
Although I left ½ hour later than I had expected, I arrived in Saratoga in 3 hours and 15 minutes. That is pretty good since the road was crawling with state troopers. After hanging with my friend and his family and having the DAMNED BEST HOME MADE PIZZA EVER, I attempted to continue my trip to Brooklyn. As the exit to Saratoga is 26 miles from the NYS Thruway ticket toll plaza which is approximately where Albany is, I was half way through my trip. I was approximately 30 miles from the city limits at the payment toll plaza in Harriman, NY, when I realized that I did not have my wallet. In order for me to reach someone, I had to drive to Ramapo to see if I could reach anyone. As I did not have any money, ID, license, or bank card , I tried to called folks collect and everyone's phone did not accept collect calls...except mom's, however, she was on the phone and could not be reached. Although I did try emergency interrupt, they don't do that through the Verison payphone system. By this time I was almost crying out of frustration as I was not sure what to do next. Ah ha! I shall call a cop. 911 was dialed and the details of the problem were relayed to the officer who was real sweet and connected me with the state police. After reiterating my problem with the state police, the officer called my friend who said YES, the wallet was there. The officer was nice enough to give my friend the number where I was at and he called me back. After speaking with him, I advised him that I would be returning to get it and should be there in a few hours. I headed to exit 15 (Suffern, NY) to turn around and head back.
Mind you, my exit to go to Brooklyn was 13 S. Yup, I was ½ hour away from Brooklyn.
By the time I arrived at his house, it was around 1:30 a.m. and I was flustered beyond belief. After two more helpings of delicious pizza, I crashed out.
Around 8:30 a.m. I woke and gave thanks to my friend for being so wonderful and headed out once again. Even though there was traffic heading into Manhattan and Brooklyn, Saturday April 14, 2007 was a gorgeous day full of warmth and sunshine.
Nix and I did some shopping in Brooklyn for a bit and then headed out to the Village for dinner and some shopping. In an effort to save time, I opted for a parking lot rather than look for a spot (which could take hours). Nix and I went to Panchito's for the finest Mexican food around. As we did not want to walk with the food, we went back to the parking lot and asked if we could put it in the car. The guy said sure and had us get into a another car that was being parked and we road the gauntlet of the gutted building which used to house a stable downstairs which was probably was a livery or other type of business. Let me just say, that it was a scary drive inside that building.
After the dump off of the food was made, Nix and I walked toward W8th and met Rico Fonesca and I bought a copy of his painting which he so sweetly signed. Rico is as much a part of the Village as the very streets themselves. He is against what he sees and what he portrays in paint speaks for itself. I would have loved to buy his poster entitled RICH/POOR as it spoke a thousand words. Rico has been on MacDougal Street near Washington Square for as long as I can remember. It is always a pleasure to stop and talk with him for awhile.
Although we did not get to hit everyplace we wanted to hit that night, we did get a few things and decided I would be cool to get tattooed together so we headed to back to Brooklyn. However, we had to get the car from the parking lot. When I went to pay, I almost shit as 3 hours cost me $45. Therefore, dinner cost me $120.
Anyway, we went to Michael Angelo's tattoo parlor and saw that there were people standing outside. Nix yelled out to them "is there a lot of people inside?" One of the guys answered back "uh huh" so Nix said "a lot lot?" and he replied "uh huh." Mikey is a great artist, however it is first come first serve and if your name is not on the board early enough, you just may sit there all night and never get seen. Nix suggested that we go to Brooklyn Ink so I went for it. After getting there and looking at all the sucky tatts that were available, I saw two that I figured could be incorporated. However, that major ass of an artist who is UNKNOWN to me wanted to charge $60 for a 1 ½ inch black widow. As far as I am concerned, he could go fuck himself as he would have to ink me in GOLD for that price. That schmuck is a NOBODY and I hope he goes out of business.
Upon getting back to Nix's apartment, I called Nathan and we spoke for a bit, but Gracie came to the door looking for me so I had to hang up and go hang out. At around 1:00 a.m. I went back to Nix's place to finally get some sleep and just as I closed my eyes, I saw a car accident. Mind you, I was not sleeping yet.
When I awoke at 8:30 a.m. a heavy rain was coming down and I tried to wake Nix to tell her that we better get done what needs to get done right now. As she was not ready to get up, I went downstairs to have a smoke and my head started to spin and I was starting to feel faint. As I got back upstairs, I just made it to the couch, and I passed out for 3 hours.
Nix woke me around 11:30 a.m. and I was very anxious to leave as I saw that we were experiencing a storm. She checked the internet and sure enough, a Nor-Easter was bogging down the a number of states with floods and snow. For sure I had to leave ASAP, however, Nix had things that NEEDED to be done before I left. Therefore, my ass was not on the road home until 2:20 p.m.
The FDR was like a river and the traffic was bad. There were times when I could not see as my windshield was flooded with water and my wipers were on high. People were hydroplaning out of control and it was a complete mess trying to get out of the city. I had thought the open road would offer some relief, but I was wrong. As I entered the Palisades Parkway, it started to snow and the roads were a mix of snow, ice, and water. Visibility was about 50 feet. Not very good driving conditions. However, I at least had the benefit of light. I wish the same could be said about Interstate 87 as I was driving in the dark with snow blowing straight onto me as I watched accident upon accident and people going out of control. Although most were doing about 35 miles per hour, it was very hazardous driving conditions.
My nerves were totally shot even before I reached Glens Falls. As I needed a break and wanted someone to know where I was, I called mom and told her in case I don't make it back, I love you and I hung up.
I stopped caring and started to drive faster as I so much wanted to get home one way or the other so I passed every sucker on the road and thought it is better to drive into the mountain than off of it. There was no road to be seen and it was a fake out drive with hope to live to see tomorrow. I was in charge of me and I did not want to be near other cars. I know and rely on my driving ability, but I don't know and can't rely on theirs. There were so many people in ditches and so many accidents, I had to stay alert and have eyes in back of my head.
Although it was a bitch driving blind on the I87, it was worse driving in Quebec. I thought that the land of ice and snow would have cleared the roads, but NOOOOOOOOO. It was a fucking mess. A single lane was kind of cleared and the single file was doing 25 mph. I did try to pass, but the passing lane was too snow covered to get into.
After 10 hours of shit and hell, I made it home in one piece and without a dent. However, I did resemble a chiwawa(sp?) in the back of a low rider as I was shaking so much.
So much for my weekend! Pish. ~ Arachne ~ April 16, 2007 at 10:23 p.m.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Thinking of my MA once again...
As much as I want my MA in history, it does seem wasteful to have to get a second BA to do so. Perhaps I can find a program that is willing to test my knowledge of history and give credit for previously acquired knowledge. If it is a paper they want, a paper is what they will get. If it is a matter of multiple choice or an interview with a professor, so be it. However, the want and need to acquire more knowledge is irking me.
It is not that I wish to make money with my degree as that is not what I seek from my credentials. More so, I seek satisfaction via self fulfillment and the sharing of knowledge. My goal has always been my Ph.D. and as I am not yet dead, that dream could and may be fulfilled.
A master's proposal was written for my alma mater Goddard College last year, however, I think I would much prefer the structure of another private institution in the United States (NY or VT) that will offer me small night classes with student participation and interaction. What I seek is not so much a boring lecture, but more at artful presentation of history and the WHYs behind the occurrences. If thought upon correctly, I would need to major in history and minor in interdisciplinary studies to see the full picture.
Call me a buffoon if you will, but I like to learn for the sake of doing so. ~ Arachne ~ April 10, 2007 @ 5:08 p.m.
It is not that I wish to make money with my degree as that is not what I seek from my credentials. More so, I seek satisfaction via self fulfillment and the sharing of knowledge. My goal has always been my Ph.D. and as I am not yet dead, that dream could and may be fulfilled.
A master's proposal was written for my alma mater Goddard College last year, however, I think I would much prefer the structure of another private institution in the United States (NY or VT) that will offer me small night classes with student participation and interaction. What I seek is not so much a boring lecture, but more at artful presentation of history and the WHYs behind the occurrences. If thought upon correctly, I would need to major in history and minor in interdisciplinary studies to see the full picture.
Call me a buffoon if you will, but I like to learn for the sake of doing so. ~ Arachne ~ April 10, 2007 @ 5:08 p.m.
CLIT ~vs~ PENIS and PENIS ~vs~ CLIT
Women, you know that your clit is special to you right? Maybe guys are not too sure what to do with it huh? Maybe? Now I don’t know how many of you think like me or have thought about this before, but take a nice up close and personal look at your clit or your friend’s and describe it. Does it look familiar to you even if real small? It swells when excited and twitches right? It has a hood? Are you catching on yet?
Men, you guys worry too much about dick size. That shit between a woman’s legs that you are not too sure what to do with is just a TEENY TINY PENIS. Yup. Look at it again boys. Granted we don’t have BALLS, but as we have estrogen, so do you. As you have testosterone, so do we. Guess, what? If a woman were to have a sex change, the hormones would enlarge her clit to be a penis.
So, when you are down there rug munching and she is FAKING orgasm, pretend to suck cock and make her really cum!!! At least you don’t have to deep throat it as your lips will do just fine!!
Before I head to Calgary, I will be doing some plumbing in my house as I am bringing my DIAL-O-MATIC shower massage with me. Ah, don’t worry I have the okay to bring it. Do I have a water fetish? NAH ~ Arachne ~ April 10, 2007 @ 2:27 a.m.
Men, you guys worry too much about dick size. That shit between a woman’s legs that you are not too sure what to do with is just a TEENY TINY PENIS. Yup. Look at it again boys. Granted we don’t have BALLS, but as we have estrogen, so do you. As you have testosterone, so do we. Guess, what? If a woman were to have a sex change, the hormones would enlarge her clit to be a penis.
So, when you are down there rug munching and she is FAKING orgasm, pretend to suck cock and make her really cum!!! At least you don’t have to deep throat it as your lips will do just fine!!
Before I head to Calgary, I will be doing some plumbing in my house as I am bringing my DIAL-O-MATIC shower massage with me. Ah, don’t worry I have the okay to bring it. Do I have a water fetish? NAH ~ Arachne ~ April 10, 2007 @ 2:27 a.m.
NEO
Abstract in structure so much so that visuals can be made upon verbiage. Spirals of notions play in the synapse causing playfulness and creativity. Mind open enormous to data spoken or viewed is captured and all is understood. NEO NEO NEO!!! ~ Arachne ~ April 10, 2007 @ 12:05 a.m.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Spidey Senses
My spidey senses are tingling. They scream WARNING WARNING!!! The eyes that are in back of my head are wide open and scoping with magnification. My ears are listening to every little blip and beep looking for error. My spine is in relaxed mode until the need to strike is necessary. Maybe I won't have to wind the coil part of my noose all the way if I am wrong. Perhaps I can just leave it partially constructed until the platform is complete as the floor needs to drop out for the body to swing. ~ MAX a/k/a Maggie ~ April 9, 2007 @ 8:26 p.m.
For OrpheusObject~ Celebrating Your Death In Regard to the Stiff:
When seeking a body double, you would need someone who is similar in height, weight, and body type. The blood type would need to be the same. The DNA would have to be similar (family member). Pull the teeth of your victim so that dental records can't be matched and cut off fingertips to ensure that fingerprints can't be lifted. Think about whether you have any broken bones or other medical data (i.e., diabetes, hepatitis, arthritis) as that would help to prove/disprove identity. Think forensically.
Murder & Arson:
After you murder your body double and remove internal organs, teeth, and fingertips (it has to look like the work of a psycho), fill the abdominal cavity with gasoline or other flammable liquid. Pour the same flammable liquid all over the crime scene as well and in other rooms to heat the place up. Take some gun powder and create a small line that leads to your exit and then strike a match and let it rip. You should hear a WHOOSH sound.
What is left of your body double can then be cremated so that we may celebrate and be merry at your death party!
That is called having your cake and eating too. *snicker ~ Maggie ~ April 9, 2007 @ 5:00 p.m.
Murder & Arson:
After you murder your body double and remove internal organs, teeth, and fingertips (it has to look like the work of a psycho), fill the abdominal cavity with gasoline or other flammable liquid. Pour the same flammable liquid all over the crime scene as well and in other rooms to heat the place up. Take some gun powder and create a small line that leads to your exit and then strike a match and let it rip. You should hear a WHOOSH sound.
What is left of your body double can then be cremated so that we may celebrate and be merry at your death party!
That is called having your cake and eating too. *snicker ~ Maggie ~ April 9, 2007 @ 5:00 p.m.
Friday, April 6, 2007
A Conversation With My Mother
Mom called and we were talking bullshit and then she starts talking about getting life insurance for her burial. So I asked her what do you care, you'll be dead. This part of the conversation really got me going especially when she said that she wants to make sure that everyone has sandwiches. I was like WTF? When I asked her why she cared if they ate or not and she got real mad and said that people ate sandwiches at her mother's and her grandmother's funeral. She knows that I don't give a rat's ass if anyone eats at the funeral or not. I told her it is a funeral and not a picnic. Funerals are so bogus. When I asked if she wanted the crusts cut off the bread, she hung up on me and I was rolling on the floor laughing. ~ Maggie ~ April 6, 2007 @ 8:37 p.m.
I forgot to include the part where she said: It is my funeral and I want sandwiches. Isn't that a retarded thought that she is still going to be worried about what others think even after she is dead. BIZARRE!!!!
I forgot to include the part where she said: It is my funeral and I want sandwiches. Isn't that a retarded thought that she is still going to be worried about what others think even after she is dead. BIZARRE!!!!
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
DIVISIONS:
We are all members of the human race
And shouldn't look at color to judge a face
When we bleed, we bleed the same
Divisions come by giving names
Are you black, white, red, or yellow?
Aren't we all of the same fellow?
If we were all literally blind
Perhaps we would judge based on mind
Liking a person for who they are
And not what is VIEWED would ban the bar
The elderly are OLD, but have much to give
In the stories they tell of the life they have lived
Yet more oft than not, they are cast aside
As who has time for the old if not wise?
What if our brother or sister were gay?
Would we throw our relationship away?
Really we are not all so different from them
As one loves women and the other men
If looked at real close, we are all the same
Unfortunately, most of us are not humane ~ Maggie 4/3/07 @ 4:54 p.m.
Can prejudice be put aside in any sense of the word? Does everything have to be superficial and conformed? Political correctness does not equate with equality on any level.
And shouldn't look at color to judge a face
When we bleed, we bleed the same
Divisions come by giving names
Are you black, white, red, or yellow?
Aren't we all of the same fellow?
If we were all literally blind
Perhaps we would judge based on mind
Liking a person for who they are
And not what is VIEWED would ban the bar
The elderly are OLD, but have much to give
In the stories they tell of the life they have lived
Yet more oft than not, they are cast aside
As who has time for the old if not wise?
What if our brother or sister were gay?
Would we throw our relationship away?
Really we are not all so different from them
As one loves women and the other men
If looked at real close, we are all the same
Unfortunately, most of us are not humane ~ Maggie 4/3/07 @ 4:54 p.m.
Can prejudice be put aside in any sense of the word? Does everything have to be superficial and conformed? Political correctness does not equate with equality on any level.
Poor...
As I have said in the past, the only one true thing I can rely on is myself. I would rather live poor and free. Granted money does give benefit to certain freedoms, but those freedoms cost freedom.
Perhaps chaos is not something that I deal with too well. When hired to do a job, I give that job 110% and use my education, experience, and personality to do the job effectively and with proper organization. That is not to say that I am totally structured, however, when there is a goal to be had, you can bet your sweet ass that I have the structure of a drill sergeant and my actions are full force.
Perchance I am a wee bit tired of antics of instability. When things are left willy nilly and excellence is sought, it is difficult and frustrating to obtain and maintain it. Let me go away with myself and decide that which needs to be decided upon. Everything is a 50/50 shot right? Again, I must look at the situation as a win/win regardless of the outcome. ~ Maggie 4/3/07 @ 12:33 a.m.
Perhaps chaos is not something that I deal with too well. When hired to do a job, I give that job 110% and use my education, experience, and personality to do the job effectively and with proper organization. That is not to say that I am totally structured, however, when there is a goal to be had, you can bet your sweet ass that I have the structure of a drill sergeant and my actions are full force.
Perchance I am a wee bit tired of antics of instability. When things are left willy nilly and excellence is sought, it is difficult and frustrating to obtain and maintain it. Let me go away with myself and decide that which needs to be decided upon. Everything is a 50/50 shot right? Again, I must look at the situation as a win/win regardless of the outcome. ~ Maggie 4/3/07 @ 12:33 a.m.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
War Propaganda? - Edited
Without saying too much, check these eight (8) sites out. Thanks. On second thought, I must put in my two cents. If I had to make an educated guess as to where truth lied in the flag raising, it would be geared more toward how it is portrayed in the movie as no man in their right mind would want to relive the horrors of war to raise money for political purposes. In looking at Ira Hayes' bio, one could almost SEE that it ate him up. Those political assholes are always up to their eyeballs in SHIT and the majority of the people buy it. PISH!~ Maggie ~ 4/1/07 @ 8:59 p.m.
http://www.history.navy.mil/faqs/faq87-3l.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/ca/dickg/flagwtc.html
http://www.montney.com/marine/iwo.htm
http://www.msu.edu/~navarro6/srop.html
http://www.albanyinstitute.org/exhibits/wwII.posters.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flags_of_Our_Fathers_%28film%29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raising_the_Flag_on_Iwo_Jima
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ira_Hayes
http://www.history.navy.mil/faqs/faq87-3l.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/ca/dickg/flagwtc.html
http://www.montney.com/marine/iwo.htm
http://www.msu.edu/~navarro6/srop.html
http://www.albanyinstitute.org/exhibits/wwII.posters.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flags_of_Our_Fathers_%28film%29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raising_the_Flag_on_Iwo_Jima
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ira_Hayes
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Death...
Why do people worry about funeral expenses? Isn't that a retarded concept? Hello??? Bah duh...you are dead. Why worry: be happy! Okay, it could be said that close relations would then have to foot the bill if you did not make "arrangements." Only if they are stupid would they foot the bill. Why spend money on the dead when the living need it more. So what if it is "nice" to send flowers. Is it really nice? Why kill all those flowers just to dump them on a dead body later. There seems to be a lack of logic here.
Do people really pay their last respects and is the body in the coffin the person they really knew? Didn't the person that they knew not look so plastic or filled with cotton? Did the person feel like stone and were they cold and bloodless? NAH! The ancient Greeks and Vikings were doing something right by burning the bodies and sending them skybound in billows of smoke.
The funeral ghouls just want your money. Bury the body in your yard and be quiet about it. Hey, if it is your land, why not. Live long and prosper my friends. Do I sound cold? Nah. It is just a figment of your imagination which you will get over in due course. ~ Maggie 3/28/07 @ 7:12 p.m.
Do people really pay their last respects and is the body in the coffin the person they really knew? Didn't the person that they knew not look so plastic or filled with cotton? Did the person feel like stone and were they cold and bloodless? NAH! The ancient Greeks and Vikings were doing something right by burning the bodies and sending them skybound in billows of smoke.
The funeral ghouls just want your money. Bury the body in your yard and be quiet about it. Hey, if it is your land, why not. Live long and prosper my friends. Do I sound cold? Nah. It is just a figment of your imagination which you will get over in due course. ~ Maggie 3/28/07 @ 7:12 p.m.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Dinner in the Sewer
Disheveled and grimy
His blackened hands lift the manhole cover
And he emerges from the bowels of the sewer
In search of food
He seeks out the weak and vulnerable
As he does not like a struggle
With a dull knife in hand,
He makes his way to a darkened doorway and waits
Many walk past him yet never even see him
Seemingly part of the scenery, he melds in like a chameleon
However, even if exposed, he would escape the eyes of passers by
As that is the usual way of the streets
In solitude, he has time to ponder dinner
Shall it be flank, leg, rump roast, or blade?
Breast has not been had in some time, then again, the meat is not that fair
These thoughts make him salivate and grow anxious
Running his finger along his dull blade, he smiles
Anticipation is building and his stomach starts to growl
There is lone movement on the sidewalk and his attention is drawn
Drawn and fixed on that which wobbles from side to side
And is approaching slowly
He rises from his recess and readies himself for attack
Just as the body passes him, he applies a left arm choke hold
While repeatedly stabbing the kidneys of his victim
As the body goes limp, he allows for the natural drop
Lifting his dinner by the collar, he drags him off the nearest manhole
And disappears back into the sewer ~ Maggie 3/17/07 @ 6:56 p.m.
His blackened hands lift the manhole cover
And he emerges from the bowels of the sewer
In search of food
He seeks out the weak and vulnerable
As he does not like a struggle
With a dull knife in hand,
He makes his way to a darkened doorway and waits
Many walk past him yet never even see him
Seemingly part of the scenery, he melds in like a chameleon
However, even if exposed, he would escape the eyes of passers by
As that is the usual way of the streets
In solitude, he has time to ponder dinner
Shall it be flank, leg, rump roast, or blade?
Breast has not been had in some time, then again, the meat is not that fair
These thoughts make him salivate and grow anxious
Running his finger along his dull blade, he smiles
Anticipation is building and his stomach starts to growl
There is lone movement on the sidewalk and his attention is drawn
Drawn and fixed on that which wobbles from side to side
And is approaching slowly
He rises from his recess and readies himself for attack
Just as the body passes him, he applies a left arm choke hold
While repeatedly stabbing the kidneys of his victim
As the body goes limp, he allows for the natural drop
Lifting his dinner by the collar, he drags him off the nearest manhole
And disappears back into the sewer ~ Maggie 3/17/07 @ 6:56 p.m.
HIM (Acronym: He In Me)
Your head lies in my lap and I listen to the words you speak. I watch your face through amazed eyes and see thoughts expressed through facial expressions and hand movement. The feeling is cozy and warm as comfort is abound and freedom reigns. We can be who we are.
I stroke your head while I listen to you and I begin to stir. Maybe it is my breathing or my movement that gets you stirring and you pull me forward to kiss you. Our mouths are open and our tongues start off slow and become more wild with each lash. This intensity is followed to the floor as we tear each others clothes off like animals.
You know that I want to be tied so you grab me and...
A struggle is given as that is more fun as I want you to work for it. I try to bite you...maybe I succeed, but I want you and you sense it. Your force is stronger than mine and that arouses me like a cat in heat.
O, mind of fantasy lift me and take me away
Art there no end to my longing?
Bring me to the arms that I want draped around me
Bring me to the lips that I want to kiss
Allow me the warmth of thy body under cold sheets
Allow me the gentle caresses and rough play that thou art capable of
Art thou there in reality?
Aye, as I have heard thee stir!
Lest we tear ourselves from this dreamlike state, reality will not occur. Dost the pain of longing bear more weight? Nay to pain and aye to joy! The joy of caring and sharing as we have been doing...one more step beyond. Art thou at the edge? My fingers grip the cliff's cuff and yet I want to free fall for the rush of it all. Let's splatter the walls with blood and litter the floor with paper or mags. Let's paint the walls, ceilings, and floors black and enter the constellations in every room. Lit only by candles held by skeletal hands that have long ago lost feeling. We cast enough to feel for all the bones that have yet to turn to dust. ~ Maggie ~ Dec 15, 2006
---------------
Dreams of a soft spring night bring me to his arms
We hug and stare into each other's starry eyes which have told many stories
Only now the glimmer seems...
I feel your lips kissing my neck and shivers run down my spine
Kisses in other regions bring deeper shivers and yet I want more
I have felt these kisses in my mind as you spoke of them
However, reality is longed for
Will you pin me down and make me struggle?
Struggle for that which I want in the first place?
Maybe you will tie and tease me and grant yourself the right of full exploration
Then again, perhaps passion will not allow time for such a game
At least not at first
The world is our playground and nothing is predefined or limited
Perhaps ritual sex in a tomb could be had
Making love in the grass on a warm night
Rough sex in a bed
Wild sex in a car
Sharing thoughts about life which end on the floor in nakedness' delight
Toys and play...play and toys
Roles to be had and scenes to be done
Who is who?
What has been won?
Prizes that we both want and will share accordingly
In that which we have only grazed the surface with subtlety
The beautiful subtlety that leaves questions unanswered
The subtlety that makes my mind wonder
Simple words that bring me to climax
The complexity has yet to be felt by two...
Doused with butterscotch
You can be my lollipop
Gently I enjoy the concoction
While bringing you pleasure
A pleasure that is actually my greed
I want you to cum first
As I will have you longer each time afterward
Although fairly gentle in that area
The desire to bite you is there
To bite you while in the heat of the moment
While you are inside me
My nails rake your back and dig in
Not because I want to hurt you
No...more so because of the intensity which I cannot hide
I want you to bite me in various places and drive me wild
Pain and pleasure are one
Open your mind and allow me to enter
See the possibilities of what has not been totally discussed
The wonderful delights of torture on a subject most willing
I am most willing
However, I can take you in my own ways although not dom
Fear would not be had in throwing you down to go down on you
Nor to ride you while you slumber or are awake
How deep will you sleep if sleep is had?
Will you wake to a candle lit room?
Will I be in a costume geared for a game?
Perhaps you will be too tired...however, if my hunger is great
I will attempt to arouse you nonetheless
In sleep you will feel my mouth take you in
And I will feel it grow within my mouth
You can pretend to sleep, but I will watch for other signs
Is his breathing different?
Do his toes curl?
Is there a gentle moan?
Sleep can be played off, but your member will tell me otherwise
As such, full advantage will be taken of my prize and satisfaction will be had
Aye, I am a greedy woman ~ Maggie ~ 3/17/07
I stroke your head while I listen to you and I begin to stir. Maybe it is my breathing or my movement that gets you stirring and you pull me forward to kiss you. Our mouths are open and our tongues start off slow and become more wild with each lash. This intensity is followed to the floor as we tear each others clothes off like animals.
You know that I want to be tied so you grab me and...
A struggle is given as that is more fun as I want you to work for it. I try to bite you...maybe I succeed, but I want you and you sense it. Your force is stronger than mine and that arouses me like a cat in heat.
O, mind of fantasy lift me and take me away
Art there no end to my longing?
Bring me to the arms that I want draped around me
Bring me to the lips that I want to kiss
Allow me the warmth of thy body under cold sheets
Allow me the gentle caresses and rough play that thou art capable of
Art thou there in reality?
Aye, as I have heard thee stir!
Lest we tear ourselves from this dreamlike state, reality will not occur. Dost the pain of longing bear more weight? Nay to pain and aye to joy! The joy of caring and sharing as we have been doing...one more step beyond. Art thou at the edge? My fingers grip the cliff's cuff and yet I want to free fall for the rush of it all. Let's splatter the walls with blood and litter the floor with paper or mags. Let's paint the walls, ceilings, and floors black and enter the constellations in every room. Lit only by candles held by skeletal hands that have long ago lost feeling. We cast enough to feel for all the bones that have yet to turn to dust. ~ Maggie ~ Dec 15, 2006
---------------
Dreams of a soft spring night bring me to his arms
We hug and stare into each other's starry eyes which have told many stories
Only now the glimmer seems...
I feel your lips kissing my neck and shivers run down my spine
Kisses in other regions bring deeper shivers and yet I want more
I have felt these kisses in my mind as you spoke of them
However, reality is longed for
Will you pin me down and make me struggle?
Struggle for that which I want in the first place?
Maybe you will tie and tease me and grant yourself the right of full exploration
Then again, perhaps passion will not allow time for such a game
At least not at first
The world is our playground and nothing is predefined or limited
Perhaps ritual sex in a tomb could be had
Making love in the grass on a warm night
Rough sex in a bed
Wild sex in a car
Sharing thoughts about life which end on the floor in nakedness' delight
Toys and play...play and toys
Roles to be had and scenes to be done
Who is who?
What has been won?
Prizes that we both want and will share accordingly
In that which we have only grazed the surface with subtlety
The beautiful subtlety that leaves questions unanswered
The subtlety that makes my mind wonder
Simple words that bring me to climax
The complexity has yet to be felt by two...
Doused with butterscotch
You can be my lollipop
Gently I enjoy the concoction
While bringing you pleasure
A pleasure that is actually my greed
I want you to cum first
As I will have you longer each time afterward
Although fairly gentle in that area
The desire to bite you is there
To bite you while in the heat of the moment
While you are inside me
My nails rake your back and dig in
Not because I want to hurt you
No...more so because of the intensity which I cannot hide
I want you to bite me in various places and drive me wild
Pain and pleasure are one
Open your mind and allow me to enter
See the possibilities of what has not been totally discussed
The wonderful delights of torture on a subject most willing
I am most willing
However, I can take you in my own ways although not dom
Fear would not be had in throwing you down to go down on you
Nor to ride you while you slumber or are awake
How deep will you sleep if sleep is had?
Will you wake to a candle lit room?
Will I be in a costume geared for a game?
Perhaps you will be too tired...however, if my hunger is great
I will attempt to arouse you nonetheless
In sleep you will feel my mouth take you in
And I will feel it grow within my mouth
You can pretend to sleep, but I will watch for other signs
Is his breathing different?
Do his toes curl?
Is there a gentle moan?
Sleep can be played off, but your member will tell me otherwise
As such, full advantage will be taken of my prize and satisfaction will be had
Aye, I am a greedy woman ~ Maggie ~ 3/17/07
Thursday, March 15, 2007
New York...
The booger wants me to travel and so do I. Actually, the parade is this Saturday, but I am working so that is a no go. However, if a certain party comes through tonight (running 1:26 min late thus far), then it is a possibility within the next two weeks. The party came through (cash in hand). Now if the rest of the moolah comes through next week....I'll see ya babes. I could do a night an then pull a U and return...been there and done that without the benefit of a night. Man, I do dislike driving during sun up...must be the vamp in me.
The way I am thinking, I could leave right after work and make it there by 10:30 or 11:00 p.m. ( boo hiss spit coppers are out). As my peddle won't be to the metal, it will take longer. Besides, I can't shoot by Saratoga without stopping to see Stevie boy. Right Stevie?
Looking forward to FREEDOM of the road and speed...wind through my hair. The music is soooo loud the deaf could hear it. Actually, I love to scare the penguins with it. Especially, during a school crossing with Cradle of Filth. "Arch angel dark angel lend me thy light..." Bah on the penguins (nuns). ~ Maggie - 3/15/07 @ 8:57 p.m.
The way I am thinking, I could leave right after work and make it there by 10:30 or 11:00 p.m. ( boo hiss spit coppers are out). As my peddle won't be to the metal, it will take longer. Besides, I can't shoot by Saratoga without stopping to see Stevie boy. Right Stevie?
Looking forward to FREEDOM of the road and speed...wind through my hair. The music is soooo loud the deaf could hear it. Actually, I love to scare the penguins with it. Especially, during a school crossing with Cradle of Filth. "Arch angel dark angel lend me thy light..." Bah on the penguins (nuns). ~ Maggie - 3/15/07 @ 8:57 p.m.
Monday, March 12, 2007
FUCKED UP
Bad news is like a brick to the head. If only I could reach out and help I would, but I can't. No magick exists in my fingertips to help the person I wish to help: the person I wish to hear laugh and see smile. Okay, so I have stumbled upon an obstacle that I can't change, help, or dismiss. That is fucked. Where is/are the supposed god(s) when he/she/it is needed? Bah!!!!
BOO~ HISS~SPIT!!!! ~ Maggie ~ 3/12/07 @ 10:48 p.m.
DON'T ASK AND DON'T COMMENT. Thank you.
BOO~ HISS~SPIT!!!! ~ Maggie ~ 3/12/07 @ 10:48 p.m.
DON'T ASK AND DON'T COMMENT. Thank you.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
He called me "MAX"
"MAX" was called upon and a new breeze of life occurred
Spoken and heard in dreamlike manner
Conjuring images of past, present, and possible future
Stirring from a bottomless pit resurrected and uninspected
Hark and check...
What venom has been released and into whose veins?
What darkness has loomed out of the envelope...
Only lying slightly below eyes mildly grazed?
The well is deeper then the chain allows
Thus the bucket ne'er quite touches the bottom
Effectual when seeking obscurity ~ Maggie (a/k/a MAX) 3/10/07 @ 1:29 a.m.
A wee bit earlier...
Everything is stored in memory flatly until retrieval is necessary. Upon retrieval via reiterated information or instances of glitched information, the original data appears like a three dimensional object when restored to the foreground of the program. Aye, I do think like a computer. ~ MAX ~ 3.10.07
Nathan has given new life to Max and I thank him with all my heart. Only close old friends and Drew called me Max and now he does. What a guy...gotta love him!
Spoken and heard in dreamlike manner
Conjuring images of past, present, and possible future
Stirring from a bottomless pit resurrected and uninspected
Hark and check...
What venom has been released and into whose veins?
What darkness has loomed out of the envelope...
Only lying slightly below eyes mildly grazed?
The well is deeper then the chain allows
Thus the bucket ne'er quite touches the bottom
Effectual when seeking obscurity ~ Maggie (a/k/a MAX) 3/10/07 @ 1:29 a.m.
A wee bit earlier...
Everything is stored in memory flatly until retrieval is necessary. Upon retrieval via reiterated information or instances of glitched information, the original data appears like a three dimensional object when restored to the foreground of the program. Aye, I do think like a computer. ~ MAX ~ 3.10.07
Nathan has given new life to Max and I thank him with all my heart. Only close old friends and Drew called me Max and now he does. What a guy...gotta love him!
Monday, March 5, 2007
Call this a hunch...
*This is based on a discussion with someone on March 4, 2007.
Call this a hunch, but I don't think I will be going to Edmonton. This is being posted 4 days after the fact as gave the benefit of the doubt to the individual to see if they would come through.
As I am going to be in the person's neighborhood or pretty close, I was going to go visit them. Mind you that I would have had to have purchased a bus ticket and changed my flight back to Montreal from Edmonton rather than Calgary. Hell, I don't mind running around to do shit, but when the person I am going to go visit can't even let me know certain information, then gee I don't know. Perhaps it or I am a goof. Ah bah! If it is a joke, I'm laughing as there are no hard feelings. Nathan did say that I was wasting my time and he was right. Nathan is such a doll. He knew that I liked this guy and he trusted me and was okay with my decision. Gotta love him as he is such a sweetie.
NOTE: Trust first instincts as they are usually correct. This was written to verify my hunch. Kudos to me!!! ~ Maggie ~ Written 3/5/07 ~ Posted on 3/8/07
Call this a hunch, but I don't think I will be going to Edmonton. This is being posted 4 days after the fact as gave the benefit of the doubt to the individual to see if they would come through.
As I am going to be in the person's neighborhood or pretty close, I was going to go visit them. Mind you that I would have had to have purchased a bus ticket and changed my flight back to Montreal from Edmonton rather than Calgary. Hell, I don't mind running around to do shit, but when the person I am going to go visit can't even let me know certain information, then gee I don't know. Perhaps it or I am a goof. Ah bah! If it is a joke, I'm laughing as there are no hard feelings. Nathan did say that I was wasting my time and he was right. Nathan is such a doll. He knew that I liked this guy and he trusted me and was okay with my decision. Gotta love him as he is such a sweetie.
NOTE: Trust first instincts as they are usually correct. This was written to verify my hunch. Kudos to me!!! ~ Maggie ~ Written 3/5/07 ~ Posted on 3/8/07
Discussion From Hell: The Opening of an Old Wound
Last night I let loose and discussed Sadie with Nathan. He asked me to tell him about her and not too many ask as not too many know the situation. I admire the man for wanting to really get to know me for me and to explore how I came to be what I am. Reliving the time frame hurt and I did cry. I don't hate Sadie for abusing me nor do I hate my mother for her refusal to acknowledge the fact. All I want from mom is for her to accept me for who I am. She dislikes me because I am not who she wanted me to be. Her actions used to get to me and I had attempted suicide a few times starting at 13 until not all that long ago. However, I will not go down that road with her again. I am me and I will always be me until I die. When she is dead and gone, I will still be me as I can never be HER. Although, I had sought her love and approval when I was younger, much younger, that stopped when I was around nine (9) years old as I realized that approval would never come. So far, I am right. ~ Arachne 3/3/07 ~ Penned at 11:00 a.m.
* No wonder I never used to smile. Actually, smiling and laughter are something new and delightful to me.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Was listening to 99.9 THE BUZZ ~ Burlington, VT
Sadie, Rats, and Motels
Despite all the crap that I have lived through, I am thankful for every moment of it as it made me who and what I am. Had life been easy and viewed through rose colored glasses, I may have turned out different. Gee, I could have been a pansy posy...blind to reality and unaware of back doors, side entrances, and the sneak approach.
Being a lowlife had its benefits and downfalls, yet if I had to do it all over gain, I wouldn't change a thing. Hell was okay and thought me well.
To be honest, it felt good to go live with Sadie as an adult and to face her head on as I could protect myself. However, that old bat carried a loaded Saturday Night Special in her purse. She showed me on a few occasions and I would assume that was her way of intimidating me. Guess what? It didn't work. Actually, while I was in South Carolina, her friend shot and killed a man. Sure I chose to live with my abuser rather than stay with my mom as that was the more logical choice.
Much of what I could deal with most people would skeeve. How many women could kill rats without a real weapon? I used to smother them in the glue rat traps. Hence the name Rat Girl is appropriate.
The last critter that I killed was about as big as my cat. A loud screech came from my bedroom which I thought was the cat clawing the window. When I got up to go check out my room, out ran this big black sewer rat with the cat not far behind it.
As rats like to run against the walls rather than out in the open, I had strategically placed the traps all over the place as I was infested. Unfortunately, Kat Kat did not kill the critter and she left the kitchen to go chill in the livingroom. Lazy cat. When I went to check the traps, there was nothing there the first few times. However, another check revealed that big bastard stuck in the trap trying to pull himself out of the glue. Kat Kat had poked out one of its beady black eyes and it did not look too happy. I took my broom and was trying to push it's head into the glue when the shit bit the broom handle and wouldn't let go. Holding the broom handle with the rat at the end, I grabbed the mop handle and tried to push its head under again...just the snout. You know? That little prick was not going down easy. I had to get another trap and drop it on top of this moving biting critter to make a rat trap sandwich out of him. I smothered and disposed of the bastard. RAT - 0...ME - 1. Got big sewer rats? Call Arachne. LOL
Of all the rats that I had to tangle with, only one got away and he left much of his fur behind.
WARNING: Do not try this at home unless you have big gonads as rats will attack you when cornered.
Bed bugs, roaches, water bugs, spiders, worms, and snakes don't bother me. Centipedes on the other hand do. I kill those suckers.
Today I was talking to my cousin and was telling her about the funny comments left about fleabag motels in Edmonton. I find it funny as I could deal with it. Hell the shitholes in Jersey that went for $25 per night were real dives and gross, but who cares. If the sheets are dirty you make them change them. Who cares about the paint on the walls, broken wall lights, dirty shower curtains, and holes in the mattress. Shit! What do you expect for $25 per night? Certainly not the amenities that the Waldorf Astoria, Hilton, or Plaza offer. Nope. You get what you pay for. Besides, the people there are probably more colorful. No matter what dive I choose, I am sure that it will be an adventure. Oh yeah... ~ Arachne ~ 3/5/07 ~ Penned prior to 3:00 p.m.
Was listening to 99.9 The Buzz ~ Burlington, VT
* No wonder I never used to smile. Actually, smiling and laughter are something new and delightful to me.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Was listening to 99.9 THE BUZZ ~ Burlington, VT
Sadie, Rats, and Motels
Despite all the crap that I have lived through, I am thankful for every moment of it as it made me who and what I am. Had life been easy and viewed through rose colored glasses, I may have turned out different. Gee, I could have been a pansy posy...blind to reality and unaware of back doors, side entrances, and the sneak approach.
Being a lowlife had its benefits and downfalls, yet if I had to do it all over gain, I wouldn't change a thing. Hell was okay and thought me well.
To be honest, it felt good to go live with Sadie as an adult and to face her head on as I could protect myself. However, that old bat carried a loaded Saturday Night Special in her purse. She showed me on a few occasions and I would assume that was her way of intimidating me. Guess what? It didn't work. Actually, while I was in South Carolina, her friend shot and killed a man. Sure I chose to live with my abuser rather than stay with my mom as that was the more logical choice.
Much of what I could deal with most people would skeeve. How many women could kill rats without a real weapon? I used to smother them in the glue rat traps. Hence the name Rat Girl is appropriate.
The last critter that I killed was about as big as my cat. A loud screech came from my bedroom which I thought was the cat clawing the window. When I got up to go check out my room, out ran this big black sewer rat with the cat not far behind it.
As rats like to run against the walls rather than out in the open, I had strategically placed the traps all over the place as I was infested. Unfortunately, Kat Kat did not kill the critter and she left the kitchen to go chill in the livingroom. Lazy cat. When I went to check the traps, there was nothing there the first few times. However, another check revealed that big bastard stuck in the trap trying to pull himself out of the glue. Kat Kat had poked out one of its beady black eyes and it did not look too happy. I took my broom and was trying to push it's head into the glue when the shit bit the broom handle and wouldn't let go. Holding the broom handle with the rat at the end, I grabbed the mop handle and tried to push its head under again...just the snout. You know? That little prick was not going down easy. I had to get another trap and drop it on top of this moving biting critter to make a rat trap sandwich out of him. I smothered and disposed of the bastard. RAT - 0...ME - 1. Got big sewer rats? Call Arachne. LOL
Of all the rats that I had to tangle with, only one got away and he left much of his fur behind.
WARNING: Do not try this at home unless you have big gonads as rats will attack you when cornered.
Bed bugs, roaches, water bugs, spiders, worms, and snakes don't bother me. Centipedes on the other hand do. I kill those suckers.
Today I was talking to my cousin and was telling her about the funny comments left about fleabag motels in Edmonton. I find it funny as I could deal with it. Hell the shitholes in Jersey that went for $25 per night were real dives and gross, but who cares. If the sheets are dirty you make them change them. Who cares about the paint on the walls, broken wall lights, dirty shower curtains, and holes in the mattress. Shit! What do you expect for $25 per night? Certainly not the amenities that the Waldorf Astoria, Hilton, or Plaza offer. Nope. You get what you pay for. Besides, the people there are probably more colorful. No matter what dive I choose, I am sure that it will be an adventure. Oh yeah... ~ Arachne ~ 3/5/07 ~ Penned prior to 3:00 p.m.
Was listening to 99.9 The Buzz ~ Burlington, VT
A Good Man
What do you do when you find a good man, you hang onto him by the nuts if you have to. If you have to use your teeth, then by all means do so. Most men are flakey to begin with and more so than a pastry chef's delight. Therefore, when a decent unflakey guy is found and he has heart, mind, soul, and keeps to his word, KEEP HIM. ~ Maggie ~ March 5, 2007 - Penned prior to 3:00 p.m.
P.S.: HE IS AMAZINGLY FANTASTIC and WOW in his thought processes!!! What a wonderful sharing and caring person! I can't wait for April 21 to arrive.
Was listening to 99.9 THE BUZZ - Burlington, VT
P.S.: HE IS AMAZINGLY FANTASTIC and WOW in his thought processes!!! What a wonderful sharing and caring person! I can't wait for April 21 to arrive.
Was listening to 99.9 THE BUZZ - Burlington, VT
Friday, March 2, 2007
FEAR???
There is a poem at the end of this spew.
Everyone experiences fear in one form or another, however, many won't face their fear head on and challenge it.
Fear provides a thrill and makes life exciting. To say that "I FEAR" to the point of inaction would leave one stagnant and limited. Therefore, can it be said that those who stare fear in the face actually fear what it is that they face? Perhaps avoidant behavior is more apt when approaching a fear. You know what I say? "FUCK FEAR!" Grab the bull by the horns and slam him the fuck down.
Don't walk on eggshells. Don't hold back. Free fall and enjoy the show. What is the worst case scenario? You'll die? Shit. You are going to die anyway so you might as well go out in a blaze of glory living life on your terms.
To hear voiced concerns from another that occupied head space was amazing. The exact same level of concerns were addressed. Talk about being in TUNE. Hum. I like it.
Hallowed by an uprising globe of red in blue skies
Cloudless and beautiful
The wind exhales and
Reeds, willows, and grass breathe
Breathing life into still art
Captured in pixels
Sitting glorified upon a throne
A god without a mass
Save for one who pays homage
One who see the beauty with in the shell
Shells of temporary capture
Temporal and aligned signatures
Hold tight electrical energy
That delightfully dance in the cosmos upon release
Release form the confines of one's structure
* Love has many levels, but me thinks the Eros type is the most false of the loves as it is LUST and not true LOVE. Tis quite shallow. Depth can be dived into. ~ Maggie ~ Penned 3/2/07 prior to 3:00 p.m.
WAS LISTENING TO 99.9 THE BUZZ...Vermont, USA
Everyone experiences fear in one form or another, however, many won't face their fear head on and challenge it.
Fear provides a thrill and makes life exciting. To say that "I FEAR" to the point of inaction would leave one stagnant and limited. Therefore, can it be said that those who stare fear in the face actually fear what it is that they face? Perhaps avoidant behavior is more apt when approaching a fear. You know what I say? "FUCK FEAR!" Grab the bull by the horns and slam him the fuck down.
Don't walk on eggshells. Don't hold back. Free fall and enjoy the show. What is the worst case scenario? You'll die? Shit. You are going to die anyway so you might as well go out in a blaze of glory living life on your terms.
To hear voiced concerns from another that occupied head space was amazing. The exact same level of concerns were addressed. Talk about being in TUNE. Hum. I like it.
Hallowed by an uprising globe of red in blue skies
Cloudless and beautiful
The wind exhales and
Reeds, willows, and grass breathe
Breathing life into still art
Captured in pixels
Sitting glorified upon a throne
A god without a mass
Save for one who pays homage
One who see the beauty with in the shell
Shells of temporary capture
Temporal and aligned signatures
Hold tight electrical energy
That delightfully dance in the cosmos upon release
Release form the confines of one's structure
* Love has many levels, but me thinks the Eros type is the most false of the loves as it is LUST and not true LOVE. Tis quite shallow. Depth can be dived into. ~ Maggie ~ Penned 3/2/07 prior to 3:00 p.m.
WAS LISTENING TO 99.9 THE BUZZ...Vermont, USA
Thursday, March 1, 2007
The Apartment Story: * a startling discovery
One day when bored, my daughter read my blog and this little story led her to discover her half brother. I am glad I hold details of certain types in my head. Only one close would know what I know and the facts cannot be refuted. We have pictures to boot. LOL *wink* Too bad I can't remember her younger sister's mother's last name. However, I do know where she lives. Hum...I forgot to mention that fact as the house she lived in was OWNED and not rented. She lived in Gravesend off Ave. X and her name was Joanne. Little sis is Andrea, however, she is older than my daughter's brother. He is the baby of the lot.
Okay, Drew beat the crap out of Erin and Joanne and used them. He punched me a few times and blackened my eye, however, I sliced him and beat the crap out of him. When I broke a bottle over his head publically, he didn't file charges. Maybe he liked it. Hell, he got his face punched and head banged into the wall in front of his friends and his ass kicked from the West Village to Rivington Street and he did SFA (sweet fuck all). Mind you, he was 6' 3" and had a record for armed robbery and attempted murder and served prison time at Fishkill Correctional Facility. NO FEAR here. Uh uh. Considering that I sold all his clothes, guitars, amps, cords, wha wha peddles, actually everything he owned, he still wanted me. Weird huh? Nah...MAXIMUM. Take no prisoners: take no shit. ~ Arachne ~ 3/12/07 11:21 p.m.
He was a Long Island guy who lived in a dive on the lower east side and I was a burnout from south Brooklyn who met while enjoying the entertainment that only Wendy O could provide. The Brooklyn Zoo was jam packed that night and you could loose yourself if you were not hanging on tight enough.
Pam (Horse Head) and I had gone to the show together, but somehow, and as usual, we lost each other in the crowd. Just hanging there with everyone else with my blue, pink, and black hair with green metallic high-top sneaks and some wild vest that had sooo many buttons bah!!! Anyway, there I am minding my own damn business when someone, who I could not see (too many people) grabbed my hand and led me through the crowd only to release me deeper within??? Again, minding my own business, someone in the crowd thinks I am a chicken and grabs my breast. I turned, but could not figure out who did it. This happened a few times and then I grabbed his hand and than slapped him. When that was done and peace was made, we moved out of the crowd to the sides and started talking. He was real drunk and threw up on me and himself. As I did not give a fuck back then as I don't give a fuck now, I dragged him into the ladies room to clean him up. The guy who dragged me through the crowd was Drew's friend. He was getting me for Drew. Weird huh? (HORSE HEAD was a name that Drew gave to Pam as he thought she was ugly.)
After the show, Pam, Drew, Drew's friend, and I all headed back to my apartment to hang and to sobber Drew up. I told him to shower and made some coffee. After taking off his clothes, he wrapped himself in a towel and came out of the bathroom and invited me to shower with him. Saying "no thanks" to the prospect, he finally showered and came to chill out with us. By this time it was the wee hours of the morning and he was starting to nod despite the coffee. Pam was going home with his friend and he did not want to go back to Manhattan, however, I did not want him at my place as I didn't know him. So I made him leave when they left. He slept in the train that night.
A couple of weeks later, Pam called to say that Drew's friend wanted my number to give to Drew and would I let her give it. I said "sure." When Drew called, he was real sweet and read me poetry and played his guitar and I wanted to see him again. We dated for a bit staying mostly in Manhattan, but his apartment was real bad. Real real bad. It used to kick when I would end up on the lower east side alone at 3:00 a.m. on my way home (his house) and these messed asses would say "hey meda (sp?) mommy!" from dark doorways. Right in spirit or nuts, I would tell them off saying something like "what do you all have the same mother?" Yeah, I have a mouth on me.
Realizing that keeping two apartments was crazy as we were both paying around $300 per month, he dumped his place and moved in with me. As a compromise was struck, he got rid of some of his stuff and I got rid of some of mine...duplicate things were discarded. Yet when that van dumped the final load (3 loads), wow what a mess we were in. There was no place to move around in. It felt like his stuff invaded my space and I was frustrated...he was frustrated. Believe it or not, it look a few weeks for us to settle. Things come and go, but memories of a loved one live on in eternity regardless of the relationship's ending. RIP Drew! My lucky 13 Scorpion! We both had studios apartments which means most of your living was done in one room...his bathing and bathroom were just about in his kitchen. Wait...his kitchen was in his living room which was his bedroom which was all in one room. HA HA HA Good old Manhattan 6 story walk-up. Why would they put glass shards sticking out of the cement on the exterior windowsill on the TWO windows in his place when it was six floor up? Ok, it would cut off or badly cut the fingers of someone trying to hang on from outside. Maybe that will explain the neighborhood. Hum.
The first song my daughter ever heard was by the Scorpions called In Trance. She was newborn (1 day old) with headphones on plugged into a Sony Walkman! Nix is Drew's kid.
Gee, I even had the ballz to call Erin to tell her: It's a girl. Ah, the bitch bought Nix something before her birth and we buddied up years before. Besides, I can relate to ex-gal pals real good. Oh yeah, Erin's son is my daughter's younger brother.
Side note: Erin was Drew's social worker when he was in UNDER 21. Her daddy was a hot shot NYC lawyer with a penthouse on Park Avenue, yet she lived in the slum. Gotta give her credit for that one.
She (Erin) is a story unto herself. *smirk* ~ Arachne ~ March 1, 2007 @ 9:36 p.m.
WE BE ROCKIN~
Okay, Drew beat the crap out of Erin and Joanne and used them. He punched me a few times and blackened my eye, however, I sliced him and beat the crap out of him. When I broke a bottle over his head publically, he didn't file charges. Maybe he liked it. Hell, he got his face punched and head banged into the wall in front of his friends and his ass kicked from the West Village to Rivington Street and he did SFA (sweet fuck all). Mind you, he was 6' 3" and had a record for armed robbery and attempted murder and served prison time at Fishkill Correctional Facility. NO FEAR here. Uh uh. Considering that I sold all his clothes, guitars, amps, cords, wha wha peddles, actually everything he owned, he still wanted me. Weird huh? Nah...MAXIMUM. Take no prisoners: take no shit. ~ Arachne ~ 3/12/07 11:21 p.m.
He was a Long Island guy who lived in a dive on the lower east side and I was a burnout from south Brooklyn who met while enjoying the entertainment that only Wendy O could provide. The Brooklyn Zoo was jam packed that night and you could loose yourself if you were not hanging on tight enough.
Pam (Horse Head) and I had gone to the show together, but somehow, and as usual, we lost each other in the crowd. Just hanging there with everyone else with my blue, pink, and black hair with green metallic high-top sneaks and some wild vest that had sooo many buttons bah!!! Anyway, there I am minding my own damn business when someone, who I could not see (too many people) grabbed my hand and led me through the crowd only to release me deeper within??? Again, minding my own business, someone in the crowd thinks I am a chicken and grabs my breast. I turned, but could not figure out who did it. This happened a few times and then I grabbed his hand and than slapped him. When that was done and peace was made, we moved out of the crowd to the sides and started talking. He was real drunk and threw up on me and himself. As I did not give a fuck back then as I don't give a fuck now, I dragged him into the ladies room to clean him up. The guy who dragged me through the crowd was Drew's friend. He was getting me for Drew. Weird huh? (HORSE HEAD was a name that Drew gave to Pam as he thought she was ugly.)
After the show, Pam, Drew, Drew's friend, and I all headed back to my apartment to hang and to sobber Drew up. I told him to shower and made some coffee. After taking off his clothes, he wrapped himself in a towel and came out of the bathroom and invited me to shower with him. Saying "no thanks" to the prospect, he finally showered and came to chill out with us. By this time it was the wee hours of the morning and he was starting to nod despite the coffee. Pam was going home with his friend and he did not want to go back to Manhattan, however, I did not want him at my place as I didn't know him. So I made him leave when they left. He slept in the train that night.
A couple of weeks later, Pam called to say that Drew's friend wanted my number to give to Drew and would I let her give it. I said "sure." When Drew called, he was real sweet and read me poetry and played his guitar and I wanted to see him again. We dated for a bit staying mostly in Manhattan, but his apartment was real bad. Real real bad. It used to kick when I would end up on the lower east side alone at 3:00 a.m. on my way home (his house) and these messed asses would say "hey meda (sp?) mommy!" from dark doorways. Right in spirit or nuts, I would tell them off saying something like "what do you all have the same mother?" Yeah, I have a mouth on me.
Realizing that keeping two apartments was crazy as we were both paying around $300 per month, he dumped his place and moved in with me. As a compromise was struck, he got rid of some of his stuff and I got rid of some of mine...duplicate things were discarded. Yet when that van dumped the final load (3 loads), wow what a mess we were in. There was no place to move around in. It felt like his stuff invaded my space and I was frustrated...he was frustrated. Believe it or not, it look a few weeks for us to settle. Things come and go, but memories of a loved one live on in eternity regardless of the relationship's ending. RIP Drew! My lucky 13 Scorpion! We both had studios apartments which means most of your living was done in one room...his bathing and bathroom were just about in his kitchen. Wait...his kitchen was in his living room which was his bedroom which was all in one room. HA HA HA Good old Manhattan 6 story walk-up. Why would they put glass shards sticking out of the cement on the exterior windowsill on the TWO windows in his place when it was six floor up? Ok, it would cut off or badly cut the fingers of someone trying to hang on from outside. Maybe that will explain the neighborhood. Hum.
The first song my daughter ever heard was by the Scorpions called In Trance. She was newborn (1 day old) with headphones on plugged into a Sony Walkman! Nix is Drew's kid.
Gee, I even had the ballz to call Erin to tell her: It's a girl. Ah, the bitch bought Nix something before her birth and we buddied up years before. Besides, I can relate to ex-gal pals real good. Oh yeah, Erin's son is my daughter's younger brother.
Side note: Erin was Drew's social worker when he was in UNDER 21. Her daddy was a hot shot NYC lawyer with a penthouse on Park Avenue, yet she lived in the slum. Gotta give her credit for that one.
She (Erin) is a story unto herself. *smirk* ~ Arachne ~ March 1, 2007 @ 9:36 p.m.
WE BE ROCKIN~
Thoughts...
Wow, it feels good to just say what I think to someone and not have them bite my head off or think that I am nuts. Then again, I say what I think to everyone regardless of the outcome. When a certain someone is real cool it makes the saying all that much better. Knowing that they feel the same kind of insecurities is fine as that is what makes us human. We differ at many levels, yet we are so much the same.
If you haven't walked a mile in a person's shoes, put yourself there and contemplate your next move.
Life is ducky! OH YEAH... I HAVE HIGH SPEED FINALLY SO I CAN SEE AND HEAR CLIPS IN LESS THAN THREE DAYS. WEE HA!!! ~ Maggie 3/1/07 @ 8:43 p.m.
Listening to song "AGENDA."
If you haven't walked a mile in a person's shoes, put yourself there and contemplate your next move.
Life is ducky! OH YEAH... I HAVE HIGH SPEED FINALLY SO I CAN SEE AND HEAR CLIPS IN LESS THAN THREE DAYS. WEE HA!!! ~ Maggie 3/1/07 @ 8:43 p.m.
Listening to song "AGENDA."
Friday, February 23, 2007
Come out and play:
Looking ever so sweet in his jeans and converse sneaks, he jumps off the cannon and heads towards me. I take his hand and we hand out into the setting sun to go on an adventure that will lead us to strange and new places that only our imagination can take us. With the innocence of children, we laugh and joke and enjoy the moment for what the moment brings is magickal and thus never ending.
The world is our playground and like two children we take full advantage of it. He is the king and I am the queen. Although not of royal blood, we have ascended the monkey bars and thus we run the grounds as far as our eyes can see. The hobby horses are not only our court, but also our steeds which on which we gallop the grounds. Granted the coil that holds them in place keep us in place as well, however, only those who would lay eyes on us would see that. Actually, we are like the children who jump through the chalk drawing in Mary Poppins. We may not have carousel horses, but ours are just as grand if not more so.
He has a surprise for me at a special park. There in the middle lies a giant spider web made of cable and oh so craftily suspended. Not even the great weaver Arachne herself could weave such a design to withstand our weighted passions. As this is my surprise from him, I too must give him a surprise. Being the good little spider that I am, I head to the center of the web and beckon him to join me. The playful child quickly begins to lose her childlike innocence and turns to woman and then from woman to "the black widow." Her invite to be joined does not go unnoticed by the boy who turns to man who then turns to mate and who heads toward me.
Although he enters the web with anticipation, I too have my own towards him. Under the full moon we are many shades of gray and yet our true colors show through. I entwine myself within the web rather than entwine him and wait for him to prey upon me. This widow shall not kill her mate, however, she will allow him to devour her.
Written to and inspired a whole hell of a lot by "Nathan" who feeds my imagination loving spoonfuls!!! ~ Arachne ~ 2/23/07 @ ?
The world is our playground and like two children we take full advantage of it. He is the king and I am the queen. Although not of royal blood, we have ascended the monkey bars and thus we run the grounds as far as our eyes can see. The hobby horses are not only our court, but also our steeds which on which we gallop the grounds. Granted the coil that holds them in place keep us in place as well, however, only those who would lay eyes on us would see that. Actually, we are like the children who jump through the chalk drawing in Mary Poppins. We may not have carousel horses, but ours are just as grand if not more so.
He has a surprise for me at a special park. There in the middle lies a giant spider web made of cable and oh so craftily suspended. Not even the great weaver Arachne herself could weave such a design to withstand our weighted passions. As this is my surprise from him, I too must give him a surprise. Being the good little spider that I am, I head to the center of the web and beckon him to join me. The playful child quickly begins to lose her childlike innocence and turns to woman and then from woman to "the black widow." Her invite to be joined does not go unnoticed by the boy who turns to man who then turns to mate and who heads toward me.
Although he enters the web with anticipation, I too have my own towards him. Under the full moon we are many shades of gray and yet our true colors show through. I entwine myself within the web rather than entwine him and wait for him to prey upon me. This widow shall not kill her mate, however, she will allow him to devour her.
Written to and inspired a whole hell of a lot by "Nathan" who feeds my imagination loving spoonfuls!!! ~ Arachne ~ 2/23/07 @ ?
Mutual Words & Feelings
He once assumed love and last night it was confirmed. Actually, it felt good to say it and hear it back. However, the better part of that equation is that it is FELT by two and NEVER had to be SAID: he felt it and I felt it. Yeah, it does "[feel] warm inside." The theory that actions speak louder than words is very accurate, special, and rare.
Last night we confirmed "boyfriend" & "girlfriend" status. Don't anyone laugh or I'll kill you. It is what it is and hell if it feels good between two people, it does not matter what others think. We are very alike in that area as we like being different. Man, last night was WONDERFUL for both of us.
Note: While you guys celebrated VD, we celebrated "our" day. The difference is that "our" day occurs EVERYDAY which is very unlike Valentine's Day.
Does anyone know what it is like to share everything from the serious (life, world events, love, and politics) to the insane (cow tipping and boogers) with total acceptance?
One hundred percent honest and wonderful is what he is and I can be me and he can be him. Sure not everything is perfect, yet this so seems close. Again, regardless of the outcome, love can exist between us as that is how we are.
He brought up a good question the other day: "What happens if you miss your flight home?" Yikes, but that is cool and something I can live with. ~ 2/23/07 @ 5:51 a.m.
I have to repost this about him as this is what he is.
Someone Sweet
Sweet gentle prince of men
Grant a touch of thy finger to my tea
That thine essence pure may be transferred
Stir about it gingerly
Nay, thou shares nothing bittersweet or pseudo
As the taste plays happily and lingers on my buds and in my mind
Ne'er changing its nature
Proof in the pudding is proof in the pie
Cake or crust dost crumble
Yet thou hold solid and true
Undeniably, thou art pure to form
Thou art akin to the sweetness of cane and comb ~ Maggie 1/13/07 @ 8:35 p.m.
A Poem
Fair angel who hast not been touched by religion
O cherub winged and glorious
Thy beauty hosts from within and without
To concur forming one
One radiant beam of light that casts out
Darkness in the most inaccessible recesses
Making brilliant that which was dull
Exploring that which had yet to be explored
Accepting that which most would put asunder
Being god angel and man child in one
O mighty splendor let me cast an eye to thee
Caricature mine eye to that of a globe
My pupil dilates and is regulated by what is shown
Maximizing in the dark for greater range and
Minimizing in the light
Expand upon me what you will
However, grant me audience so to capture as did Raphael ~ Maggie 1/13/07 @ 10:45 p.m.
Nathan:
His voice is like willows is in the wind
His spirit is childlike and wonderfully imaginative
His kindness and thoughtfulness brings a tear of joy
His respect is something that I value as it is priceless
His sharing and caring ways are unlimited
His body is artfully crafted and there is room for imagination
His rage and frustration is humorous yet a turn on
His eyes see what others do not as
His mind is open and endless
He is sweeter than the sweetest candy
The beauty of this is that I can see him in the park with me! He is Apollo and he is a god in his own right!
Hail! The sun is shining! ~ Maggie 12/15/06
He once assumed love and last night it was confirmed. Actually, it felt good to say it and hear it back. However, the better part of that equation is that it is FELT by two and NEVER had to be SAID: he felt it and I felt it. Yeah, it does "[feel] warm inside." The theory that actions speak louder than words is very accurate, special, and rare.
Last night we confirmed "boyfriend" & "girlfriend" status. Don't anyone laugh or I'll kill you. It is what it is and hell if it feels good between two people, it does not matter what others think. We are very alike in that area as we like being different. Man, last night was WONDERFUL for both of us.
Note: While you guys celebrated VD, we celebrated "our" day. The difference is that "our" day occurs EVERYDAY which is very unlike Valentine's Day.
Does anyone know what it is like to share everything from the serious (life, world events, love, and politics) to the insane (cow tipping and boogers) with total acceptance?
One hundred percent honest and wonderful is what he is and I can be me and he can be him. Sure not everything is perfect, yet this so seems close. Again, regardless of the outcome, love can exist between us as that is how we are.
He brought up a good question the other day: "What happens if you miss your flight home?" Yikes, but that is cool and something I can live with. ~ 2/23/07 @ 5:51 a.m.
I have to repost this about him as this is what he is.
Someone Sweet
Sweet gentle prince of men
Grant a touch of thy finger to my tea
That thine essence pure may be transferred
Stir about it gingerly
Nay, thou shares nothing bittersweet or pseudo
As the taste plays happily and lingers on my buds and in my mind
Ne'er changing its nature
Proof in the pudding is proof in the pie
Cake or crust dost crumble
Yet thou hold solid and true
Undeniably, thou art pure to form
Thou art akin to the sweetness of cane and comb ~ Maggie 1/13/07 @ 8:35 p.m.
A Poem
Fair angel who hast not been touched by religion
O cherub winged and glorious
Thy beauty hosts from within and without
To concur forming one
One radiant beam of light that casts out
Darkness in the most inaccessible recesses
Making brilliant that which was dull
Exploring that which had yet to be explored
Accepting that which most would put asunder
Being god angel and man child in one
O mighty splendor let me cast an eye to thee
Caricature mine eye to that of a globe
My pupil dilates and is regulated by what is shown
Maximizing in the dark for greater range and
Minimizing in the light
Expand upon me what you will
However, grant me audience so to capture as did Raphael ~ Maggie 1/13/07 @ 10:45 p.m.
Nathan:
His voice is like willows is in the wind
His spirit is childlike and wonderfully imaginative
His kindness and thoughtfulness brings a tear of joy
His respect is something that I value as it is priceless
His sharing and caring ways are unlimited
His body is artfully crafted and there is room for imagination
His rage and frustration is humorous yet a turn on
His eyes see what others do not as
His mind is open and endless
He is sweeter than the sweetest candy
The beauty of this is that I can see him in the park with me! He is Apollo and he is a god in his own right!
Hail! The sun is shining! ~ Maggie 12/15/06
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Missed
A smile dances across my face
Thinking thoughts of someone special
The feeling is warm and comfortable
Although not a bard per se
What writes are written
Strike chords and there is
Harmony!
Eager ears wait upon vocalization of events
Questions arise and questions will be answered
A vocal and auditory dance of emitting and receiving
Sharing and sparing nothing
Sweet innocence missed
Brought upon by departure
Only to return again
Yes! Return again
The allowance of true self
Escapes judgment thus far...
This beauty leaves many doors ajar
Rather than closed and impenetrable
The light is shining and someone is home ~ Arachne ~ penned on 2/22/07 @ 1:30 p.m.
Written to and for Nathan!
** Sweet, beautiful, and wonderful words were exchanged this eve and it makes my heart glow.
Thinking thoughts of someone special
The feeling is warm and comfortable
Although not a bard per se
What writes are written
Strike chords and there is
Harmony!
Eager ears wait upon vocalization of events
Questions arise and questions will be answered
A vocal and auditory dance of emitting and receiving
Sharing and sparing nothing
Sweet innocence missed
Brought upon by departure
Only to return again
Yes! Return again
The allowance of true self
Escapes judgment thus far...
This beauty leaves many doors ajar
Rather than closed and impenetrable
The light is shining and someone is home ~ Arachne ~ penned on 2/22/07 @ 1:30 p.m.
Written to and for Nathan!
** Sweet, beautiful, and wonderful words were exchanged this eve and it makes my heart glow.
Friday, February 16, 2007
A Present For Me by Bob P. - A Sexual Response...
This was written by my friend Bob who I met while at work. After reading my "Fantasy Piercing" blog, he wrote this complimentary piece which is posted with his approval. Bob is a wonderful writer and it is hoped that he writes a novel in the not too distant future. Let me know what you think of his work as I would like to pass it onto him. Thank you.
NOTE: He also has a script in progress that is really kick ass. Maybe he will let me share it. I have to ask. ~ Arachne
A present for Arachne:
The glow of the one candle lit caught her breath in the cool room, she knelt there on the hard wood floor, the weight of her body resting painfully on her knees as he had instructed and she promised.
She knelt there waiting, her mind racing, heart pounding, the sweet scented vapors emanated from her wet flesh as the winter air rushed in softly from the partially opened window.
I can hardly remember what his face looks like, risks, yes risk, this is exciting, I want this, she whispered to herself. I unlock the door… the night air circled her in the dark , raising the texture of her skin ,aching nipples and the warm stream between her thighs.
Will he know what to do, will he feel what I want…half hour pasted quickly as she knelt there aware of her need to be touched tasted, obedient.
A deep primordial ball rushed from her stomach exploding in her head as she heard the door open.
Vulnerable aching and hunger cried out as she could here his foot steps approaching the center of the room. The cool stillness intensified as they could hear each other breathing.
Re assured by the gentle brush of his warm face against hers without a kiss and over other exposed parts of her cool and aching body made her realize that she could relax and focus on being obedient.
Firmly but as an accomplice to this love making he slipped the belt around her throat, turned the buckle to the back of her soft neck, down around the separated ankles, noticing the juices beneath her, he watched the spiders dancing with her every breath.
He lifted himself as he now stood over her swollen open lips and leaned forward. Brushing his hot , hard cock beneath his jeans against her lips she responded by biting him anticipating the taste of this hard warm member parting her lips and down her throat temporarily cutting off the opening to the air.
Turning away he just watched her for a short while pulling down his zipper exposing his cock to her. He picked up the candle and walked behind her as he slipped a blind fold over her eyes to intensify the awareness and total beauty of it all.
He traveled the heat of the candle teasing her ass, back, nipples thighs, she painfully arched backwards as she wanted for him to stroke her trunk also with the warm heat, slowly without warning grab her hair tightly as he moved his cock between her lips and down her throat pulling out only to rub it around her face, eyes and…
She could only feel the now of the incredible beauty of it all, he moved as though he could read her mind he loved the pain from her teeth running down his cock nipping the end.
Moving her on her face and from behind he licked the juices from her, he moved his hands under her pinching her nipples as she responded with approval. His tongue traveled from her clitoris to her anus sweet and also swollen with need, she whimpered as she surrendered to his every need and hers.
They both new that the challenge to each other was inevitable, the risk, the putting each other out there was to be for each their own self. Strong each other on there own the surrender to the crossing of paths was meant to be in a moment and in the now.
The smell of each others juices excited him as he woke in the early morning, he slid down under her body to suck the juices that tasted so sweet, she struggled and they wrestled between each other until he overtook her and rammed his hard cock penetrating her for the gift of fighting for what you want and the way her eyes lit up. ~ Written by Bob P. 2/16/07
NOTE: He also has a script in progress that is really kick ass. Maybe he will let me share it. I have to ask. ~ Arachne
A present for Arachne:
The glow of the one candle lit caught her breath in the cool room, she knelt there on the hard wood floor, the weight of her body resting painfully on her knees as he had instructed and she promised.
She knelt there waiting, her mind racing, heart pounding, the sweet scented vapors emanated from her wet flesh as the winter air rushed in softly from the partially opened window.
I can hardly remember what his face looks like, risks, yes risk, this is exciting, I want this, she whispered to herself. I unlock the door… the night air circled her in the dark , raising the texture of her skin ,aching nipples and the warm stream between her thighs.
Will he know what to do, will he feel what I want…half hour pasted quickly as she knelt there aware of her need to be touched tasted, obedient.
A deep primordial ball rushed from her stomach exploding in her head as she heard the door open.
Vulnerable aching and hunger cried out as she could here his foot steps approaching the center of the room. The cool stillness intensified as they could hear each other breathing.
Re assured by the gentle brush of his warm face against hers without a kiss and over other exposed parts of her cool and aching body made her realize that she could relax and focus on being obedient.
Firmly but as an accomplice to this love making he slipped the belt around her throat, turned the buckle to the back of her soft neck, down around the separated ankles, noticing the juices beneath her, he watched the spiders dancing with her every breath.
He lifted himself as he now stood over her swollen open lips and leaned forward. Brushing his hot , hard cock beneath his jeans against her lips she responded by biting him anticipating the taste of this hard warm member parting her lips and down her throat temporarily cutting off the opening to the air.
Turning away he just watched her for a short while pulling down his zipper exposing his cock to her. He picked up the candle and walked behind her as he slipped a blind fold over her eyes to intensify the awareness and total beauty of it all.
He traveled the heat of the candle teasing her ass, back, nipples thighs, she painfully arched backwards as she wanted for him to stroke her trunk also with the warm heat, slowly without warning grab her hair tightly as he moved his cock between her lips and down her throat pulling out only to rub it around her face, eyes and…
She could only feel the now of the incredible beauty of it all, he moved as though he could read her mind he loved the pain from her teeth running down his cock nipping the end.
Moving her on her face and from behind he licked the juices from her, he moved his hands under her pinching her nipples as she responded with approval. His tongue traveled from her clitoris to her anus sweet and also swollen with need, she whimpered as she surrendered to his every need and hers.
They both new that the challenge to each other was inevitable, the risk, the putting each other out there was to be for each their own self. Strong each other on there own the surrender to the crossing of paths was meant to be in a moment and in the now.
The smell of each others juices excited him as he woke in the early morning, he slid down under her body to suck the juices that tasted so sweet, she struggled and they wrestled between each other until he overtook her and rammed his hard cock penetrating her for the gift of fighting for what you want and the way her eyes lit up. ~ Written by Bob P. 2/16/07
Turn Me On:
The wall plate is the only thing that mounts me and it is brass and reflective. I am lit so that I can be seen in the darkness of an unlit room. Some of my type are dimmers and adjustments can be made based on mood. However, my positions are only on/off. Off is where I sit now. Casting my glow in hope of recognition, my wires are receiving current from within and I am ALIVE. A flip of the switch will illuminate YOU!!! TURN ME ON ALREADY!!! ~ Maggie ~ 2/16/07 penned prior to 3:00 p.m.
Brian Deserves a Write Up...
*I met Brian today.
This awesome dude of about 6' 3" or more is a rig rider who knows how to avoid the scales. Brian is a real cool person who is not sitting around in the darkness. He is a toughie with scars and bullet holes, but no tatts. A writer and anti-authority figure, he makes for interesting and lively conversation. While his rig waited along side the road, he risked being ticketed for hanging out (almost an hour). I guess that is the rebel in him.
He has a nice background as he knows how to get out of a federal pickle thereby avoiding prison. When brutalized by cops, he fought back. Who the hell needs police brutality. In telling the story, he did state that he did want to kill that cop...those words slipped out unintentionally and he put his head down. The cop was out of work for 2 years due to the severity of his beating.
Wild things grow in his place in Toronto, but he can't have the lights necessary for the orange tree to fruit. The water he drinks is not bought as he goes and gets it himself at a spring. Cool huh? So what that he colors out of the lines. That is the best way to live!
What initially struck me about this guy is that he looked like my cousin Mikey, but taller. Although Canadian, his ancestors were confederates in Louisiana. Rebellion goes way back with this dude. Ancestors refused allegiance to Brittan and Canada. Acadia/Rebel - NO ALLEGIANCE! Yeah good!!!
Whoops, I forgot to mention, he is not allowed into the United States.
It is hoped that he pops into the store again with more tales. I think he will be back. ~ Maggie ~ 2/16/07 ~ penned prior to 3:00 p.m.
This awesome dude of about 6' 3" or more is a rig rider who knows how to avoid the scales. Brian is a real cool person who is not sitting around in the darkness. He is a toughie with scars and bullet holes, but no tatts. A writer and anti-authority figure, he makes for interesting and lively conversation. While his rig waited along side the road, he risked being ticketed for hanging out (almost an hour). I guess that is the rebel in him.
He has a nice background as he knows how to get out of a federal pickle thereby avoiding prison. When brutalized by cops, he fought back. Who the hell needs police brutality. In telling the story, he did state that he did want to kill that cop...those words slipped out unintentionally and he put his head down. The cop was out of work for 2 years due to the severity of his beating.
Wild things grow in his place in Toronto, but he can't have the lights necessary for the orange tree to fruit. The water he drinks is not bought as he goes and gets it himself at a spring. Cool huh? So what that he colors out of the lines. That is the best way to live!
What initially struck me about this guy is that he looked like my cousin Mikey, but taller. Although Canadian, his ancestors were confederates in Louisiana. Rebellion goes way back with this dude. Ancestors refused allegiance to Brittan and Canada. Acadia/Rebel - NO ALLEGIANCE! Yeah good!!!
Whoops, I forgot to mention, he is not allowed into the United States.
It is hoped that he pops into the store again with more tales. I think he will be back. ~ Maggie ~ 2/16/07 ~ penned prior to 3:00 p.m.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Thoughts on sex...
Yeah I have my sexual proclivities. I can say that I bend for the most part, but I won't break...no can do. Sex is not everything, BUT...once fed, I am like Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors screaming "FEED ME!" Hell yeah I will DEMAND, EXPECT and TAKE if need be. It is best that bridge suspension cables be handy to hold me back. Then again, I like that!!! Spank me already!
Buttons...
Aren't buttons made to be pushed? Hell yeah! Sit anyone down in a room with a big red button that has a sign "don't push" on it. In solitude, that person can be whom they are and as no one is watching, or so they think, they will push that button just to see what happens. A person is like a big red button full of what would happen if... Each push triggers a response that is either negative or positive. The only way to find out the result is to push their buttons and see what happens. When a negative response is had, the experimenter has to figure out how to develop a positive response. A person is not like a real button that can only be pushed in. Thus new twists can be developed to get the desired result. Call it conditioning if you would like.
Playing the game...
It is best to mirror your opponent until you and your opponent become a team. What I have learned is that if you show too many of your cards while still at the table, you could lose the hand. If the person across from you dons a poker face, do the same. Then again, if a hand is offered, offer out your own to show equality. It is okay to make the first move and to watch for reciprocation. That in itself is a button. Give what you get and get what you give...but don't expect it. It is best to keep all internal mechanisms well oiled and in neutral. At some point you will know to either throw the shift in drive or to reverse and nail it.
More about the buttons...
Stress tests determine how much **pressure needs to be applied before a snap occurs. First you have to figure out what type of pressure is needed and when to apply it. The rules are that there are no rules. A snap does not have to be a bad thing unless that is the result that you want.
** Pressure does not mean putting someone under the gun with ultimatums. That is boring (sing that word). Pressure is a creative gesture used to elicit a response. As people are not dogs, you cannot use food to create the type of salivation that I look to elicit. Also, once a dog is fed and full, you will not get the result you want. Therefore, using various and creative stimulus, you set up to produce the variable response which also has a solid end result. At least that is what you shoot for. The intent is not to OFFICIALLY condition the subject as the response will not be spontaneous, but more at expected. Thus maintaining creativity using various applications, a "snap" should be produced.
Multi-dimensional peculiar individuals like myself make for wonderful test subjects as "out of the box" is far more interesting to work with. Trying to work with "in the box" FEAR or DENIAL subjects is like asking the blind to see. Without sight, much is closed and thus limited.
Granted, I have my own quirks and "NO Nos" within myself, however, under the right circumstances, NO can be YES or at least MAYBE thereby leaving the possibility open.
I keep trying to recall the term used when two people come together and do something that neither would do alone. When done is groups there is diminished guilt due to diminished self-awareness. Two people make a conscious decision to act in unison with equal responsibility. Both as individuals may think a thought yet not act on it. It is like the idea needs confirmation and acceptance from another individual who helps to catapult the idea into reality. I want to catapult and be catapulted. Just think of the adventure of it all!
I noticed that I am outwardly in denial of certain aspects of my own being, but inside I realize what is going on. It would seem that (again under the right circumstances) what lies within can be pulled out or catapulted by a conductor/semiconductor into reality with a sociopathic attitude. I like that idea. ~ Arachne ~ 2/15/07 @ 6:29 PM
Buttons...
Aren't buttons made to be pushed? Hell yeah! Sit anyone down in a room with a big red button that has a sign "don't push" on it. In solitude, that person can be whom they are and as no one is watching, or so they think, they will push that button just to see what happens. A person is like a big red button full of what would happen if... Each push triggers a response that is either negative or positive. The only way to find out the result is to push their buttons and see what happens. When a negative response is had, the experimenter has to figure out how to develop a positive response. A person is not like a real button that can only be pushed in. Thus new twists can be developed to get the desired result. Call it conditioning if you would like.
Playing the game...
It is best to mirror your opponent until you and your opponent become a team. What I have learned is that if you show too many of your cards while still at the table, you could lose the hand. If the person across from you dons a poker face, do the same. Then again, if a hand is offered, offer out your own to show equality. It is okay to make the first move and to watch for reciprocation. That in itself is a button. Give what you get and get what you give...but don't expect it. It is best to keep all internal mechanisms well oiled and in neutral. At some point you will know to either throw the shift in drive or to reverse and nail it.
More about the buttons...
Stress tests determine how much **pressure needs to be applied before a snap occurs. First you have to figure out what type of pressure is needed and when to apply it. The rules are that there are no rules. A snap does not have to be a bad thing unless that is the result that you want.
** Pressure does not mean putting someone under the gun with ultimatums. That is boring (sing that word). Pressure is a creative gesture used to elicit a response. As people are not dogs, you cannot use food to create the type of salivation that I look to elicit. Also, once a dog is fed and full, you will not get the result you want. Therefore, using various and creative stimulus, you set up to produce the variable response which also has a solid end result. At least that is what you shoot for. The intent is not to OFFICIALLY condition the subject as the response will not be spontaneous, but more at expected. Thus maintaining creativity using various applications, a "snap" should be produced.
Multi-dimensional peculiar individuals like myself make for wonderful test subjects as "out of the box" is far more interesting to work with. Trying to work with "in the box" FEAR or DENIAL subjects is like asking the blind to see. Without sight, much is closed and thus limited.
Granted, I have my own quirks and "NO Nos" within myself, however, under the right circumstances, NO can be YES or at least MAYBE thereby leaving the possibility open.
I keep trying to recall the term used when two people come together and do something that neither would do alone. When done is groups there is diminished guilt due to diminished self-awareness. Two people make a conscious decision to act in unison with equal responsibility. Both as individuals may think a thought yet not act on it. It is like the idea needs confirmation and acceptance from another individual who helps to catapult the idea into reality. I want to catapult and be catapulted. Just think of the adventure of it all!
I noticed that I am outwardly in denial of certain aspects of my own being, but inside I realize what is going on. It would seem that (again under the right circumstances) what lies within can be pulled out or catapulted by a conductor/semiconductor into reality with a sociopathic attitude. I like that idea. ~ Arachne ~ 2/15/07 @ 6:29 PM
Thoughts for the day...
I am looking forward to my trip to Calgary on April 21 as it will be an eyeopener regardless of the outcome. Granted there are no expectations on either of our parts, however, "I" have hopes. The great thing about hope is that it is not absolute, but rather wonderfully abstract. There are no thoughts of "it is going to be this way" or "it is going to be that way." It is just going to be what it is without pretense.
It is not like I have to hide the fact that I am seeking a partner/mate and he knows that. The Widow is hungry and wants din din in the worst way yet this should not be confused with desperate as not just anyone will fit the bill. There has to be something there to cause an attraction. BTW, looks are NOT the main attraction. The mind has to be captured first. If looks are there and the prey is sexy, then that is a bonus. More important is the ability to share time, ideas, humor, wit, consciousness, care, honesty, et al.
NOTE: He is very sexy! Hubba hubba and yikes! ~ Arachne ~ 2/15/07 @ 6:25 PM
It is not like I have to hide the fact that I am seeking a partner/mate and he knows that. The Widow is hungry and wants din din in the worst way yet this should not be confused with desperate as not just anyone will fit the bill. There has to be something there to cause an attraction. BTW, looks are NOT the main attraction. The mind has to be captured first. If looks are there and the prey is sexy, then that is a bonus. More important is the ability to share time, ideas, humor, wit, consciousness, care, honesty, et al.
NOTE: He is very sexy! Hubba hubba and yikes! ~ Arachne ~ 2/15/07 @ 6:25 PM
OUR DAY
Most people celebrated Valentine's Day yesterday. However, I and someone special celebrated "our day." It was us just being us. The great thing about "our day" which is unlike Valentine's day is that it can be celebrated 365 days a year and does NOT require an exchange of traditional gifts or any type of monetary outlay. Actually, it is a very simple concept that can make you feel good. It is the art of making someone feel special by thinking about them, calling them, or writing them. It is about letting someone know you care!
Hell, we exchanged "our's:" Will you be my our? Yeah! Will you be my our? Yeah! Okay, that may sound stupid to you guys, but so what.
Was anyone out here under pressure to BUY a gift for VD? Don't you notice that with all these commercialized/capitalistic/religious holidays you have to spend $$$ to fit in? Where is the fun of giving in that situation? Where is the spontaneity? Pish!!!
To give of self or to give a gift because you feel like it is better than some retarded holiday that builds expectations and letdowns. Mind you, a gift does NOT have to be store bought. Value is twisted in today's society. A gift can be a call, song, letter, poem, kiss, hug, or romp in the park on the spur of the moment just so you could be with that person. It could also be a picture, drawing, or painting that the individual created for you. Then again it could be something as wonderfully personal as a lock of hair.
"Our Day" is a day(s) filled with thoughts of an individual. Now that is something to celebrate. Oh, guess what? "Our Day" is not limited to the opposite sex and NO you don't have to be gay to care about a same sex individual so get over it. ~ Arachne ~ 2/15/07 @ 6:23 PM
Hell, we exchanged "our's:" Will you be my our? Yeah! Will you be my our? Yeah! Okay, that may sound stupid to you guys, but so what.
Was anyone out here under pressure to BUY a gift for VD? Don't you notice that with all these commercialized/capitalistic/religious holidays you have to spend $$$ to fit in? Where is the fun of giving in that situation? Where is the spontaneity? Pish!!!
To give of self or to give a gift because you feel like it is better than some retarded holiday that builds expectations and letdowns. Mind you, a gift does NOT have to be store bought. Value is twisted in today's society. A gift can be a call, song, letter, poem, kiss, hug, or romp in the park on the spur of the moment just so you could be with that person. It could also be a picture, drawing, or painting that the individual created for you. Then again it could be something as wonderfully personal as a lock of hair.
"Our Day" is a day(s) filled with thoughts of an individual. Now that is something to celebrate. Oh, guess what? "Our Day" is not limited to the opposite sex and NO you don't have to be gay to care about a same sex individual so get over it. ~ Arachne ~ 2/15/07 @ 6:23 PM
Now ask me if I fucking care:
I am who I am and have no qualms about it. As far as I am concerned, if you don't like me, tough shit and fuck off.
Granted, I am not everyone's cup of tea, however, if everyone were drinking the same thing as that was all that was available, then we would be content in that fact. Life is complex as are the individuals who live it. As a result, people are different and the same all in one ball. Maybe what crazy thought you think in your head that goes against the norm or status quo is the same as what others think. The difference occurs and divisions are drawn when certain individuals ACT out their thoughts.
This can be viewed as odd or maladjusted behavior based on the observer. If the observer lacks the capacity of an open mind, then moral and/or societal norms are applied and turned against the person who is *acting out that which he/she thinks. * Murder, incest, molestation, and rape, are excluded unless ACTED out as a fantasy with a consenting individual. If you are stupid enough to be robbed, then you deserve it.
Is there a problem in being something that is not predefined and approved by the system? What about a person who lives on the fringe of society or one that rebels at society's structure by not conforming? A person who is free spirited, care free, and conscious...conscious of who and what they really are. ~ Arachne ~ 2/15/07 @ 6:20 PM
Granted, I am not everyone's cup of tea, however, if everyone were drinking the same thing as that was all that was available, then we would be content in that fact. Life is complex as are the individuals who live it. As a result, people are different and the same all in one ball. Maybe what crazy thought you think in your head that goes against the norm or status quo is the same as what others think. The difference occurs and divisions are drawn when certain individuals ACT out their thoughts.
This can be viewed as odd or maladjusted behavior based on the observer. If the observer lacks the capacity of an open mind, then moral and/or societal norms are applied and turned against the person who is *acting out that which he/she thinks. * Murder, incest, molestation, and rape, are excluded unless ACTED out as a fantasy with a consenting individual. If you are stupid enough to be robbed, then you deserve it.
Is there a problem in being something that is not predefined and approved by the system? What about a person who lives on the fringe of society or one that rebels at society's structure by not conforming? A person who is free spirited, care free, and conscious...conscious of who and what they really are. ~ Arachne ~ 2/15/07 @ 6:20 PM
The Clinic:
Normally I am assertive in demeanor and go after what I want using whatever tools necessary. On February 12 the need to be aggressive came into play. When I arrived at the clinic there were exactly 20 people ahead of me. Not feeling too well, I asked the receptionist approximately how long she expected the wait to be. When she advised me that it would be 1 ½ to 2 hours (3:40 p.m.), I went home to chill in the comfort of my home as what was ailing me was making me anxious. After waiting the approximate time, I made my way back to the clinic and again asked "how long" and "how many people ahead of me" (5:50 p.m.). This time the count was 8 and I was told to come back in 1 ½ hours. Again, I went home to chill. Upon returning to the clinic at 7:20 p.m., I was told by the receptionist that my name had been called and because I wasn't there, I was now at the end of the list. This did not sit too well with my anxiety. I explained the anxiety situation and told her that I returned within the given time frame. Also, I explained that I could not stay in "waiting" under my current circumstances and that is why I chilled at home. In the same breath, I said that I wanted to be seen right here and right now for which she replied that it was impossible. She was patronizing me with a shitface grin and slimy attitude so I told her that I did not want to deal with her and to get a superior. I demanded to speak to someone above her. At first she said there was no one above her, but maybe she looked into my eyes...maybe. She got the nurse. When the nurse came out, I explained the situation by saying that I was dealing with anxiety and that is why I had to leave the clinic twice. I explained that I should not have to go to the end of the list as I was there now and should be seen next. This is where the language barrier was hit. She stated that she did not understand English too good, however, she understood malade a la tete, postal, and crazy. The nurse said: Room #1. I was outta there in 10 minutes.
Had the bitch pushed further I cannot say how I would have handled it. If she would have called the cops, I surely would have been busted as I had my weapons on me. C'est la vie! ~ Maggie 2/15/07 penned prior to 2:00 p.m.
Had the bitch pushed further I cannot say how I would have handled it. If she would have called the cops, I surely would have been busted as I had my weapons on me. C'est la vie! ~ Maggie 2/15/07 penned prior to 2:00 p.m.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Happiness Defined:
Happiness defined...
I usually state that happiness occurs upon death, however, I have rehashed the thought and perhaps it could be...
My definition: The feelings shared between two in all areas equally and universally...happiness includes woe, poverty, and strife.
Sharing my life would make me glad to a degree...If [a relationship] were incorporated into my life in general, which it should be, then I guess that a relationship could bring happiness.
Note: Nothing is set in stone.
If, should, guess, and could...are possibilities.
DEATH is where true happiness lies as we cease to be UNHAPPY.
Can happy be a constant?
Where does true and constant happiness lie? Does it lie in the head of a fool or madman?
A fool or jester can wear a smile indicative of happiness, yet he cries within.
This eve brings a gloomy atmosphere of scented candles and chamber music.
It unmasks what lurks beneath the skin.
My phantom.
I have placed myself in this contemplative state and I must bring myself out. It is not all that bad as it generates creativity.
Everything has a positive side.
Giggles...
The jester's painted mouth speaks laughing words.
They shoot horses don't they? ~ Maggie @ 2/6/2007 11:47:25 PM
LISTENING TO: Salvonic Dance No. 1 for orchestra in C major , B83/1 (Op 46/1) by Antonin Dvorak
I usually state that happiness occurs upon death, however, I have rehashed the thought and perhaps it could be...
My definition: The feelings shared between two in all areas equally and universally...happiness includes woe, poverty, and strife.
Sharing my life would make me glad to a degree...If [a relationship] were incorporated into my life in general, which it should be, then I guess that a relationship could bring happiness.
Note: Nothing is set in stone.
If, should, guess, and could...are possibilities.
DEATH is where true happiness lies as we cease to be UNHAPPY.
Can happy be a constant?
Where does true and constant happiness lie? Does it lie in the head of a fool or madman?
A fool or jester can wear a smile indicative of happiness, yet he cries within.
This eve brings a gloomy atmosphere of scented candles and chamber music.
It unmasks what lurks beneath the skin.
My phantom.
I have placed myself in this contemplative state and I must bring myself out. It is not all that bad as it generates creativity.
Everything has a positive side.
Giggles...
The jester's painted mouth speaks laughing words.
They shoot horses don't they? ~ Maggie @ 2/6/2007 11:47:25 PM
LISTENING TO: Salvonic Dance No. 1 for orchestra in C major , B83/1 (Op 46/1) by Antonin Dvorak
Classic...Maestro?
Time finds my head reeling in my own thoughts and I endlessly sit in the "hum" of it all. Perhaps I have struck a chord after all. However, I am not quite sure yet. Where will this lead me? Call me spoiled if you will, but I want things the way I want them and at this point in my life, I am not going to settle because something is "comfortable." Comfort is not enough. Now discomfort is something that I can relate to. Discomfort and uneasy acquisitions are worth having. Last night gave me something to think about...something to seek out and explore.
I gave a good buddy on myspace a call because I KNOW that he is not a bullshitter and will call it as he sees it. Because of his advice, I will think of things on a different level as he had a great point. A point that had not occurred to me. Although the advice goes against my natural being, the point was so well taken that I will have to adjust my way of thinking and being in a drastic manner. The adjustment will require a whole new thought process which I will have to talk myself into as it is VALID. Why should I argue with logic? That would be outright foolish.
Previously my mind was set to "no try before you buy." However, there are flaws in that statement. What happens if I don't take an individual for a test drive? I could be committing to something...to someone who does not fill my sexual needs and that could lead to disaster. Luckily, I have not had a problem in this area before so I have never had to think otherwise.
Give me a dangerous man
A man who will go after what he wants
A man who takes what he wants
A man who does not take "NO" for an answer
A man who will put my funky ass in place
A man who can read my desires and fulfill them
A man who can tell me of his desires and expect fulfillment
A man whose words can cause my mind to stir and my nether regions to saturate
A man who can locate all my buttons
A man who can get past the tough exterior
A man who can hone in on my soft core
I gave a good buddy on myspace a call because I KNOW that he is not a bullshitter and will call it as he sees it. Because of his advice, I will think of things on a different level as he had a great point. A point that had not occurred to me. Although the advice goes against my natural being, the point was so well taken that I will have to adjust my way of thinking and being in a drastic manner. The adjustment will require a whole new thought process which I will have to talk myself into as it is VALID. Why should I argue with logic? That would be outright foolish.
Previously my mind was set to "no try before you buy." However, there are flaws in that statement. What happens if I don't take an individual for a test drive? I could be committing to something...to someone who does not fill my sexual needs and that could lead to disaster. Luckily, I have not had a problem in this area before so I have never had to think otherwise.
Give me a dangerous man
A man who will go after what he wants
A man who takes what he wants
A man who does not take "NO" for an answer
A man who will put my funky ass in place
A man who can read my desires and fulfill them
A man who can tell me of his desires and expect fulfillment
A man whose words can cause my mind to stir and my nether regions to saturate
A man who can locate all my buttons
A man who can get past the tough exterior
A man who can hone in on my soft core
~ Arachne 2/6/07 this was penned before 3:00 p.m.
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